They Called Us Exceptional

And Other Lies That Raised Us

De: Prachi Gupta

Narrado por: Prachi Gupta

“In this vulnerable and courageous memoir, Prachi Gupta takes the myth of the exceptional Indian American family to task.”—The Washington Post

“I read it in one sitting. Wow. It aims right at the tender spot where racism, sexism, and family dynamics collide, and somehow manages to be both searingly honest and deeply compassionate.”—Celeste Ng, New York Times bestselling author of Little Fires Everywhere

LONGLISTED FOR THE PEN/OPEN BOOK AWARD • A SHE READS BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR • ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE SEASON: The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Boston Globe, Bustle

How do we understand ourselves when the story about who we are supposed to be is stronger than our sense of self? What do we stand to gain—and lose—by taking control of our narrative?

Family defined the cultural identity of Prachi and her brother, Yush, connecting them to a larger Indian American community amid white suburbia. But their belonging was predicated on a powerful myth: the idea that Asian Americans, and Indian Americans in particular, have perfected the alchemy of middle-class life, raising tight-knit, high-achieving families that are immune to hardship. Molding oneself to fit this image often comes at a steep, but hidden, cost. In They Called Us Exceptional, Gupta articulates the dissonance, shame, and isolation of being upheld as an American success story while privately navigating traumas the world says do not exist.

Gupta addresses her story to her mother, braiding a deeply vulnerable personal narrative with history, postcolonial theory, and research on mental health to show how she slowly made sense of her reality and freed herself from the pervasive, reductive myth that had once defined her. But tragically, the act that liberated Gupta was also the act that distanced her from those she loved most. By charting her family’s slow unraveling, and her determination to break the cycle, Gupta shows how traditional notions of success keep us disconnected from ourselves and one another—and passionately argues why we must orient ourselves toward compassion over belonging.

Made me see myself in a new light

I have never read a book as relatable as this one, yet still with so many twists and turns. As an Indian American woman who grew up with first generation immigrant parents, it was always hard for me to find characters in books or movies that I could relate to. I truly feel seen in a way that I didn’t know was possible.

‘I am not done growing, I am just beginning’

Not Indian but American Indian and can totally relate to her story. Saddened as I read of her experiences but it’s a must read!

How she stayed true to her beliefs and pushed back against her narcissistic like father.

Her honesty, her love for her brother and how she tried to save him from himself and the limiting beliefs

Good good

Prachi Gupta writes about facts well. Feelings, she’s not so out about. So it’s funny that this memoir seems like it is her life when it’s really about the others around her. Even the memory of rape is told in terms of her bother’s lack of acceptance.

The book is a long letter to her mother who we never meet. So the whole thing boils down to social skills of the loved and isolated in a family.

I suggest more Mr. Rogers and Jhumpa Lahiri.

This memoir is medicine for the soul.

Reading this memoir in less than 24 hours has been a process of healing through cathartic release. Through reading Prachi Gupta’s story, I was able to access an emotional depth and connection to myself I thought I had buried and lost forever. Thank you, Prachi, for bravely and so beautifully modeling that telling the truth and loving oneself is always worth the risks. ♥️