The Hitman's Guide to Making Friends and Finding Love

Narrated by: Michael Ferraiuolo
Length: 10 hrs and 43 mins
Categories: Romance, LGBT
4.5 out of 5 stars (421 ratings)

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Publisher's Summary

What happens when a snarky hit man and a by-the-book PI cross paths?

Leland
Being a hit man has its perks, but I never thought getting an accidental mooning by an attractive PI while he’s caught on a fence would be one of them. While it’s not exactly love at first sight, he’s captured my interest and won’t let go.

Suddenly, I find myself caught in a game of cat and mouse, determined to attract the attention of Jackson, the PI who should be my enemy. He pretends like he’s not flattered by my flowers and the mentions of my totally-not-fictitious blow-up doll, Randy (or was it Dandy?), but I know better. Why else would he be teaming up with me to bring down Hardek, one of the city’s most ruthless criminals?

Jackson
Even though the cops are telling me that the hit man is a notorious contract killer, I can’t help but admit that I’m drawn to him. He’s funny, charismatic, and attractive. There’s no way this ridiculous man can be the person the cops are after.

But when Leland ends up at my doorstep injured, I’m faced with a tough choice. It’s my duty to hand him over to law enforcement, but my heart has other plans. I want to keep him. To protect him. To be with him.

Though one question remains: Why in the world does the man have so many d*mn guns?

Contains: shenanigans on a swing that you would not find at a playground, a car chase that sadly doesn't have flips or explosions, a horsey ride sans horse, cuddles, an exuberant mutt, a suspicious chief of police, and lots and lots of laughs.

©2019 Alice Winters (P)2019 Alice Winters

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

literal tears of laughter

Quite possibly one of the funniest books of the year, I was in literal tears of laughter listening to this narration (definitely do not listen whilst driving, you will only endanger yourself & others when you can't control your laughing). Having Leland and Jackson brought to life in my ears may just be the greatest gift I've given myself, such a joy to listen to and Michael has nailed Leland's hilariously ridiculousness and Jackson's attempt at seriousness perfectly. COULD NOT RECOMMEND MORE!

6 people found this helpful

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entertaining

Did the story keep me engaged: yes
Were there any parts I found annoying: no
Did I feel an emotional connection to the characters: yes
Would I listen to it again: yes

• Story is entertaining, dialog amusing and characters likeable. If you go into this book expecting general silliness and nothing particularly deep you won't be disappointed.
• Michael Ferraiuolo does a fantastic job on the narration, his sweet, snarky always enthusiastic Leland is spot on and Jackson comes across as the perfect straight laced PI.

Thoroughly enjoyed it.

2 people found this helpful

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A brilliant, funny, riveting listen.

Alice Winters has become an auto buy for me and each story she crafts has been superb. Hitman’s Guide is highly original, laugh out loud funny and kept me riveted from the first page.
Michael Ferraiuolo is a relatively new to me narrator and he has fast become one of my top five. His voice acting is pitch perfect and perfectly encapsulates each character.
Highly recommended!

2 people found this helpful

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Hilarious, Touching and Totally Inappropriate

I laughed aloud throughout the performance because hitman Leland has few lines he won't cross. P.I. Jackson has the misfortune to became the target of a bored hitman's interest. But Leland loves to jerk his chain and finds that Jackson is the real deal. Leland's story is actually tragic and his humor is a defense mechanism. I love Jackson because he's a good guy. The only reason for four stars is that I wish the author had reigned in Leland's ridiculousness somewhat. He is beyond crude. But this is both a mystery and a love story that works.

1 person found this helpful

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Fantastic narration and characters!

I have never read or listened to this author or narrator before and I was very happy I tried this audio book. I laughed out loud many many times while listening. This author has written complicated quirky characters ( OMG Leland is awesome!) that the narrator really hit perfectly. Just wow, he was fantastic. Book 2 is out but I'm going to wait till the audio because in this case I dont think reading it will do it justice.

1 person found this helpful

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I loved this book!!

It was so funny and the narrator was perfect! He brought both characters to life. I would recommend this book for anyone looking for a light hearted book with lots of LOL moments! I can't say enough good things about it!

