The Myths of Happiness

What Should Make You Happy, but Doesn't, What Shouldn't Make You Happy, but Does

By: Sonja Lyubomirsky

Narrated by: Kathy Keane

Length: 7 hrs and 29 mins

Publisher's Summary

Happiness expert Sonja Lyubomirsky’s research-based lessons in how to find opportunity in life’s thorniest moments.

In The Myths of Happiness, Sonja Lyubomirsky isolates the major turning points of adult life, looking to both achievements (marriage, children, professional satisfaction, wealth) and failures (singlehood, divorce, financial ruin, illness) to reveal that our misconceptions about the impact of such events is perhaps the greatest threat to our long-term well-being.

Lyubomirsky argues that we have been given false promises - myths that assure us that lifelong happiness will be attained once we hit the culturally confirmed markers of adult success. This restricted view of happiness works to discourage us from recognizing the upside of any negative life turn and blocks us from recognizing our own growth potential. Our outsized expectations transform natural rites of passage into emotional land mines and steer us to make toxic decisions, as The Myths of Happiness reveals.

Because we expect the best (or the worst) from life's turning points, we shortsightedly place too much weight on our initial emotional responses. The Myths of Happiness empowers listeners to look beyond their first response, sharing scientific evidence that often it is our mindset - not our circumstances - that matters. Central to these findings is the notion of hedonic adaptation, the fact that people are far more adaptable than they think. Even after a major life change - good or bad - we tend to return to our initial happiness level, forgetting what once made us elated or why we felt that life was so unbearable.

The Myths of Happiness offers the perspective we need to make wiser choices, sharing how to slow the effects of this adaptation after a positive turn and find the way forward in a time of darkness.

In The Myths of Happiness, Sonja Lyubomirsky turns an empirical eye to the biggest, messiest moments, providing listeners with the clear-eyed vision they need to build the healthiest, most satisfying life. A corrective course on happiness and a call to regard life's twists and turns with a more open mind, The Myths of Happiness shares practical lessons with life-changing potential.

©2013 Sonja Lyubomirsky (P)2013 Penguin Audio

Critic Reviews

"In this thought-provoking volume, Lyubomirsky...examines happiness and conventional notions about how it's nurtured in relationships, at work, and in one's own psyche...Lyubomirsky demonstrates that positively reframing life events can mine the best out of even the darkest situations. Provocative and fresh." (Publishers Weekly)

"Informative and engaging.... The author examines how the 'shoulds' of happiness not only undermine well-being, but also make it hard for individuals to cope with the sometimes difficult realities of adulthood." (Kirkus Reviews)

"No matter what your personal world is like, The Myths of Happiness will change the way you approach your daily life. Lyubomirsky's thorough research and practical solutions will not only add joy and contentment to your life, but will also allow you to take on issues that you may have been sweeping under the rug for too long." (Woodbury Magazine)

A different take on a timeless subject

Definitely worth a listen. As a self-help book junkie, I listen quite frequently to books in this vein. This one manages to break the mold, and provides a lot of straightforward advice that I hadn't encountered in the dozens of other books on the subject. Insightful, no-nonsense, and surprising at times, it's far more useful than the others with the inevitable "start a gratitude journal/do something once a day that scares you" tumblr-meme level advice.

If you're looking for something more analytical regarding how life-contentment works, this is a great one to pick up.

Good Practical Advice

This book provides a refreshing new vantage point on the major turning points of adult life: marriage, children, career, wealth. It also shows new strategies for dealing with life’s failures: singlehood, divorce, financial problems, illness, etc. The author reveals some major misconceptions about the impact good and bad events will have on long-term well-being.

Lyubomirsky argues that the path-of-life narrative we all learned is simply not realistic. We’ve all been assured that happiness and fulfillment will be attained once we hit the culturally anointed markers of success.

The good news is that the research shows that things typically work out better than you might think. People who don’t find their soulmate, live on tight budgets, experience serious health challenges, and don’t attain career success still have pretty great lives. It’s usually our expectations that make us miserable, not the actual circumstances of the situation.

In the book she draws on research to reveal new insights on how the big events of life typically play out. The highs will not be as rapturous as we think and the lows will not be as disappointing.

I found this to be a very practical book with solid strategies and new insights into the best ways to make life’s disappointments less painful and life’s successes more long lasting.

Completely Mind Blowing

I love the contents of the book so much I think it should be required for every single person on the planet to read. Please listen to it everybody. You'll be so much happier than you think you could ever be!

Couldn't Get into This

Tried reading this with a book club and we all disliked it. It made us feel bad about ourselves and so we stopped reading it. Most of what I found in the first few chapters seemed like common knowledge being treated like new epiphany and that didn't help.

Great book

I study Positive Psychology so it was really great reading this book because it’s so into all the concepts and ideas of PP.
But even if are just a little interested in recent studies on happiness, just read this with and opened heart. It might change the way you see things.

Please read this book.

Really changes your personal perspective of life. Gives you great advice that is backed up by science. Not a bunch of useless jargon. Seriously, it’s worth the read.

good but not 100 for me

struggled to finish but was still interesting to the first half then just wast for me after

Great book at intersection of theory and wonderful

loved everything about this book. I was led to the author by several other sources. Great reader. Just very practical recommendations. Much better than the other books in the Sea of theoretical self-help happiness genre.

Happiness

Perspective brings it down to earth. Reality and our peceptions. A good read when you've lost your way in this over scheduled busy world.

Very informative

book is very informative and sheds a lot of light on our conditioning and what we perceive as happiness I love the fact that a lot of the information that is given and a lot of the opinions are given art stated at that moment as it's just an opinion or these are scientific facts and that these are merely suggestions and not a recipe for happiness but a guide