The Power of Showing Up

How Parental Presence Shapes Who Our Kids Become and How Their Brains Get Wired

By: Daniel J. Siegel MD, Tina Payne Bryson PhD

Narrated by: Daniel J. Siegel MD, Tina Payne Bryson PhD

Length: 7 hrs and 27 mins

Publisher's summary

Parenting isn’t easy. Showing up is. Your greatest impact begins right where you are. Now, the best-selling authors of The Whole-Brain Child and No-Drama Discipline explain what this means over the course of childhood.

"There is parenting magic in this book." (Michael Thompson, PhD, co-author of the New York Times best-selling classic Raising Cain)

One of the very best scientific predictors for how any child turns out - in terms of happiness, academic success, leadership skills, and meaningful relationships - is whether at least one adult in their life has consistently shown up for them. In an age of scheduling demands and digital distractions, showing up for your child might sound like a tall order. But as best-selling authors Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson reassuringly explain, it doesn’t take a lot of time, energy, or money. Instead, showing up means offering a quality of presence. And it’s simple to provide once you understand the four building blocks of a child’s healthy development. Every child needs to feel what Siegel and Bryson call the Four S's:

• Safe: We can’t always insulate a child from injury or avoid doing something that leads to hurt feelings. But when we give a child a sense of safe harbor, she will be able to take the needed risks for growth and change.
• Seen: Truly seeing a child means we pay attention to his emotions - both positive and negative - and strive to attune to what’s happening in his mind beneath his behavior.
• Soothed: Soothing isn’t about providing a life of ease; it’s about teaching your child how to cope when life gets hard, and showing him that you’ll be there with him along the way. A soothed child knows that he’ll never have to suffer alone.
• Secure: When a child knows she can count on you, time and again, to show up - when you reliably provide safety, focus on seeing her, and soothe her in times of need, she will trust in a feeling of secure attachment. And thrive!

Based on the latest brain and attachment research, The Power of Showing Up shares stories, scripts, simple strategies, and tips for honoring the Four S’s effectively in all kinds of situations - when our kids are struggling or when they are enjoying success; when we are consoling, disciplining, or arguing with them; and even when we are apologizing for the times we don’t show up for them. Demonstrating that mistakes and missteps are repairable and that it’s never too late to mend broken trust, this audiobook is a powerful guide to cultivating your child’s healthy emotional landscape.

This audiobook includes a downloadable PDF of the Refrigerator Sheet, a summary of the Four S’s to remember in forming secure attachments.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2020 Daniel J. Siegel, Tina Payne Bryson (P)2020 Random House Audio

Critic reviews

"Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson have spun a miracle - The Power of Showing Up is the ultimate guide to family reconnection. Clear, profound, and charmingly-illustrated, it unravels the challenges of modern parenting and reveals the simple truths about what children really need from the adults in their lives." (Wendy Mogel, PhD, New York Times best-selling author of The Blessing of a Skinned Knee and The Blessing of a B Minus)

"Parenting at this moment in time and at today’s pace feels hard. But that makes it all that much more important that we try to simplify the process of parenting and not put quite so much pressure on our own parenting shoulders. The Power of Showing Up will help you do just that. Siegel and Payne Bryson are master teachers when it comes to helping parents react and respond to kids in ways that communicate 'I hear you.' They articulate and quantify how to make your parenting easier - and better!" (Christine Carter, PhD, author of Raising Happiness)

"Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson have written their best book yet - and that is saying a lot. They have distilled their parenting wisdom - based on neuroscience research and a deep empathy for children’s needs - into a profound concept: showing up. It is one of those great ideas that seems so obvious - but only after someone has shown it to you and spelled it out clearly. Best of all, Siegel and Payne Bryson 'show up' for the reader of this book. They know parents, know their fears and anxieties, hopes and dreams, and they provide an accessible path to seeing and soothing children and providing them with safety and security." (Lawrence J. Cohen, PhD, author of Playful Parenting)

For the imperfect parent like me

I'm a father of fraternal twin toddlers fumbling my way through evolving personalities, wants and challenges - praying not to screw up. This audiobook is the first I’m hearing from these authors and, aside from Janet Landsbury's No Bad Kids, is thankfully one without over explanations. With so many do's and don'ts to remember, if there’s one thing I can get right from the start, it’s showing up. But it’s much more than that. Wonderful book and now listening to their Yes Brain. Try 1.1x speed.

What I didn’t know

Has opened my eyes and mind to what I didn’t learn or receive in my own childhood.

Parenting 102

Taking parenting beyond the surface and into the emotional growth of our children, and ourselves.

Packed with gold nuggets of parenting wisdom.

Packed with gold nuggets of parenting wisdom. A must-read for every parent. As a first-time parent, this was an eye-opener for me. Love the idea of P.E.A.C.E.

Best parenting book ever!!

From someone who doesn’t have the best childhood experience to draw from… this book was so helpful to find better ways to parent. Great examples and stories that made it easy to digest and practice.

Life changing

For parents of children all ages, seeking to improve their most important relationship. This is solid gold.

Helpful, but didn’t need to be a book.

The first two chapters of this book made it worth buying. Very insightful and incredibly helpful. However, past chapter two, it feels repetitive of their other books and much to long to be a book. This really could’ve been one excellent podcast and then done. For me, the last few chapters were unnecessary and long-winded. Additionally, the authors did a great job with the narration.

The manual that should come with every child!

As someone who has devoted many years to child development in various ways and provides therapeutic approaches to aid integration and healing both the self and relationships, I am so very grateful for this book and all the work both authors have invested. The balance this book strikes between encouraging reflective parenting and challenging acculturated habits is, itself, therapeutic and empowering. But, as a relatively new grandmother, I want to personally thank both authors from the bottom of my heart!! It is a wonderful support for us as grandparents to be able to supportively show up for our children as they struggle with the challenges of parenting!!

Years ago, a great teacher of mine told me that my uniqueness was the most precious gift God has or will ever give me. He said that my duty in response to such a gift is to explore it, develop it, and exploit it. These authors seem to have found their unique calling, have honed it remarkably well, and have exploited it for the benefit of all. What is most endearing to me is that by doing so they have inspired the rest of us to do the same.

Good read

It would be good to have a hard copy because there’s a lot of info. But also a lot of repetition which is great for an audiobook

Great information

The narration was a little ‘dry’ at times but was still easy to listen to and follow. I liked how it combined information from previous books into one. It helped to clarify.