Them

Why We Hate Each Other - and How to Heal

By: Ben Sasse

Narrated by: Ben Sasse

Length: 9 hrs and 16 mins

Publisher's summary

From the New York Times bestselling author of The Vanishing American Adult, an intimate and urgent assessment of the existential crisis facing our nation.

Something is wrong. We all know it.

American life expectancy is declining for a third straight year. Birth rates are dropping. Nearly half of us think the other political party isn’t just wrong; they’re evil. We’re the richest country in history, but we’ve never been more pessimistic.

What’s causing the despair?

In Them, bestselling author and U.S. senator Ben Sasse argues that, contrary to conventional wisdom, our crisis isn’t really about politics. It’s that we’re so lonely we can’t see straight—and it bubbles out as anger.

Local communities are collapsing. Across the nation, little leagues are disappearing, Rotary clubs are dwindling, and in all likelihood, we don’t know the neighbor two doors down. Work isn’t what we’d hoped: less certainty, few lifelong coworkers, shallow purpose. Stable families and enduring friendships—life’s fundamental pillars—are in statistical freefall.

As traditional tribes of place evaporate, we rally against common enemies so we can feel part of a team. No institutions command widespread public trust, enabling foreign intelligence agencies to use technology to pick the scabs on our toxic divisions. We’re in danger of half of us believing different facts than the other half, and the digital revolution throws gas on the fire.

There’s a path forward—but reversing our decline requires something radical: a rediscovery of real places and human-to-human relationships. Even as technology nudges us to become rootless, Sasse shows how only a recovery of rootedness can heal our lonely souls.

America wants you to be happy, but more urgently, America needs you to love your neighbor and connect with your community. Fixing what's wrong with the country depends on it.

©2018 Ben Sasse (P)2018 Macmillan Audio

Critic reviews

“Sasse is highly attuned to the cultural sources of our current discontents and dysfunctions...Them is not so much a lament for a bygone era as an attempt to diagnose and repair what has led us to this moment of spittle-flecked rage...a step toward healing a hurting nation.” (National Review)

Read This!

Even if you don't agree with the authors prescription for healing our country, this book will help you see the political and social climate in our country in a new way. He does a remarkable job staying apolitical, even using example of "bad acters" from the right. If you choose not to read this book because he's a conservative, you're doing yourself a disservice.

please take the time to read or listen.

I wish that all citizens who love America take the time to read this book.

Great book read by the author

Well researched book on very pertinent subjects facing all Americans. A non-political book written by a politician seems oxymoronic, but Sen. Sasse pulled it off well.

A refreshing perspective!

This is NOT a political commentary. It is a plea to recognize the increasing divisiveness of our media outlets, technology, and shifting culture. It is a call to community and common decency again. I long to see this type of message spread far and wide, and for it to be well received and acted upon. Great perspective Ben!

Excellent for both liberals and conservatives

So I just finished Ben Sasse's "Them" this morning. It's brilliant. I recommend it whether you are a conservative or liberal, and I think it's particularly salient if you are a parent trying to raise kids in a rapidly changing and increasingly chaotic world, or just someone like me who feels worn down and disoriented by all of the political division and extremism. Ben takes us back to first principles on things like how to talk to your neighbors, how to create and protect the family space while increasing your connectedness to the community, and how to live a life of meaning and principle. His research is rigorous, his advice is rooted not only in the data but also in his values and personal experience, and his delivery is straight forward, approachable and warm. If you listen to the audiobook as I did, Sasse also narrates. This is a plus in this case, as his declamation comes across as both warm and professorial. Sasse is a natural teacher/coach. I really cannot recommend this book highly enough.

I like it muchly

very relevant and engaging difficulties of our modern America with a sharp insight and key issues identified with some practical ways to deal with digital world and neighborhoods and community.

Every American should read

Ben Sasse provides excellent advice on how to root yourself in your local community improving your life and the lives of those around you.

Couldn't Put it Down.

Yet another great book of wisdom for my generation and the generations behind mine. Also a great audio performance from the author.

Doing Life Better

"Them" is a rare book that challenges you to live a better life and be a better person who values family and community over shallow pursuits. Ben Sasse provides a lot on which to reflect. I'll be unpacking this one for a while.

Has some VERY valid points

Mr. Sasse has some very good points and lots of food for thought. As a committed Democrat, I appreciated his respectfulness and reinforcement of civility. My concern comes from his expression of purported understanding of Democratic (party) issues, which are understandably lacking in depth and nuance. Still, he is to be commended for giving it a valiant try. And as I said, many of his points are extremely salient.