1 person found this helpful

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It’s Leland’s World, You Just Live In It

First Michael bringing Leland to life was out of this world funny. Who could not LOVE Leland and Jackson are funny, steamy, loving and caring together. It’s the perfect opposites attract and age gap romance.

1 person found this helpful

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Too stupid to waste time on.

Hated it. Stupid and unbelievable characters. Dumb plot. Tried multiple times but I Could Not finish it

2 people found this helpful

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    3 out of 5 stars
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Less is more

I would have enjoyed the story more if the Leland character was written differently. His character becomes annoying very quick and makes it hard to enjoy.

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Laugh Out Loud

This is my first book narrated by Mr. Ferraiuolo, it certainly won't be the last. It's a very funny book and he brought that fun into his narration.

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  • Kindle Customer
  • 11-18-19

Be Prepared to Laugh

Alice Winters is a genius at writing gripping stories full of action, while also stuffing it full of enough humour to have you literally laughing out loud. A Hitman's Guide is a fantastic addition to her repetoire, and I was beyond excited to see it not only in audio, but narrated by the amazing Michael Ferraiuolo. The story is incredibly unique - Leland is a hitman, raised to the job from a rough childhood. He expresses himself through humour and rarely takes any situation seriously, much to Jackson's dismay. Jackson is a PI whose current case overlaps Leland's job. An unfortunate encounter with a fence exposes about more than he meant to, and draws Leland's eye and mild (ok...pretty intense) obsession. Leland uses his wiles, guns, and unflagging enthusiasm to get Jackson reluctantly on his side and hijinks ensue. Aside from the humour, an absolute stellar cast, and an enthralling plot, there is real heartfelt romance. Really a fantastic book all around. The narration done by Ferraiuolo is the literal cherry on the sundae. Because Winters gives her characters such personality I was worried the narration wouldn't match my internal voices for the characters, but Ferraiuolo managed to get it PERFECT. Leland is snarky, sweet, and fast. You really get his emotions and how much he enjoys himself, while catching glimpses of his hidden depths. Jackson is the perfect straight man to Leland, but has moments of softness as he accepts and loves Leland for who he is. The pacing is fantastic, and there are so many lines that forced me to stop so I could catch my breath laughing and made me wonder how many times the narrator had to do the same. A fantastic read only enhanced by an amazing narration!

2 people found this helpful

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  • Delano
  • 11-18-19

Very funny and Thrilling book

I really like Alice Winters style of writing and this book exhibits all her best skills. The wit, banter, drama and heart are amazingly linked to produce a book which I did want to end.

I Highly recommend to everyone as this book will make you laugh out loud and keep you on the edge of your seat.

1 person found this helpful

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  • Mama H
  • 02-16-20

Its not the book, its me

I really wanted to love this book, but I just couldn't get really into it. There wasn't anything wrong so maybe its just me.
I liked other books from Alice Winters, In the Darkness-series and Within the Mind are absolutely wonderful.
I just found Leland annoying instead of funny. And its hard to like a story if you don't like the MC.
Michael F is a very talented narrator and he gives each character unique voice. But I kinda miss Joel Leslie, I'm used to his voice in Alice Winters books...

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  • Kindle Customer
  • 01-31-20

Hilarious

This is a well written funny book, lots of snark. If you can imagine the main character Leland as a Gay Deadpool then you will be very close.
I need to recommend this book to everyone who needs to actually laugh out loud when listening to this.
The narrator is wonderful with his character, I seriously smiled right the way through the book.

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  • Mari Cardenas
  • 01-28-20

OMG why did I wait to long to listen to this book?

5+++ OMG why did I wait to long to read (or rather listen to) this book Stars!!!

I've seen this book and its sequel recommended in lots of places since it came out, but one thing or the other always got in the way of me reading it. I finally got the audiobook narrated by one of my favorite narrators ever and since I got a lengthy break from ARCs, I decided to just start on it and it was my best decision ever, despite the loss of sleep since I couldn't fall asleep until 5am when I finally finished the book. LOL

Leland was definitely my favorite. He's such a fun, charismatic, all-around amazing character despite his profession and his upbringing (I was stifling my sobs at 2am when I was listening to how he became a hitman and I just wanted to cuddle him and make it better). It took me longer to warm up to Jackson, although I ended up loving him because of how he rallied to help Leland and defended him so Henry wouldn't turn him in. He really had quite the turnaround and I loved the progression, it felt realistic seeing as Jackson was such a straight-laced shooter.

