Understanding the Borderline Mother

Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable, and Volatile Relationship

By: Christine Ann Lawson

Narrated by: Heather Auden

The first love in our lives is our mother. Recognizing her face, her voice, the meaning of her moods, and her facial expressions is crucial to survival. In this book, Dr. Christine Ann Lawson vividly describes how mothers who suffer from borderline personality disorder produce children who may flounder in life even as adults, futilely struggling to reach the safety of a parental harbor, unable to recognize that their borderline parent lacks a pier, or even a discernible shore.

Four character profiles describe different symptom clusters that include the waif mother, the hermit mother, the queen mother, and the witch. Children of borderlines are at risk for developing this complex and devastating personality disorder themselves. Dr. Lawson's recommendations for prevention include empathic understanding of the borderline mother and early intervention with her children to ground them in reality.

Addressing the adult children of borderlines and the therapists who work with them, Dr. Lawson shows how to care for the waif without rescuing her, to attend to the hermit without feeding her fear, to love the queen without becoming her subject, and to live with the witch without becoming her victim.

©2000 Christine Ann Lawson (P)2016 Tantor

It took me 45 years to finally know why my Mother is as she is.

This book was recommended to me by a therapist who sat next to my husband on a flight. They were discussing my Mother and within 3 words she tore a page from a magazine and wrote he name of this book down and said "once she starts to read this she will begin to see and understand with a new found clarity" and for the first time in my life such a recommendation held true from beginning to end. I took notes, I identified all my Mothers traits and am grateful to the depths of my soul and all whom may be suffering with such. It was comforting also to know my intuition has been guiding me very well as I thankfully did not inherit my Mothers "Queen/Witch" or any other personality disorder, I do feel I would like to do as the book suggests however and seek out a therapist to help in the healing of all of the past pain that still when I speak to her surfaces. Cruelty from a Mother is unlike any other and finally I no longer have to survive on hope. I am forever grateful to you Christine Ann Lawson as are all of us who choose to heal and grow from this so we too can allow ourselves to live a life we deserve too, one that is FULFILLED!!!

Insightful and eye opening

I knew my mother was an alcoholic with emotional issues that harmed my brother and I, but this book ended up describing huge parts of my childhood previously incomprehensible to me. It helped explain the dynamic the borderline mother encountered to create her own habits, the perspective of my father as someone who partnered with her, and affects on my own parenting as a child of a borderline parent. I am so grateful to have added this to my experience along my healing journey.

helpful steps to understand and respond

Interesting insight….definitely will help while working with traumatized survivors of human trafficking and domestic violence

Extremely accurate, insightful and healing

Excellent book and well written. Explains the experience of the child with great accuracy and uses metaphors and stories to help the reader understand concepts.

very informative

I liked how the BPD mother was broken down into subtypes and then each subtype was thoroughly explored and explained with psychoanalysis.