We are all pretty average on recalling events, people’s names, locations, sequences, inanimate objects, etc., but we are geniuses on remembering feelings. We are especially good on how people made us feel and what super memories we have developed in this particular department. Business is deemed to be logical – cool, balanced, unswerving on the road to greater efficiencies. Ironically, we are such emotional beings trying to be detached, but we are usually not very good at it though.

Ever find yourself still chewing over some ancient injustice? Something doesn’t arrive on time or in the right format and we have that chemical reaction that is triggered by the emotions of anger, disappointment, fear or frustration. People say something trying to be funny or witty but we take it badly. We instantly feel insulted, embarrassed, hurt, mortified or humiliated. There are some basic principles of successful human relations we forget at our peril.

“Don’t criticize, condemn or complain” is an all weather wonder. Let’s resist the urge to correct others, to tell them off, to bring their personal failings to their attention immediately. It is not a cure that works well and in fact just builds pig-headed resistance, as the guilty party seeks to justify their dubious actions.

“Let the other person save face” is a handy principle to keep in mind in public situations. Not everyone is quick, elegant or urbane and some people seem to invite correction, but let’s resist that urge. Just because they may not obviously react should be cold comfort. Remember to beware the dog that doesn’t bark.

“Show respect for the other person’s opinion. Never say you are wrong”. Even if you feel they are so totally incorrect it is barely fathomable. Restrain yourself from leaping in and pointing out they are an idiot.

“The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it”. Incredibly, even people in sales forget this sage advice and want to argue with the client. We might win the battle over the point of contention, but we will lose the war over the long term. Maya Angelou summed it up brilliantly:

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel”. So how do you make people feel? Apply these principles and let life get easier.

The Master of Ceremony (MC) goes to the microphone to get the programme underway but the audience are simply oblivious, caught up in their own riveting conversations. The situation is much worse at receptions where alcohol is already flowing and the people down the back are generating a roar, a positive din, that drowns out the speakers.

Here are seven ideas that will shut down the noisy rabble and provide a proper platform for the speaker to be heard.

1. Make sure to turn off the background music well before you are ready to start. Surprisingly, this is often forgotten by the organisers. Speakers should not try to compete with irritating white noise in the background.

1. Preferably always have someone else introduce you. Their job is to quiet the room in preparation for your presentation. This doesn't always go to plan though, because it can be a lucky draw on who introduces you. Be ready to take over if you need to, in order to restore some decorum.

1. Don’t allow the podium to dominate you

If you worry about speaking behind high podiums and appearing to your audience as a stylish coiffure just peaking above the water line, always arrive early and have the event staff provide a small raised dais behind the podium for you. Even better, dismiss the podium altogether, because now we can use our body language to maximum effect.

1. Voice projection is key for cutting through crowd noise.Today’s microphone technology is very good, so you don’t need to have a stentorian voice to be heard. However, placing the microphone too close to your mouth creates dissonance, making it harder to hear you. Mysteriously, some speakers have the opposite problem and hold the microphone so low that there is almost no sound being heard. I saw a guy the other day wrap his entire hand around the microphone mesh – don’t do that if you want to be heard.

1. Use Pauses. When you face a challenging noisy crowd, make sure to hit the first few words very hard. To get things going, start with a strong “Ladies and Gentlemen” with power invested into the first word and remember to draw that first word out slightly (Ladieeeeees). Elongate it for effect but don’t overdo it . Now include a small pause before a strong finish to the phrase. Like this: “Ladies and Gentlemen”

1. I have seen speakers using assorted cutlery to bang on a glass, to create a chime that signals it is time to “shut up everyone and listen”. It works, however, one word of warning - don’t speak while pounding. Get their attention then speak.
2. Similarly, you can also use powerful music to drown out the crowd’s babble and make them listen to what is coming next. Just a short piece will do, as it signals action is about to commence and people will switch their gaze to you at the front of the room. After the music ends, again use a slight pause and then start.

To be heard above the din, remember: turn off the BGM well before you start; have someone else quiet the room for you; don’t allow the podium to dominate you; practice with the microphones, so that you know the correct distance and angle of elevation to use; hit the first word hard and elongate it slightly; use pauses – they add power to the speaker; if you strike a glass to produce a crowd-quieting chime, don’t speak while pounding; a short burst of music can silence an audience and clear the way for you to start speaking

Usually this isn’t even a question for most presenters, because the organisers have already set up the room when you arrive. Our speaking spot has been designated for us. But have we been designated a spot by experts in public speaking or by the venue crew who usually just haul chairs, lug tables around and set up the stage? Sadly the coalescence between expertise in public speaking and membership of the logistics team is rare.

So where should we stand? This will depend on the venue size, the illumination of the room, the size of the audience, the layout of the stage, where the screens are located and what you want to achieve.

If we are using a screen, then is it hoisted high above us, are there two giant screens on the left and right or is it at our height in the center of the stage? In smaller venues, the screen is normally at our height and usually set up such that the podium is on the audience right of the stage. No particular thought has gone into this location and the choice is purely random, often linked more closely to power outlets and cabling considerations, than the speaker’s effectiveness.

Stand on the audience left of the screen, so that the audience can read your facial expression and body language and then move their eyes right to read text or images on the screen. We read left to right, so this is a natural progression. We always want the screen to be subordinate to us. So set the proceedings up such that they have to look at you first, rather than at the slides on the screen. Our face is a trillion times more powerful as a communication tool, than anything that is on that screen.

If there are giant screens above, then the chances are the venue is pretty large and the stage will be quite wide. Rather than being stuck in one place, work the stage area. I don’t mean nervous, fidgety, random pacing across the stage as I have seen done by many amateur presenters. I mean move right to the very apron of the stage and to the extremes of left and right to engage with all of your audience.

Start in the middle of a large stage, as close as you can get to your audience. Remember, that to those seated at the back or up on the first, second or third tiers of seating, you are the size of a peanut. Yes, they have the giant screens but try to bring your physical presence as close to your audience as you can, to create a closer connection.

Move slowly to the extreme left and then stop. Now we can engage everyone on this side of the room. After a few minutes move slowly back to the center and stop. Now move slowly across to the extreme right and stop. Then slowly back to the center, by which time it will be getting very close to your peroration.

To be an effective speaker, we need to include consideration of the best logistics needed to support our efforts. Don’t rely on the clueless to prepare the venue properly, instead have a clue ourselves and always be in command of our environment.