The Relaxed Male By cover art

The Relaxed Male

By: Bryan Goodwin
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  • Summary

  • The Relaxed Male is a podcast dedicated to empowering men to build healthier, more fulfilling relationships in all areas of their lives. Whether it's romantic partnerships, family bonds, friendships, or professional connections, this show provides insights and actionable advice for building and maintaining positive relationships grounded in mutual understanding, respect, and care. Each episode delves into the unique challenges and opportunities men face when it comes to fostering meaningful connections. The host Bryan assists men in understanding how the elements of how one approaches a problem can hinder relationship growth. Through thought-provoking discussions, real-life examples, and practical exercises, listeners gain valuable tools to improve their listening skills, empathy, vulnerability and thoughts needed for building trust and intimacy with those around them. The show also covers the importance of self-awareness, personal growth, and taking responsibility for one's actions and their impact on others. Ultimately, The Relaxed Male aims to empower men to have strong relationships without sacrificing who they are in the process. Helping men to live a fulfilling life with strong meaning ful relationships and stay out of the victim trap So if you're ready to level up your relationship game and cultivate deeper, more authentic connections, tune in and join us on this journey of self-discovery and growth.
    Relaxed Male 2019-2024
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Episodes
  • 3 Instances of You Get What You Give

    3 Instances of You Get What You Give
    May 2 2024
    You may have heard me talk about how our minds are like computers. You get out what you put in. There are many instances of this from getting respect you have to first give respect. If you want peace in your life you have to first give peace. Our Bodies are also like that Are you in shape or are you an example of soft living? Do you eat nothing but vegetables or are you an omnivour? Do you exercise? Do you lift heavy objects and throw them around your yard? What you are doing and how you feel has a bit to do with what you are powering your body with. Some men do like to power their body with cigarettes and coffee and while that will work for a while it won't be long till you have problems with what you are putting in. Now. do you go to the extremes and be Mr. Healthnut? No Moderation is the key. Our projects are like that. Are you putting time effort and money into your projects or are you just doing some stuff hoping that it will eventually take off? If you aren't putting the needed effort into your project they will not reward you with the desired outcome. Our relationships are also like that Do you want kids that are happy to see you? How about a marriage where the wife is happy to see you? When the kids go to bed is she happy to get undressed for you? What are you putting into the relationship> are you putting a lot of self-defeating thoughts or are you bringing good healthy masculine energy to the relationship? We often come home and proceed to sit on the couch and watch television. Yet what would your relationship be like if you were to become interested in your wife's world? All of our relationships are like these. Now are we to act like women when we meet each other? No, we are men but we have to contribute to the relationship for it to grow. Yes we do have those long-time friends whom we see each other and we can pick up right where we left off but many more require care and diligence to nurture and grow. Links Get a New Podcast App Summary The main premise of this episode is examining the principle of "you get what you give" and how it manifests in different areas of our lives. The host, Brian, a certified men's coach, discusses three key examples where men often fail to put in enough effort or quality "inputs", resulting in poor "outputs" or undesirable results. The first example is our bodies. Brian explains that our bodies function like computers - the inputs (thoughts, beliefs, actions) determine the outputs (health, weight, energy levels). If we feed our bodies junk food and have negative self-talk, we'll get poor physical results. He cautions against going to extremes like strict veganism or carnivorism, as moderation is healthier. The words we tell ourselves about our bodies become self-fulfilling. The second example is our projects, goals, and aspirations. Many men don't put in the consistent, devoted effort and problem-solving required for their passions or dreams to truly take off. We hope for success with minimal work, but it doesn't happen that way. Brian stresses facing the mental obstacles and unhelpful thoughts that hold us back from applying ourselves fully to our desired endeavors. The third key area is our relationships - romantic, familial, and friendships. The quality of energy, nurturing, love, curiosity, and work we put into our relationships is exactly what gets reflected back to us. Putting in sarcasm, criticism, neglect, and lack of communication breeds problems and disconnect. Unresolved conflicts pile up, leading to roommate-like situations lacking intimacy. However, nurturing with love, open communication, and true effort yields loving, fulfilling relationships. For struggling relationships, Brian advises doubling down on efforts through vulnerable communication, curiosity about your partner's inner experience, and doing the inner self-work. For career struggles, working on fostering good professional relationships is key. The overarching solution is to put high-quality "inputs" or effort into the four pillars of life: body, mind, community, and soul. Our thoughts ultimately create our reality, so being mindful of our self-talk and inputs is crucial. Brian offers his discounted one-on-one coaching services to help men identify their ideal dream life and make a plan to put in consistent inputs across the key life areas to ultimately get their desired outputs and results. The main takeaway is that the quality of what we get out of our health, goals, and relationships is a direct reflection of the quality and quantity of what we put into those areas through our thoughts, beliefs, actions, and efforts. Applying this "you get what you give" principle is key to transforming one's life experience. 00:00:00 Introduction 00:03:42 The Three Spaces 00:07:35 Body and Mind 00:12:22 Nurturing Relationships 00:18:47 Input Equals Output 00:21:39 Putting in Effort 00:23:24 Closing Words
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    24 mins
  • The Power of Living Life Intentionally

    The Power of Living Life Intentionally
    Apr 25 2024

    With much of life, we can either float down the river of life or we can steer our life to where we want to go. The difference is that when we use intention we get closer to where we want to go sooner than if we just drift.

