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The Raw Vegan Bible

Detoxify Your Body and Achieve a Higher Level of Consciousness with Raw Vegan Foods!
Narrated by: Matt Stone
Length: 22 mins
Categories: Comedy, Satire
2 out of 5 stars (26 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

Perfect Skin. Perfect Health. Perfect Life.

It's a proven fact that people who eat a raw vegan diet live longer, never age, and make approximately a million dollars or more each year (eat more greens, make more green). Now you, too, can learn the secrets of the perfect human diet in The Raw Vegan Bible by esteemed author (and super cool musician), Dr. David "Greens" Connor. Learn why enzymes are the key to increasing vitality and raising your Kundalini energy. Discover the secrets of superfoods and begin to have super poop (yes, it's true, you'll even get more comfortable with your poop after listening to this audiobook!).

SAD is Sad

The Standard American Diet is killing us all, as evidenced by the death of the author's elderly grandfather. If only he had known to eat a 100 percent raw vegan diet, he could have lived forever. So which will you choose? Chicken nuggets and cancer or kale and perfect health? The choice here should be obvious, but if it's not yet clear, "Greens" gives some excellent examples in the book of people who have healed from all sorts of unpleasant diseases by just eating raw.

Zebras Don't Cook and Neither Should You

Ever wonder why wild animals never get degenerative diseases? It's because they don't have stoves! Our hands were designed to pluck fruit off of trees, not to hold a spatula. Get back to nature and discover the glowing abundance available to you when you eschew all of the food all of the people around you are eating. (I mean, come on, you don't really want to look like them, do you?) The Raw Vegan Bible will teach you the way of perfect health, so you can be in alignment with all the other species on the planet. No more fire for you, you caveman. Humans have evolved.

©2014, 2015 Sarah Haydock, Joey Lott (P)2014, 2015 Sarah Haydock, Joey Lott

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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    1 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars

Worthless. This book just makes fun of the vegan lifestyle.

The whole point of this book is to make fun of anyone who honestly wants to learn about this diet. It's a waste of money and time. I also found it was offensive.

8 people found this helpful

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    4 out of 5 stars

It was a hoax! I wasted my money! No disclaimer!

What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?

If it were a real, genuine book.

What did you like best about this story?

Have to give him an S for SARCASM.

Any additional comments?

There needs to be a disclaimer on hoax type books like this so that people don't waste their money thinking it's a normal book. It was a 15 minute long sarcastic joke. A bit upset that I wasted my time and money on this.

7 people found this helpful

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this book was not good at all

waist of a credit I'm glad I didn't spend money on the item. wish I could bet my credit back.

5 people found this helpful

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What the Heck?

What disappointed you about The Raw Vegan Bible?

It was a waste of a Audible Credit.

Has The Raw Vegan Bible turned you off from other books in this genre?

Not Vegan...but yes, if it's false satire.

How could the performance have been better?

The reader (Matt Stone) was fine, the content was a waste of time

If you could play editor, what scene or scenes would you have cut from The Raw Vegan Bible?

I'd change the title. It was misleading

Any additional comments?

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. My bad for looking only at the title and thinking it was a Vegan Book; A book that could help me learn how to implement a Vegan lifestyle to improve my health. Had I read what the book was about, then I wouldn't have wasted my time or money. Note to Self: PEOPLE WILL MISLEAD YOU TO GET YOU TO BUY THEIR BOOKS-BASED ON THE TITLE. MAKE SURE TO READ THE INFORMATION ABOUT THE BOOK.

3 people found this helpful

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    1 out of 5 stars

Dont listen to this

It's making fun of those who are trying to make themselves healthier and it's sad.

1 person found this helpful

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Fake Book

This book's purpose is to take money from people seriously interested in something just to waste their time and mock ands insult them.

1 person found this helpful

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HORRIBLE JOKE. THIS IS NOT THE BOOK 😡 DO NOT BUY

the writer is just playing a joke on everyone. first I thought it was just the opening chapter but that's all there is. it's just a huge satire or joke. there's no book here. what a waste of time and money.

1 person found this helpful

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    1 out of 5 stars

this book is not good as it says. it is opposite

bull shit. this book is not good as it says. it is opposite
raw food is always good

1 person found this helpful

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Horrible

Don't waste your money! Author says the same things over and over and his, "diet" is not realistic

1 person found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars

deep stomach laugh

OMG I thoroughly enjoyed this book I purchased it to learn more about the vegan lifestyle raw lifestyle and I've been reading other things as well so when I heard this it was immediately apparent that it was a spoof it was so hysterical I was trying to put food away in my kitchen and I had to stop and keep laughing just stop and hold my stomach and crack up laughing thank you so much for this book it was really funny you did a great job Iris Jessup

1 person found this helpful

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  • Bryony
  • 12-26-15

Awful

Insulting and not funny. A real disappointment. Although, my fault for not realising it was satire before buying. Oops.

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  • Anonymous User
  • 09-11-19

Amateur / cult-like

I didn't even finish this book.
He talks on him curing cancer and leading people to win the Olympics and nobel prizes without any hard evidence.
He then tells you that he's 100, looks 25, regularly visit a the garden of Eden and that you shouldn't be friends with anyone but other raw vegans.

This book explains no real health, cognitive, or "higher-consciousness" benefits and I have wasted my money and time.
Don't be like me.

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 09-05-19

do not buy. terrible info.

should be removed from audible. not a book.
lacks ANY decent information. A real pity. first half is a joke.... literally.