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The Housewife Assassin's Handbook
- The Housewife Assassin, Book 1
- Narrated by: Melissa Moran
- Length: 5 hrs and 59 mins
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From Janet Evanovich, author of the best selling Stephanie Plum bounty hunter series, comes this romantic adventure tale written in the Plum tradition, teeming with fast-paced action, dysfunctional loveable characters, steamy sex, suspense, and lots of laughs.
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It's not Plum but it's a good story.
- By Brenda on 02-08-03
By: Janet Evanovich
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Crash
- By: Nicole Williams
- Narrated by: Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 9 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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A steamy summer encounter with bad boy Jude means trouble for Lucy. Her sights are set on becoming a ballerina, and she won't let anything get in her way...except Jude. He's got a rap sheet, dangerous mood swings, and a name that's been sighed, shouted, and cursed by who knows how many girls. Jude's a cancer, the kind of guy who's fated to ruin the lives of girls like Lucy - and he tells her so. But as rumors run rampant and reputations are destroyed, Lucy's not listening to Jude's warning.
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Jude! He has just reached Kellan status!
- By Candateshia Pafford on 06-10-13
By: Nicole Williams
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Mr. Perfect
- By: Linda Howard
- Narrated by: Laura Hicks
- Length: 10 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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What would make the perfect man? That's the deliciously racy topic that Jaine Bright and her three girlfriends are pondering one night at their favorite after-hours hot spot: Mr. Perfect. Would he be tall, dark, and handsome? Caring and warmhearted - or will just muscular do? As their conversation heats up, they concoct a tongue-in-cheek checklist that becomes an overnight sensation, spreading like wildfire at work and sizzling along email lines. But what began as a joke among friends turns deadly serious when one of the four women is murdered....
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I LOVED LOVED the two main characters
- By AudioAddict on 02-27-16
By: Linda Howard
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Jack of Hearts
- Aces & Eights, Book 1
- By: Sandra Owens
- Narrated by: Amy McFadden, Sebastian York
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Alex Gentry doesn't scare easily. Working as an undercover FBI agent in the biker bar he and his brothers co-own, he hangs with deadly criminals in order to gather information. Danger is just part of the family business. But one thing has him terrified: his attraction to Madison Parker. Madison is the cousin of Ramon Alonzo, son and second in command to a notorious drug lord Alex is trying to bust. Alex has befriended Ramon as part of his cover, and Madison has unknowingly become his informant. Falling for her could risk this case - and both their lives.
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Sadly This Wasn't For Me... 😥
- By Cheri on 02-26-17
By: Sandra Owens
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Heartbreaker
- Buchanan-Renard-MacKenna, Book 1
- By: Julie Garwood
- Narrated by: Tanya Eby
- Length: 13 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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In the still shadows of the confessional, a madman tauntingly reveals his plan for a murder he is going to commit, pulling Father Thomas Madden into a twisted game by disclosing his next intended victim: Tom's sister, Laurant. In a frantic race to protect her, Tom calls upon his best friend, elite FBI agent Nick Buchanan, to track the predator who is closing in on Laurant. Now, as an electrifying attraction grows between Laurant and Nick, so does the danger - and one false move will cost both of them everything that matters.
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No struggle here.
- By Tom on 04-09-16
By: Julie Garwood
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Dangerous Race
- By: Dee J. Adams
- Narrated by: Eve Bianco
- Length: 14 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Four years ago, race car driver Tracey Bradshaw almost died in a horrific crash. Now scarred inside and out, she's making a comeback, but her team is plagued by a series of "accidents."
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Good
- By Leesa on 07-10-13
By: Dee J. Adams
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Unbreakable Bond
- Jamie Bond, Book 1
- By: Gemma Halliday, Jennifer Fischetto
- Narrated by: Julia Motyka
- Length: 6 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Jamie Bond is a former cover model who switches gears to take over the family business: The Bond Agency, a high-powered P.I. firm located in Los Angeles that specializes in domestic espionage - catching cheating husbands. Jamie's assembled a team of other disenchanted former models to help her take names and kick derrieres among L.A.'s wealthiest philandering husbands.
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Loved this fun and enjoyable audiobook
- By Cntruman on 03-06-15
By: Gemma Halliday, and others
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Single Dad's Virgin
- A Fake Marriage Romance
- By: Penelope Bloom
- Narrated by: William LeRoy, Minnie Atwood
- Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Housekeeper for a stunningly handsome, male-model billionaire? Yep, that’s my job and it’s as dreamy as it sounds. I get to live in his ridiculously huge mansion, and all I have to do is take care of his mom and daughter, who are practically family. To top it off, the notoriously bossy Mr. King has been away for business since I started. But he came home today. Liam King looks like he stepped out of a GQ magazine, and the way he undresses me with his eyes should be illegal. He ignites my body. Every part of it. But It doesn’t matter how tempting he is. I can’t have him.
