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Publisher's Summary

For women too busy to read a book, much less meet a man, the audio version of the smash best seller The Rules is a perfect solution. Authors Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider created an international sensation with their candid, time-tested guide to attracting, meeting, and capturing the heart of Mr. Right, and they discuss their manual with great fun and spontaneity. Fein and Schneider outline 35 easy steps that really work, as millions of satisfied readers can attest. The Rules has been profiled and debated all over the media, from The Oprah Winfrey Show to Time Magazine, and here's your chance to listen, learn, and let The Rules work for you!
©1997 Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider, All Rights Reserved, Abridgment Approved by the Authors (P)16 9; 1997 Time Warner AudioBooks; 1997 Time Warner AudioBooks (Packaging Elements Only), A Division of Time Warner Trade Publishing

Critic Reviews

  • Winner of Publishers Weekly Listen Up Award: Best Audio of 1997, Self-Help.

"A must read!" (People Magazine)

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

Overall

  • 3.5 out of 5 stars
  • 5 Stars
    81
  • 4 Stars
    38
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    38
  • 2 Stars
    26
  • 1 Stars
    34

Performance

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    26
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Story

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Melineh
  • Houston, TX, USA
  • 05-16-09

I'll give it a try

I wasn't able to thoroughly enjoy this book because of its horrible audio. I don't know what the problem is, it's just very hard to listen to. The principles contained in this book seem to make sense, and I've been doing the exact opposite for a long while. I will give these suggestions a try. My aim is not to get married like they (overly) stress the end result should be. I just want someone agreeable to share my life with, and that may not include marriage... I think that was just way overemphasized in this book. I do like very much that they say that I should have boundaries. God knows that I've been trying to please everyone my entire life and it has only brought me sadness... I will try to live by the rules for a while and see what happens. If it weren't for the crappy audio on this book, I would've given it 5 stars.

6 of 6 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars

The Rules (For dating)

This is a well structured approach to dos and don't of dating the men in our modern society. It uses common sense and sound advice. I tested the approaches, they work and there are very few advices the authors provide that I would ever disagree with.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Eshap
  • AUSTIN, TEXAS, US
  • 03-08-13

A good place to start

I first heard about this book from a friend who knew a friend who got her boyfriend by following the rules.

While I can't say I have shared in this success, I do think there are some good principles listed in here. Definitely a good place to start, build upon and tweak for what seems to work and not work.

I know a lot of critics of The Rules think that it is too dramatic, too harsh and paints an unflattering picture of men and women...

BUT as a 21 year old college student who is: trusting of all, forgives and overlooks faults easily, can be naive as a child, and has been told that one of my hobbies is BEING NICE (not to be immodest)... this book was very helpful in changing my attitude toward guys.

The authors advocate following the rules to a T to ensure results. I don't.. maybe why I am single?? Just kidding. And truly I don't believe that any one method or way can or will work for everyone. And that may be another problem critics have with this book: It promotes itself as a cure-all for any situation, and I just don't think that is realistic.

However what this book helped me with was admitting that I had not previously been giving myself the respect I deserved, being too lenient with guys and just giving too much of myself in general.

So although they propose you listen to this as many times as needed until you memorize all the rules... I just listened once, took the big picture... and consciously try to apply the logic in their message to my daily male interactions.

Plus if nothing else, I can honestly say that I respect myself so much more now, and I am happy that I was able to read this while I am still young. Many of my friends throw themselves at guys and constantly clear their schedules "just in case." I used to be the same way, but now I just laugh.

While I am single, I must say that while all of my friends are constantly going out and many even turning to online dating... I am getting asked out left and right! Professors, pharmacists, class mates and beyond.

I can't say everyone will have this same success, and I am definitely not saying it is all because of the rules... but I do think it helped me to at least initially re-think some of my perspective.

As a last side note, I think this book is coupled great with Mars and Venus On A Date (same author as Men are from mars women are from Venus).

While The Rules will tell you what to do and not to do... I think getting the underlying deeper psychology and psychological differences between the races from Mars and Venus on a date will help further communication, understanding and behavior toward the male race.

