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Publisher's Summary

National Best Seller

ForeWord Humor Book of the Year

Benjamin Franklin Awards Humor Book of the Year

In Cruise Confidential, Brian David Bruns spills the dirt - or, in this case, the dirty water - on those romantic, fun-filled vacations at sea. His hilarious chronicle of the year he spent working for Carnival Cruise Lines takes listeners down into the areas where the crew works and lives, leaving listeners gasping with laughter as they're assaulted nonstop with events that range from the absurd to the utterly bizarre. Stewards fighting over food. Cutlery allowances and other nonsensical rules. What the crew calls those onboard (no, it's not passengers). And, of course, the sex. An abundance of ready, willing, and able bodies eager for action on a vessel replete with nooks and crannies leads to love in some mighty strange and seemingly impossible places.

Breezy, entertaining, and informative, Cruise Confidential is essential listening for those planning a cruise or for anyone who just needs a good laugh.

Don't miss the entire Cruise Confidential series:

  • Cruise Confidential
  • Ship for Brains
  • Unsinkable Mister Brown
  • High Seas Drifter

©2008 Brian David Bruns (P)2016 Brian David Bruns

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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Never been on a cruise but this makes me want to take one

My wife has talked for years about going on a cruise. I'm in the restaurant business myself for 23 years now and was fascinated by the insights and observations made in this book. My wife would be horrified to listen to this book and then go on a cruise. Personally I reveled in it. Every moment kept you waiting for the next. The energy and exuberance of the narrator conveyed the hectic emotions of the author. Wonderfully experienced, written and read. Seamless in it's amazing ability to deliver the feel of being there. Listening on my way home after a 13 hour shift I could commiserate with the exhaustion of the author. The separation from loved ones due to work. Well done. I received this audiobook from the author narrator or publisher for free via audiobookblast in exchange for an unbiased review.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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  • Jan
  • United States
  • 04-22-16

Once upon a time, on a cruise ship far away....

I have never been on a cruise ship, but I have worked with ESL folks from many different cultures, so I regard this narrative as less reality than wishful thinking. That being said, by regarding it as a fanciful tale full of ego and testosterone, I enjoyed it and laughed myself silly! I mean, come on, he is the best at everything? And everyone is constantly bedhopping? Really, he is NOT James Bond! And no one ever gets mal de mer or Traveller's Revenge? But if you take it as humor, it is hard not to enjoy it. Even if only 10% is based in reality, it is still a smudged window into a workplace that many of us never are aware of.
Maybe I just enjoyed it more because it was performed with such agility by Gary Furlong who made it even more fun.
I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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The title might have exaggerated the story a bit.

I picked this book up because of the title, but I think it might have exaggerated the story a bit. The writing is fun and there is plenty going on. But it does get a little repetitive after a while. There is very little "behind the scenes" talked about. Most of the stories actually happen in front of guests on the ship.

Gary Furlong did an excellent job narrating. I was a bit surprised Bruns didn't narrate his own story, but that's okay.

**I received a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.**

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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SS POSEIDON / AMISTAD love child

What made the experience of listening to Cruise Confidential: A Hit Below the Waterline the most enjoyable?

Wacky below decks behind the glamour expose. Exciting Enthusiastic narration.

What other book might you compare Cruise Confidential: A Hit Below the Waterline to and why?

Elements of Kitchen Confidential by Bourdain, farcical elements a la M.A.S.H. by Hooker (nee) Hornberger. With some pinches of Toby Tyler by James Otis Kaler via Disney.

Which character – as performed by Gary Furlong – was your favorite?

The author / protagonist.

If you were to make a film of this book, what would the tag line be?

I 95, Mama told me to see the world, but I should have stayed in school. Is that too long for a film title?

Any additional comments?

A whirlwind, insane insider look at Cruise Ship employee challenges. You wonder why there aren't more "man over board "accidents" involving ships' crew members. lol <br/><br/>I enjoyed Gary Furlong's upbeat narration.<br/><br/>Thank you for making this audiobook available.<br/><br/>This audiobook was provided by the author, narrator, or publisher at no cost in exchange for an unbiased review courtesy of AudiobookBoom dot com."

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Absolutely entertaining from cover to cover!

Could not stop listening to this remarkable journey on board a cruise ship. Loved it!

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If you take cruises you MUST read this book!

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

I have never been on a cruise, but I still loved the book. Hearing the skinny on how cruise crews live, love, hate, and survive is mind boggling. Funny tales, infuriating encounters with other crew and passengers, and the boat politics will keep you captivated.

Any additional comments?

I wish the author would have told us more about his years as Art Auctioneer.

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excellent

I enjoyed this story almost as much as "The truth about cruiseships". both are very entertaining.

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great narrator and storytelling

Very entertaining. The narrator is great with all the accents, the audio book is great for that over reading the paper version. The author is a great storyteller. I found out there are 3 more books from the series and can't wait to listen to them also.

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Very revealing!

What made the experience of listening to Cruise Confidential: A Hit Below the Waterline the most enjoyable?

The account of the general life of crew members and how they are treated by the cruise line. Also, the prejudice of some managers against Americans.

What other book might you compare Cruise Confidential: A Hit Below the Waterline to and why?

Burt Reynolds' recent book. Great behind the scenes information.

What about Gary Furlong’s performance did you like?

Great voice inflection. How different nationality's accents were used.

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

Definitely made me laugh!

Any additional comments?

As a longtime cruiser, it really makes me think of the plight of the cruise workers and how they are treated by both management and guests. May God bless them!

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As real as it gets

Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?

Loved this book. Read it and several of his others.

Who was your favorite character and why?

The unvarnished truth, the good the bad, and the funny as hell. Brian is the main character, and you get a sense of him through his narrative style. I've been waiting for this to come to audible, if you havent read any of Brian's other books seek them out. Wish he was still to Carnival when I was there

Any additional comments?

.....if he said holy cat one more time....

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  • paul.burling@ntlworld.com
  • 12-29-16

Informative behind the scenes revelations

Informative, funny and enlightening. Excellent nararation. Look forward to the rest of the series being released in audio format.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • clifford
  • 09-25-17

moaning whining dull don't waste your time

terrible dull story. hours of moaning and whining hours of your life wasted you will never get back.