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Great book
- By Donna on 06-28-19
By: Penelope Bloom
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The One You Want
- The Original Heartbreakers, Book 0.5
- By: Gena Showalter
- Narrated by: Savannah Richards
- Length: 4 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Kenna Starr will do anything to overcome her bad-girl past in Gena Showalter's The One You Want. Dane Michaelson is rich, sexy and plays hard, exactly the kind of guy she needs to avoid, but he's used to getting what he wants, and he wants her.
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The one you DON'T want
- By SIMARA on 05-13-15
By: Gena Showalter
What listeners say about The Housewife Assassin's Handbook
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Judy C
- 09-28-14
Quick Quips and Sarcastic Humor
At some point in time, I remember seeing the cover of this book and it peaking my interest. I honestly don't remember where or when, but it's familiar. And the title struck a cord with me, The Housewife Assassin. It just sounds intriguing, no? That's why when I saw it on Audiobook Jukebox I just knew I had to give it a chance and at only about 6 hours long, it went by very quickly.
Donna Stone is a housewife and mother. She has three children, lives in a very exclusive gated community in southern California, manages the house and her kids very busy lives. Maybe not as well as some of the other Mommies in the carpool, but then again, they don't have to worry about clean up after torturing information out of an arms dealer and trying to make it on time to pick up the kids from after school. Yes, Donna is a covert agent for ACME, a government sanctioned agency that handles black ops. She became an agent after finding out that her husband was an agent and was killed while she was in the hospital giving birth to their third child. After a couple of months, his boss had to give her the bad news that his paychecks and benefits were going to stop. After she shot an attempted intruder, she was offered a job. That was 5 years earlier. Donna has now become quite the assassin with 40+ kills to her credit, each one a step in the direction of taking down the rogue group that killed her beloved husband and took away the father of her children.
Believe it or not, this was a light hearted, almost slapstick thriller. Were there tense moments and scintillating action? You bet. But it was told with quick quips and sarcastic humor and kept mostly PG-13. Think of movies like Killers, This Means War or even The Spy Next Door. There were some dark moments, especially towards the end, but overall I spent more time giggling than shocked or dismayed.
Melissa Moran did a great job bringing the characters to life. The tone and inflection were spot on. I especially loved the Stepford-esque quality she gave to the Perfect Housewife Advice at the beginning of most of the chapters. The had me snorting and cackling with the over the top tips and tricks to keeping your household running smoothly while eliminating your enemies.
Overall, this was quite an enjoyable read. There were enough twists to keep me interested, and some interesting 180's that I never saw coming. The story left me satisfied, but wanting more, so 4 stars.
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57 people found this helpful
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- Lee the reader
- 03-14-15
How I Wish We Would Be Warned of Explicit Sex
Would you recommend this book to a friend? Why or why not?
I could not possibly recommend this to any of my friends, because of all the sexual mentions and sexual anatomy. I was so disappointed. There IS still a population who thinks a "lighthearted mystery" about a housewife is better without such things. I know the world has changed, but my friends and I haven't....
Did the plot keep you on the edge of your seat? How?
I stopped after about hearing - well, I can't write it. It would be considered porn if I wrote it in a review. I would have LIKED to finish the book for the plot's sake, but really. Let's just say the shock at the sexual descriptions overcame any interest I had at finding out the ending. I hate when I am blindsided by a book when the description leads me to think it is one thing and I feel it is something different. I thought it would be a fun spy novel with a housewife - doesn't that lead you to think satire? - but I guess my thoughts are different than others. Maybe I better stick to Mrs. Pollifax.
What do you think the narrator could have done better?
The narrator is good; in my mind she is lacking a little- I don't know - emotion? tempo? I have personal favorites a bit better, but she does a good job. She is good for the genre.
If this book were a movie would you go see it?
There is always so much that depends with that question it is impossible to answer. I've maybe seen about ten movies in my life they haven't wrecked from the book.
Any additional comments?
My comments are all in my first paragraphs. I cannot finish this book, because I do not like to hear about male anatomy swellings and all the things that go on in the bedroom. I always go to the reviews to see if anyone mentions these things and I did not see anything in the first few, and I didn't see anything in the descriptions that would give me an idea of this.
Now I have bought a book I have to go through the hassle of deleting and asking for a refund for which I do not like to do. Plus, I am sure no author likes to have their work "judged", so to speak, on a side topic- but if I don't put this down, other purchasers may find themselves in the same position.
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54 people found this helpful
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- kim
- 12-04-14
Unique
Any additional comments?
