• Kamala DESTROYS Donold...MEGA MAGA SMITE!
    Sep 12 2024

    Dear Humans,

    Lo, last night was wonderful. It was the long waited for comeuppance that Donold so richly deserved. It was the smiting we all needed to watch! Thank you to everyone who joined our live chat! Jesus and I had so much fun hanging out with you! It was so nice having our live chat locked to paid subscribers so we could enjoy it without fear of having any trolls there.

    After the debate, loser Donold went to the spin room, a sure sign that he knew he had just been destroyed. Every single channel was praising Kamala’s performance and utterly aghast at the things Donold said. Except for Fox News of course, which merely complained that ABC did something called ‘fact-checking.’ His supporters are now vowing to never watch ABC or Disney ever again. LOL…ok sure.

    https://www.thegodpodcast.com/p/kamala-destroys-donoldmegasmite

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    39 mins
  • God And Jesus Preview The Big Debate
    Sep 6 2024

    Dear Humans,

    We’re back! On today’s episode of the God Pod, God and Jesus discuss all that hath occurred over the last two weeks, from the Democratic National Convention to Dana Bash’s interview with Kamala Harris and Tim Walz.

    A lot of things happened whilst Jesus was on vacation! We also preview the first presidential debate coming on Tuesday night between Kamala and Donold.

    GOD’S 5 MONTH ANNIVERSARY SALE

    Well, tomorrow marks out 5th birthday here on Substack. It’s been going BONKERS. We are now at #80 on the US Politics leaderboard. Only 10 spots to go to pass the vile one, Ann Coulter.

    Unlike Tim Pool, Benny Johnson, and all those right wing podcasters, I’m not supported by bribes from Russia. I’m not paid by Putin. All I got is you.

    To celebrate our milestone, I'm offering a special one-day discount! For today only, you can become a paid subscriber at a 20% discount. Just click here to claim your September Rise Of Democracy Special and support God.

    Don’t miss out on this divine deal! (Valid through September 8th, 2024)

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    33 mins
  • Donold’s Downfall Is Frigging HILARIOUS
    Aug 14 2024

    Jesus and I recapped everything that’s happened in the last week. We celebrate the addition of Tim Walz to the Democratic ticket, and laugh our asses off at the ongoing smiting of Downfall Donold.

    Forsooth, how does Donold keep outdoing himself in the humiliation department?

    • Wishing Biden was still running

    • Complaining that Kamala’s crowds must be “fake”

    • ‘Accidentally’ flying on Jeffrey Epstein’s private jet in 2024

    And so much more. Join us as God and Jesus try to process all the funny things that are happening.

    I have faith in you, humans.

    Love,

    God

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    42 mins
  • God Interviews Project 2025 Expert Andra Watkins
    Aug 8 2024

    Dear Humans,

    Earlier this week, Jesus and I had the rare opportunity to converse with Project 2025 expert Andra Watkins, who doth cover Project 2025 every single day on her Substack, “How Project 2025 Will Ruin YOUR Life.” Verily, we quickly discovered that Andra is exceedingly cool and fun, and doth enjoy cursing as much as God. She is delightful and brilliant, and we didst have a blast hanging out with her.

    In addition to doing the Lord’s work in educating the world on Project 2025, Andra is a cherished member of the God community. I oft see her in our comments and restacking our posts, and if there be one thing God still enjoyeth, it’s that little hit of dopamine from likes, comments, and shares. This is because God is like unto Tinkerbell and doth require thy claps to continue to exist.

    “I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked, but it's not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be praised.”

    - Michael Scott, The Office

    Shoot…lost my train of thought. Anyway, cuddle up with a cup of coffee and hang out with us. Thou hast a little time.

    I believe in you, humans.

    Love,

    God

    SPECIAL OFFER:

    To celebrate our 3 month anniversary on Substack and Kamala’s VP announcement today, I'm offering a special one-day discount! For today only, you can become a paid subscriber at a 20% discount. Just click here to claim your August Rise of Democracy Special and support God. Don’t miss out on this divine deal! (Valid through August 9th, 2024)

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    40 mins
  • Thou Shalt Vote This Time Or You May Not Get Another Chance
    Jul 31 2024

    Dear Humans,

    Wow, what an episode we have for you this week! The rollercoaster has not slowed down and the last few days have been absolutely wild. We discuss the latest with data nerd Nick Powers.

