The Unfortunates

By: G. E. Moore

Narrated by: Bobby Garrison

Gross powers. Bad timing. One wrong move away from total collapse.

Welcome to APEX Academy, where the gifted become gods... and the gross get dumped into Team Nine.

Meet The Unfortunates: a team of outcasts with powers so disturbing, other students refuse to spar with them. We're talking fart-propelled flight, booger armor, sentient urine fog, weaponized hair, and the ability to absorb and redistribute pain like karmic landmines.

They’re disgusting. They’re dysfunctional. And they might be the only team strong enough to uncover what’s really going on at APEX. Because students are disappearing. Memories don’t line up. And beneath the academy’s polished surface lies a secret: this school eats its weakest. Literally.

As their bond grows and their powers evolve, The Unfortunates will face rogue memories, buried loops, and a predator hiding behind a friendly smile. To survive, they'll need more than bathroom humor and trauma—they’ll need each other.

Perfect for fans of The Boys, Deadpool, and anyone who likes their superheroes funny, filthy, and just smart enough to break the system.

©2025 G. E. Moore (P)2025 G. E. Moore

Quirky Dark Fantasy

I was entertained by this story. Although the setting was that of a school, I was amazed by the unusual and dark worldbuilding which the author created. I was intrigued by the various characters. I appreciated how circumstances helped to mold their group. My attention was riveted as the mystery unfolded. I was amused by many of the witty quips, but I did find that the bathroom humor got a little old. I thought Bobby Garrison's narration was entertaining, and it was his performance which helped to raise my rating to 5 stars. I was given a copy of the audiobook. I volunteered, without financial gain, to post this review which reflected my honest opinions regarding this audiobook.

So different - refreshing!

Written in third-person POV.
Past tense.


This caught my attention right from the prologue, which isn’t always a thing for me—well played. It gets going FAST, and it’s jam-packed with puns, juvenile humor, and superhero-style action. It’s a little silly, but our dark world could use some silly, yes?

I think this would make a fun animated film or series.


⚡ Action.
💥 Adventure.
⚡ Mysteries.
💥 Non-stop witty banter.
⚡ Academy vibes.
💥 Superheroes everywhere.
⚡ Magic (ish).
💥 Light SciFi.
⚡ A talking fungus.
💥 Sparring.
⚡ Human experimentation.

Overall:
I liked it—it’s unlike anything else I’ve read before—and I read a lot. If you’re craving something different, give this a try. A fun, light, fast-paced read!

4 stars.


🎧 Audio:
This is a fantastic audio production! Not only does it pack great voice-acting (and a smooth, pleasant voice) but it also has sound effects (which worked well with the narration being sped up, as I can’t listen to books on 1.0 speed). Very nicely done! Overall, a high-quality, professional production! 5 stars.

Heart

This book was way better than it had the right to be. It's funny, gross, with lots of action and heart. Well written and read. Will probably reread as I don't think I got it all.