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Publisher's Summary

Vicky Beeching, called 'arguably the most influential Christian of her generation' in The Guardian, began writing songs for the church in her teens. By the time she reached her early 30s, Vicky was a household name in churches on both sides of the pond.

Recording multiple albums and singing in America's largest megachurches, her music was used weekly around the globe and translated into numerous languages.

But this poster girl for evangelical Christianity lived with a debilitating inner battle: she was gay. The tens of thousands of traditional Christians she sang in front of were unanimous in their view - they staunchly opposed same-sex relationships and saw homosexuality as a grievous sin. Vicky knew if she ever spoke up about her identity it would cost her everything.

Faced with a major health crisis, at the age of 35 she decided to tell the world that she was gay. As a result, all hell broke loose. She lost her music career and livelihood, faced threats and vitriol from traditionalists, developed further health issues from the immense stress and had to rebuild her life almost from scratch. 

But despite losing so much she gained far more: she was finally able to live from a place of wholeness, vulnerability, and authenticity. She finally found peace. What's more, Vicky became a champion for others, fighting for LGBT equality in the church and in the corporate sector. Her courageous work is creating change in the US and the UK, as she urges people to celebrate diversity, live authentically and become 'undivided'. 

©2018 Vicky Beeching (P)2018 HarperCollins Publishers

Critic Reviews

"Whether you have faith or not, are gay, straight or neither, in a relationship or not, this is a must-read book. Brave, fresh and honest it will help humankind become more humane." (Clare Balding, Broadcaster and Author)

"Stories like Vicky's change the world. This is a wonderful book: it's compelling, moving and profoundly important. It is a beautiful story of personal triumph over toxic homophobia." (Nicky Campbell, Broadcaster and Author)

"This is a life-changing book. Vicky's blisteringly honest account of her painful journey through a world of prejudice challenges us all to look again at 21st century society." (Dr. Brian May, Lead Guitarist from the band Queen)

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A Memoir that gives hope

I loved this book and liked all about it. I was hooping Vicky to narrate it though.
I give the book five stars because of the exciting real life story together with a deep understanding in booth theology and psychology make it an excellent narrative for every lgbtq+ christian to reflect on.
I recommend the book to every church leader, pastor and youth leader and to lgbtq+ parents.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 08-29-18

A must read

This has helped me understand so much in my journey with God thank you Vicky

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  • Nibbler
  • 08-19-18

Every Christian should read this book

This is Vicky's powerful memoir of her life as a gay person 'in the closet' as a poster girl in the Evangelical Church, then her very personal account of a very public coming out. It is intensely powerful, well written and very moving.

Tracing Vicky's rather unusual life from childhood to her coming out and beyond, this book is hard to stop listening to. As worship leader and 'poster girl' to the Evangelical Church, Vicky held a deep and difficult secret. Because she loved God and the Church so much, she struggled for years under anti-gay Church teaching, even being part of the system. Eventually unable to cope any more her mental and physical health gave way and the process of her healing and coming out began.

The Church has twisted itself in knots over this issue for years, this book shows the other side of abusive teaching and through her brutal honesty and vulnerability Vicky gracefully invites new thinking. Intwined within the story is an excellent, easily understood distillation of the theology. If you are a Christian I strongly recommend this book, whichever side of the debate you take. If you are a Church leader and haven't read it, you probably need to start thinking of excuses why!

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  • Frank
  • 07-26-18

tearful, heart breaking story a privilege to hear

Clearly an open account of the delema of coming out beautifully told from girl,teen to women. I would have preferred it being read by Vicky. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on church interpretation and teaching which does over many years change. It does make you think. Vicky's many attributes is Love your enemies 😍 and her faith remains which is remakable. Reminds me of apostle James "faith in action" Vicky continues were I would personally close the door on going to church because of the parishioners. Brave!

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  • lizzie kevan
  • 08-17-18

Heartfelt and honest

Vicky Beeching brings you along on her journey with honesty and humour. It's a powerful call to the church to love unconditionally and see the world through new eyes. Highly recommend.

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  • K Taylor
  • 08-15-18

powerful, heart breaking and full of hope

Vicky's story is a powerful witness to the damage which can be inflicted by having to live a lie.
Vicky clearly has a deep passion for God and her scholarly approach to gaining clarity on the issue of Biblical teachings about sexual orientation and same sex relationships shows how seriously she viewed her situation.
I found a strong message of hope in this book, that our society is moving towards acceptance and inclusion for everyone and that religious communities will join the party!

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  • OrientalPoppy
  • 08-07-18

A must read

This book is beautifully written, enlightening and a message to Christians that Jesus is about love. Vicki is a Oxford Graduate in Theology and it shows. The book is in stark comparison to the Evangelical churches whose priests have no academic background in Theology. A lot of them are nothing more than snake oil salesmen.
Vicki Beeching is brave. She loves God. She is now in a position of exposing a movement that is so full of hatred when they should all be about love. Don't miss this book if you are Christian who believes in Jesus rather than religiosity.

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  • Cat
  • 08-02-18

Excellent

Vicky is easy to relate to. She expresses her experiences of being gay in a public evangelical setting and the loss that came with it. She shares her journey of finding supportive LGBTQ+ Christians and those outside the church. Her words are inspiring, hopeful and helpful to queer Christians who have faced similar rejection and ridicule. Recommend this book wholeheartedly.

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  • MR A G SERVINI
  • 07-30-18

Worth reading.

This book may prove to be controversial in its conclusions about being a lgbtq+ Christian and theology for many Christians. However, I think it is well worth reading whatever theological position is adopted on this subject. It is very moving and challenging on so many levels.

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  • Naomi Parsons
  • 07-26-18

Brilliant book

A hugely important book for everyone, whatever their faith or orientation. Well written and well read.

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  • Charlotte
  • 07-25-18

Powerful and painfully honest

Vicky Beeching’s book is a striking memoir - painfully honest about the trauma she has endured, reducing me to tears on more than one occasion. Immensely gracious towards those who have persecuted her, wholly demonstrative of her strong Christian faith and relentless quest to become whole. This book is well worth your time.

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 08-07-18

SUCH an important book for 2018

Vicky Beeching’s story is important to hear for christians, members of the LGBQTI+ community and anyone living in the mainstream western world! She speaks with bravery from the heart both of her journey and the journey of many LGBQTI+ people. It is hard to hear this story and not feel empathy and a desire to work towards building bridges both in and out of the church!