-
The Secret Diary of Boris Johnson Aged 13¼
- Narrated by: Jon Culshaw
- Length: 3 hrs and 28 mins
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed

Get 2 free audiobooks during trial.
Buy for $16.12
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
Publisher's summary
**STRICTLY UNOFFICIAL**
The newly discovered diary of Boris Alexander de Pfeffel Johnson, aged 13¼, provides a fascinating glimpse into how Boris, a lazy, bumptious and overweening child, comes to believe he should be Prime Minister. Along the way, we see him hone the techniques and persona that will one day hoodwink a nation.
Extract from 13-year-old Boris's Ten Rules for Life:
It's not lying if you don't bother to learn the truth. Many people - politicians, for instance - make the mistake of going about laden with facts and statistics. However, when studiously ignorant of the aforementioned, one may argue one's case with total conviction.
A friend is just an enemy you haven't yet made. Some say there's no 'I' in 'team'. Well, I say you can't spell 'friend' without 'fiend'. No matter how dear your chum, you never know what sort of treachery they harbour inside. After all, there are many people who consider me a friend.
Read by Jon Culshaw
Critic reviews
"Deliciously funny and highly impudient." (Jon Culshaw)
More from the same
What listeners say about The Secret Diary of Boris Johnson Aged 13¼
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story

- Heather J Anderson
- 02-01-20
Fantastic
Brilliant! First class Author and Narrator! Bloody good show chaps! Spiffing! Let’s hope there a follow on, would love to hear more of these diaries...
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
2 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story

- Amazon Customer
- 10-23-19
Funny book
Never laughed at an audiobook before, but this book made me laugh throughout, listened to it in one day. Loved the narrator portraying himself as Boris. Excellent
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
2 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story

- V. O'Regan
- 10-12-19
Cannot remember laughing this much
This is hilarious from start to finish.
Its narrator perfectly captures Boris and is well known for his impressions of political figures.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
2 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story

- Mr Rupert Seymour
- 02-17-20
A fiction disconcertingly reflected in reality
Jon Culshaw has the voice, the manic inflections, the tenor and tone of this vacuous schoolboy. Lucien Young must know his subject as much as thinking citizens can see through the empty promises and lies that amount to the leaders 'successes'.
I read the book and then heard the audio. I managed to smile at the printed pages before the gravity of the truths it spoke, hit me. The audio is a fine work. Everyone should hear this and wonder where the winds of narcissism will drive us. The schoolboys extreme selfishness, his grandiose view of his own talents and a craving for admiration is worrying.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
1 person found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story

- Philip Samsworth
- 07-07-22
Rubbish
Waste of a credit, not impressed with this at all. Have deleted it from my library.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story