One critique of this book is that it gives guys too much credit. Too much credit in assuming that they are all casanovas who KNOW to ask us out several days in advance, and KNOW that we don't want to be asked out via text message. Some guys are just clueless and don't know these things. While the book does offer tips for suggesting these things... I really do think that some guys may try their best and still not meet up to the Rules requirements.

Happy Dating!

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

awesome loved it great book interesting

loved it great book very interesting. great info. very informative great suggestions about dating i would recommend to friends

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

Quality of audio is shocking!

The quality of the audio version is disgusting. It’s a copy of a tape recording! Shocking.

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars

Toxic

Laughably outdated and oppressive. Seek help if this book resonated with you! I was literally laughing out loud at the "rules" on how to sell your self identity for love. No thanks.

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars

Extremely Dated

Not only is the advice in this book severely antiquated (it talks about having to leave the voice mail machine and never even mentions texting), but the advice in this books makes me uncomfortable as a woman in the 21st century. I understand "be mysterious" and "play hard to get" but there is a vast difference between playing hard to get and being psychotic. Don't ever return his calls? Impose a limit on how many times you can see your boyfriend a week? (spoiler: its 2-3) This book encourages women to hold back and, in some cases, to not be themselves with the men once they're already dating! I just don't think that's practical or logical, so I'm going to recommend not waisting you time or money on this book.

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars

Over thinkers and genuine people beware!

There are some solid points in this such as: love and care for yourself inside and out, have a life outside a man, a man should invest in you increasingly as the relationship progresses and you should respond with appreciation and happiness (especially if it pleases you), dress for success, wait to have sex until you are in a serious long-term relationship or marriage, move slow physically initially to develop emotional intimacy over time and not rush things, do things that expand your mind and make you feel happy and alive, be your best self, which is naturally feminine and warm and inviting.

As for the rest, pure manipulation and insecurity as a way of life. This book misses the trust and communication part. Yes, us women need standards, yet we will be just fine when we make our boundaries clear by stating them
Once and reinforcing them, if violated, with consequences.

Being single and a cat lady is not so bad compared to a life playing games married to a man that does not know the real you. Plus, he will mirror you and two people will miss out on a depth and intimacy that is truly powerful and inspiring. A lifetime of mental gymnastics or ‘rules’ are worse than singleness to me.

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars

Really bad quality of sound

Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?

Due to the bad quality of sound it was extremely difficult to focus in the book.

Was The Rules worth the listening time?

IF THE SOUND QUALITY WAS IMPROVED, DEFINITELY YES.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

So very helpful, worth it's weight on stars!

Where does The Rules rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

A must have for anyone who would like to be treated with respect, dignity & kindness

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Fatou
  • 12-23-12

Insightful, Inspiring and True

The rules showed me that I had been far too nice in all my relationships and so had to toughen up! I really enjoyed the narration by the writers themselves, Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider. They knew there material so well, and this showed - really well read.



I would recommend this audio book to anyone, who wants to turn their relationship around.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    2 out of 5 stars
  • lawrie minty
  • 04-22-18

So badly recorded :(

I've read this book dozens of times, as it is fantastic. i thought an audio version would be useful so I could hear it whilst I'm busy and really get the rules into my head. it sounds like the writers have sat at home with a tape recorder though, I Think it must of been recorded in the early 90's, as that's when this was written. it is hard to listen to, also muffled at points so I had to rewind and listen in through the static. really disappointing and not a delight to clean the house, do makeup too like other audios are

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Ms Lucy-Anne W
  • 03-24-18

Sound Quality horrendous

Sound Quality is so bad I've just called for a refund and it has been given. Sounds like it's been recorded via being played on a tape machine... distortion, hissy back ground noise. it's a shame as this book has been so highly recommended and I'm excited to listen to it in sure it's great but can't possibly listen to this poor recording.

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Alessandra
  • 12-17-17

The sound

It didn’t sounds good, the sound quality it’s awful, it’s noisy and not clear, bad

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars
  • LittleForestOwl
  • 09-17-15

Good advice

I found the book to have good advice, as I have been doing everything the book advices not to do. Hopefully it works. The only thing I'm not happy with advice wise, is the whole biting your tongue thing once you're married. Recording wise, it's narrated well, but the sound, sounds like it was recorded over the phone and long distance. It's very tinny! Overall, I would recommend this book

0 of 1 people found this review helpful