Yes, I would recommend this story it may be hard to believe but this was a lighthearted story with some funny scenes and some slapstick thrown in for good measure. Don't get me wrong there were some very dark moments in the book which should be expected because of the subject matter but they do not detract from the story. The plot twist changes the story dramatically and leads right into the next book. As the story progressed I really became interested in what happened to Donna and her kids. I liked the music and helpful hints at the beginning of each chalpter. I enjoyed the narrator I think she added to the lightheartedness of the audio. I am eagerly awaiting the entire series on audible. Sorry for the briefness of this review but it was hard to write without including any spoilers.
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36 people found this helpful
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- P. Welsh
- 10-26-14
Unique premise and excellent reader
Where does The Housewife Assassin's Handbook rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?
It is quirky and unique - a housewife that pays the bills by being a secret assassin and protecting the country, all the while seeking justice.
What was one of the most memorable moments of The Housewife Assassin's Handbook?
It would be a spoiler if I told exactly what, but when Donna finds out one piece of crucial information, it shakes up everything she has ever known and rocks her world to the core.
Which character – as performed by Melissa Moran – was your favorite?
Donna of course.
If you were to make a film of this book, what would the tag line be?
Protecting the world is the least of her worries.
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18 people found this helpful
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- Julie Valerie
- 02-06-15
Perfection! Enthusiastic 5-Stars
Josie Brown's accomplished skills as a writer are on display in this exciting suburban mystery. Strong central characters, compelling incident to launch the story, twists at every turn. There's humor, romance, and intrigue in this page-turning tale of a housewife-turned-assassin. While taking on the evil Quorum, Donna struggles to reconcile competing feelings of love for the man she lost and the man she found while also feeling motherly concern for the safety of her children. The whole town's involved in this delightful journey through pies, baseball, carpooling, and yes, assassins, moles, and terrorism. I will be reading/listening to every book that Josie Brown writes. Fabulous job by the narrator. Fabulous!
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15 people found this helpful
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- Kindle Customer
- 02-15-15
Very cool listen .
I truly enjoyed this listen . This book has very interesting characters. The narrator gave an awesome listening experience. The asides were delivered in such a wonderful manner. Very impressed . I went into this book with a what's this attitude and was just delighted with the delivery and storytelling .
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10 people found this helpful
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- Anne Patrick
- 11-07-14
Loved it
Would you consider the audio edition of The Housewife Assassin's Handbook to be better than the print version?
I loved the narrator and the music at the start of the chapters added to the experience. I am now reading book 2 from the series and wish it was available on audible.
Which scene was your favorite?
When she realized that Carl was not a good guy but it was hard for her to believe. Also at the end in the baseball field.
Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?
There was two moments that truly moved me. The first was when she saw Carl at the party and when she left Jack near the end of the book.
Any additional comments?
Please make the rest of the series on audible. I enjoy reading and listening to the audiobook at the same time.
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10 people found this helpful
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- Anne
- 04-10-15
What has happened to publishing...??
Hmm.. Let's see... a semi- or even marginally believable plot would have helped save this mess... maybe. This novel doesn't have one. An editor would have been nice. The third time she used the expression "I could care less" I was certain this had to be self-published.
Then, when the main character said, "He proffered me a stool in which to sit on" I was certain of it. Turns out this was published by something called "Signal Press." Good luck figuring out who they are. One may, however, assume that they don't employ editors.
The plot is a mess. Donna, our "housewife assassin" lives in an upper-class, suburban white-bread community in which there are no redeeming characters and no one has either meaningful work or fulfilling lives. Her husband Carl is dead, but not dead, then back from the dead, only not back from the dead because Carl is really Jack, but then back from the dead again and then should have just stayed dead. Then you will WISH he was dead because the plot deteriorates from there!
Meanwhile, between carpool dates she is a paid assassin for the CIA and blithely goes along killing people whom no police agency ever notices.
And the best part is, she is - bar none - the absolute WORST parent you can imagine.
Stupid plot. Stupid premises. Really bad narration. She has two voices - male and female. And if you don't listen carefully, you'll get them mixed up. And, unfortunately, they are in a pitch and nasal range that will induce bleeding from the ears.
Stupid, stupid book and any claims to humor are a lie.
OK, you're probably thinking, "Oh, c'mon, hon, be honest, What did you REALLY think of this book?"
You've been warned.
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8 people found this helpful
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- Lisa
- 03-14-15
Fun & frivolous
I don't usually listen to books in this genre but I enjoyed it.
The plot is predictable and silly but enjoyable and the characters are likable, especially Donna, even if they are stereotypical. The writing is witty but what really makes this a fun listen is the narrator (there were a few times I found myself snorting with laughter). I'll probably check out new books in the series as they come out.
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8 people found this helpful
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- James Cushman
- 05-17-15
It's fun if you can handle the grown-up scenes.
It's fun little story that's like a Bond scenario in American suburbia with a touch of romance novel here and there. I didn't stay up late to finish it but I never walked away from it. That's a good thing in my world. Narrator was a little odd on the male voices but overall an enjoyable listen.
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5 people found this helpful