    Lack of intention is where you hope you arrive at your desired destination. You are just going through life and often unintentional people come across as if they are asleep and don't put much thought into why they are doing what they are doing. They often will find these people blaming external events and not that they had any hand in creating the results they are facing. People who are going through life with emotional childhood are living life unintentionally. They see emotions as things that just happen and don't want to apply the fact that your thoughts create your emotions.

    What is living with intention?

    Deciding how you are going respond behave approach any circumstance ahead of time.

    But what if you don't know?

    review your actions and make decisions

    Why we don't live with intention?

    It's scary

    We are responsible

    Where do you start?

    Start by making a decisions

    Then plan out how you are going to reach those results

    Take action

    Take the Next Step

    Get coaching for 95% off

    Summary

    The episode is about the power of intention and living life intentionally rather than just drifting through life without direction or purpose. The main points covered are:

    1. What happens when we lack intention in life - We end up like a boat without a rudder, just floating aimlessly and likely crashing into things or running aground. Many people live this unintentional life, making decisions without much thought, and ending up broke or unhappy.
    2. Benefits of intentional living - When we live with intention, consciously deciding how we want to live and behave, we can steer our lives in the direction we want rather than being at the mercy of circumstances.
    3. Examples of intentionality are deciding ahead of time how you want to be as a parent, how to react when your teenager scratches the car, and choosing a career path thoughtfully rather than defaulting to something.
    4. Challenges of intentionality - It requires taking responsibility for our choices and actions. Many avoid this because it's easier to just drift than make hard decisions.
    5. How to live intentionally - Examine your life, decide how you want to live, set goals aligned with that vision, and take active steps every day towards those goals. Course-correct when you fail to live up to your intentions.
    6. The alternative of unintentional living - Living reactively, spending frivolously, blaming others/systems for your circumstances. Ending up broke, unhappy or crashing against the metaphorical shore.

    ( 00:00 ) Introduction to The Relaxed Male
    ( 02:18) The Power of Intention
    ( 00:02:53 ) Understanding Intentionality in Life
    ( 00:06:37 ) The Impact of Intention on Life's Path
    ( 00:07:43 ) Being Intentional as a Parent
    ( 00:09:40 ) Consequences of Unintentional Actions
    ( 00:14:31 ) Overcoming Fear of Intentionality
    ( 00:16:59 ) Making Decisions for Intentional Living
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    21 mins
  • Where Did The Spark Go?

    Where Did The Spark Go?
    Apr 18 2024

    In relationships, we often will slide into a form of comfort routine that is called the Roommate Syndrome

    The Roommate Syndrome Where sparks go to smolder.

    Why does this happen?

    past disagreements

    It is easier

    Rejection free

    How to rekindle the spark

    Know what the roommate syndrome is about.

    Start with the end in mind

    Much like the word rekindle you have to use kindling Kindling is a small flammable material that you can use to grow an ember into a bonfire.

    It starts with the small stuff

    Rediscover the silly you

    95% Off Coaching Offer

    Summary

    Here is a detailed summary of the key points from this podcast episode:

    The episode discusses the "roommate syndrome" that can happen in marriages, where the spark and passion fades over time. The host, Brian, explains that this happens because of our unintentional thoughts and mindsets over the course of a long-term relationship.

    He notes that as couples get older, their sexual frequency and intensity naturally declines compared to when they were younger. This can lead to feelings of disconnection and the "roommate syndrome" setting in, where the relationship feels more like living with a roommate than an intimate partner.

    The host explains that this happens for a few key reasons:

    1. Women tend to be more mentally/emotionally oriented when it comes to sex, needing more foreplay and mental preparation, compared to men who are more physically/visually driven. As life demands increase for women, sex can become lower on the priority list.
    3. Couples stop making the effort to reconnect and be playful/adventurous like they did when dating. Avoiding difficult conversations about the lack of intimacy also contributes to the problem.
    5. Men become afraid of rejection when consistently turned down for sex, so they stop initiating and turn to less fulfilling outlets like porn.

    The host emphasizes the importance of open communication between partners to find solutions. This may involve compromises, exploring new ways of being intimate, and rediscovering the playfulness the couple had early in the relationship. He encourages men to focus on becoming the best version of themselves, which can reignite their wife's interest.

    Overall, the episode highlights how the "roommate syndrome" is a common issue, but one that can be overcome through intentional effort, communication, and rediscovering the fun and silliness that used to characterize the relationship.
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    32 mins
Social Sciences Personal Success Relationships
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