While some of the scenes were more than a bit OTT, they just added to the charm of the story and helped Leland and Jackson shine individually and as a couple. I can't wait to have a bit of free time to delve into the next book, which I have waiting for me on my Kindle.

Henry was a great addition to the story. His father-son-like relationship with Jackson was lovely and I was glad he gave Leland a chance, even with their past history.

This is definitely a book you don't want to miss out on, captivating, fast-paced, engaging, action-packed and filled with fun and hot moments that will leave you wanting more, more, more! Add to it the fantastic performance by Michael Ferraiuolo, who did such an outstanding job with not only Leland and Jackson, but all the other voices in the book, and his knack for comedic timing and you definitely have a hit! Highly recommendable!

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  • henry parsons
  • 12-11-19

Wow just Wow

That book was amazing, I laughed and was constantly keeping me smiling if not on the edge of my seat, truly 5/5 and definitely recommend a listen

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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  • Alison
  • 12-09-19

Sweet and funny.

A slightly ridiculous storyline, but very entertaining, laugh out loud funny in places. I would buy a sequel.

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  • Book addict
  • 12-02-19

Very enjoyable

Really enjoyed listening to this. Although there was a lot of lighter silly humour, there was deeper stuff within their relationship too, so it balanced nicely.

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  • Starwarslover
  • 11-25-19

sooo good

ok so... i loved this so much. the characters.. the emotions.. the personalities and this narrator did an amazing job with the personalities of these two haha..
my only complaint is that the narrator has like a 5 second quiet between the end of the chapter to the beginning of the next.. it drove me crazy!

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  • Jackie Thorogood
  • 11-21-19

So much fun

Leland is my new BBF I loved him and poor Jackson. It's so funny that I was snorting like a child(husband kept giving me the side eye) Leland is a hit man and good at what he is meant to do, when on a stakeout he meets Jackson that had me laughing out loud......Poor Jackson doesn't stand a chance. The best few hours spent listening to this.Michael Ferraiuolo was fabulous on this, I wonder how many breaks he had to take. This is definitely going to be one that I will listen to many times to get the full effect of the genius who wrote this,

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  • Alan
  • 11-30-19

Loads of fun!

Loveable airhead, Leland, is a deadly hitman who seems to be modelled on the Jack McFarland character in Will & Grace. When their paths cross, he utterly charms and frustrates Jackson, a private investigator who takes life much more seriously. As usual, Michael Ferrauola captures the humour perfectly. Ridiculously amusing!

1 person found this helpful

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  • Traece
  • 02-13-20

Funny and captivating - couldn’t stop smiling.

I loved this book, the characters grab a hold of you and pull you into the story! The narration was clear and warm, enhancing the tone of the story.

Highly recommend. If you have never read/heard Alice Winters, this is an excellent place to start.

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  • Kelly
  • 01-30-20

The narrator was amazing as Leland!

I enjoyed the humour so much when I read this book last month that I decided to one-click the audio AND it was fantastic! The narrator was awesome, first audio I've listened to by him, and he did such a wonderful performance voicing both of the different characters. He performed Leland's character perfectly = 5 star performance.

I stumbled across The Hitman’s Guide to Making Friends and Finding Love when I was looking for my next KU read. Alice Winters is a new to me author, but I’ll definitely be looking at some of her other books to add to my TBR list.

This is probably the most light hearted, amusing and entertaining book I’ve read that involves a Hitman and a PI. Leland is the type of character that makes every scene he’s in fun to read. He has zero chill, he’s always talking and constantly fidgeting, and he adores Jackson. Leland loves pushing boundaries and saying the most ridiculous things. He’s hilarious.

Poor Jackson didn’t know what he was in for when he fell over that fence and mooned Leland, capturing his complete attention from then on. The relationship development, constant banter between these 2, and action scenes = a fun read.

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  • P D
  • 01-10-20

Not to be missed!!!

This was an absolute joy to listen to!!!! The author and narrator deserve more than 5 stars!!!!!!

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  • The Smut Librarian
  • 12-12-19

Funny and highly entertaining!

With brilliant characters, a dynamic storyline and Michael Ferraiuolo brings Alice's wonderful writing to life! A top choice!