- caroline
- 01-25-20
Dull.
Dull. Not funny. Persevered but will not finish. Bought as Johnson was topical at the time but very disappointed with him and this book.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
Related to this topic
-
Born a Crime
- Stories from a South African Childhood
- By: Trevor Noah
- Narrated by: Trevor Noah
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In this award-winning Audible Studios production, Trevor Noah tells his wild coming-of-age tale during the twilight of apartheid in South Africa. It’s a story that begins with his mother throwing him from a moving van to save him from a potentially fatal dispute with gangsters, then follows the budding comedian’s path to self-discovery through episodes both poignant and comical.
-
-
Great book and perfect narration
- By MarilynArms on 12-15-16
By: Trevor Noah
-
Zombified: Real-World Lessons from Fictional Apocalypses
- By: Athena Aktipis, The Great Courses
- Narrated by: Athena Aktipis
- Length: 2 hrs and 33 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Athena Aktipis of Arizona State University is a self-professed apocalypse enthusiast, and as the host of the podcast Zombified, she knows the undead inside and out. With Zombified: Real-World Lessons from Fictional Apocalypses, she’s compiled her research and insights into a fascinating Audible Original that will have you thinking deeper about all those shambling, brain-hungry corpses in pop culture—not to mention our everyday lives. Drawing on years of research on zombies and zombification, these six lessons offer a fun way to explore and understand the many forces that influence us.
-
-
Free fun food for thought
- By Lucy A. Pithecus on 10-07-23
By: Athena Aktipis, and others
-
Napoleon's Hemorrhoids…And Other Small Events That Changed History
- By: Phil Mason
- Narrated by: LJ Ganser
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Hilarious, fascinating, and a roller coaster of dizzying, historical what-ifs, Napoleon's Hemorrhoids is a potpourri for serious historians and casual history buffs. In one of Phil Mason's many revelations, you'll learn that Communist jets were two minutes away from opening fire on American planes during the Cuban missile crisis, when they had to turn back as they were running out of fuel. You'll discover that before the Battle of Waterloo, Napoleon's painful hemorrhoids prevented him from mounting his horse to survey the battlefield.
-
-
They just throw the facts too fast
- By Concerned_llama on 12-11-20
By: Phil Mason
-
Slaughterhouse-Five
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: James Franco
- Length: 5 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Traumatized by the bombing of Dresden at the time he had been imprisoned, Pilgrim drifts through all events and history, sometimes deeply implicated, sometimes a witness. He is surrounded by Vonnegut's usual large cast of continuing characters (notably here the hack science fiction writer Kilgore Trout and the alien Tralfamadorians, who oversee his life and remind him constantly that there is no causation, no order, no motive to existence).
-
-
Don't Quit Your Daytime Job, James
- By Keith on 11-20-15
By: Kurt Vonnegut
-
Heads Will Roll
- By: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne
- Narrated by: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne, Tim Gunn, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Heads Will Roll is an Audible Original from Saturday Night Live star Kate McKinnon and her cocreator/costar (and real-life sister) Emily Lynne. Produced by Broadway Video, this is not an audiobook - it’s a 10-episode, star-studded audio comedy that features performances from Meryl Streep, Tim Gunn, Peter Dinklage, Queer Eye’s Fab Five, and so many more. Please note: This content is not for kids.
-
-
More like this please
- By Anon893 on 05-03-19
By: Kate McKinnon, and others
-
The Heron
- By: Don Winslow
- Narrated by: Ed Harris
- Length: 1 hr and 6 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
“The Heron” is the nickname a big-city accountant has attached to himself in his new home near San Diego, where he’s using the alias to avoid a hit man who may be after him. It seems a former client believes that The Heron has skipped town with several million dollars not his own. Don Winslow’s ensuing, entertaining yarn is by turns twisty, dark, and comical as we observe the delicate dance between the pursuer and the pursued.
-
-
Awfully long middle for such a short story
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 07-29-22
By: Don Winslow
-
Born a Crime
- Stories from a South African Childhood
- By: Trevor Noah
- Narrated by: Trevor Noah
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In this award-winning Audible Studios production, Trevor Noah tells his wild coming-of-age tale during the twilight of apartheid in South Africa. It’s a story that begins with his mother throwing him from a moving van to save him from a potentially fatal dispute with gangsters, then follows the budding comedian’s path to self-discovery through episodes both poignant and comical.
-
-
Great book and perfect narration
- By MarilynArms on 12-15-16
By: Trevor Noah
-
Zombified: Real-World Lessons from Fictional Apocalypses
- By: Athena Aktipis, The Great Courses
- Narrated by: Athena Aktipis
- Length: 2 hrs and 33 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Athena Aktipis of Arizona State University is a self-professed apocalypse enthusiast, and as the host of the podcast Zombified, she knows the undead inside and out. With Zombified: Real-World Lessons from Fictional Apocalypses, she’s compiled her research and insights into a fascinating Audible Original that will have you thinking deeper about all those shambling, brain-hungry corpses in pop culture—not to mention our everyday lives. Drawing on years of research on zombies and zombification, these six lessons offer a fun way to explore and understand the many forces that influence us.
-
-
Free fun food for thought
- By Lucy A. Pithecus on 10-07-23
By: Athena Aktipis, and others
-
Napoleon's Hemorrhoids…And Other Small Events That Changed History
- By: Phil Mason
- Narrated by: LJ Ganser
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Hilarious, fascinating, and a roller coaster of dizzying, historical what-ifs, Napoleon's Hemorrhoids is a potpourri for serious historians and casual history buffs. In one of Phil Mason's many revelations, you'll learn that Communist jets were two minutes away from opening fire on American planes during the Cuban missile crisis, when they had to turn back as they were running out of fuel. You'll discover that before the Battle of Waterloo, Napoleon's painful hemorrhoids prevented him from mounting his horse to survey the battlefield.
-
-
They just throw the facts too fast
- By Concerned_llama on 12-11-20
By: Phil Mason
-
Slaughterhouse-Five
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: James Franco
- Length: 5 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Traumatized by the bombing of Dresden at the time he had been imprisoned, Pilgrim drifts through all events and history, sometimes deeply implicated, sometimes a witness. He is surrounded by Vonnegut's usual large cast of continuing characters (notably here the hack science fiction writer Kilgore Trout and the alien Tralfamadorians, who oversee his life and remind him constantly that there is no causation, no order, no motive to existence).
-
-
Don't Quit Your Daytime Job, James
- By Keith on 11-20-15
By: Kurt Vonnegut
-
Heads Will Roll
- By: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne
- Narrated by: Kate McKinnon, Emily Lynne, Tim Gunn, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 6 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Heads Will Roll is an Audible Original from Saturday Night Live star Kate McKinnon and her cocreator/costar (and real-life sister) Emily Lynne. Produced by Broadway Video, this is not an audiobook - it’s a 10-episode, star-studded audio comedy that features performances from Meryl Streep, Tim Gunn, Peter Dinklage, Queer Eye’s Fab Five, and so many more. Please note: This content is not for kids.
-
-
More like this please
- By Anon893 on 05-03-19
By: Kate McKinnon, and others
-
The Heron
- By: Don Winslow
- Narrated by: Ed Harris
- Length: 1 hr and 6 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
“The Heron” is the nickname a big-city accountant has attached to himself in his new home near San Diego, where he’s using the alias to avoid a hit man who may be after him. It seems a former client believes that The Heron has skipped town with several million dollars not his own. Don Winslow’s ensuing, entertaining yarn is by turns twisty, dark, and comical as we observe the delicate dance between the pursuer and the pursued.
-
-
Awfully long middle for such a short story
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 07-29-22
By: Don Winslow