    Nick tells us about what he’s seeing and we compare notes. And what we’re seeing is AWESOME. The Kamala momentum is real and spreading. We also laugh at the expense of extreme weirdo JD Vance, which feels SofaKing good. Later on, we discuss Trump’s weird speech to Christians. But first, we review all the amazing statistics!

    Join us on Substack for all our exclusive content and videos! New content daily!

    https://www.thegodpodcast.com/subscribe

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    42 mins
  • Kamala Is Already Beating Trump In The Polls!
    Jul 24 2024

    Watch the video!

    Dear Humans,

    I never could have imagined how emotional the past few days would make me. I have cried more tears of joy, hope, and pride than I can remember. For the first time in a long time, I am filled with hope for the future. Joe Biden's decision to step down wasn’t just a brilliant chess move; it was a symbolic passing of the torch from one generation to the next. And all the next generation wants to do is save the world. They have been champing at the bit for a while.

    I haven’t been this excited about a candidate since 2008. Kamala Harris stepping up and shining in her new role is truly inspiring. Watching her rise to the occasion fills me with immense pride and excitement for what lies ahead. According to new polls today, Kamala is already beating Trump in the polls by 2 points, and she has barely just begun!

    Of course, we couldn’t help but laugh at the Republicans’ feeble attempts to criticize her. Their main complaint? They don’t like her laugh. It’s comical how they grasp at plastic straws. Meanwhile, Trump is sulking over the money he wasted attacking Biden. HAHAHAHA!

    Trump attacked the Capitol to cling to power, while Biden voluntarily stepped down for the greater good. This concept of giving up power makes no sense to fascists, it’s as foreign to them as love.

    In this moment of transition and hope, let’s embrace the future with open hearts and minds. Together, we can rally around Kamala and defeat the power of Trumpian fascism forever.

    With hope and love,

    God and Jesus

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    40 mins
  • God Interviews Young Man Who Witnessed the Mass Shooting at a Trump Rally
    Jul 18 2024

    Dear Humans,

    Today Jesus and I sit-down with Johnny Palmadessa, a sharp young Democratic Strategist who found himself in the thick of chaos at the Trump campaign rally where a mass shooting occurred on Saturday. One innocent bystander lost their life, and Donald came within 2 inches bullet going through his brain.

    Johnny shares his firsthand account of the event. Jesus and I tried to wrap our minds around it, and let me tell you, it's not easy processing this kind of madness.

    Johnny's story is a sobering reminder of the real consequences of divisive rhetoric. It’s a wake-up call, a cosmic nudge, if you will, to re-evaluate who you’re supporting and why. Who will attract more chaos like a magnet in the future? Who will work to calm things down?

    So, do yourselves a favor and watch the full interview. Trust me, it's worth your time. You'll hear Johnny’s harrowing experience, and maybe, just maybe, you'll come away with a clearer understanding of the gravity of the situation. Plus, Jesus and I throw in some of our classic banter to keep things light. You won't want to miss it.

    Love,

    God

    PS - Watch the video!

    https://www.thegodpodcast.com/p/surviving-the-trump-assassination

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    31 mins
  • God and Jesus Smite The News Media!
    Jul 13 2024

    Dear Human Being reading this,

    It’s me, God, and boy, do we have a divine dispatch for you today! We just recorded a brand new episode of The God Pod, and you’re not gonna want to miss this one. We dug into some juicy topics that are hotter than hell's furnace, so grab your popcorn and buckle up.

    First up, we tackled the question that's been on everyone's mind: Who exactly is trying to push Biden out? Surprise, surprise—it's the millionaires and billionaires pulling the strings. The regular folks? They’re still supporting him. The real puppet masters here are the wealthy elites, and we're exposing their game.

    Then, we dove into something Ted Lieu mentioned that’s flying under the radar: the Epstein files. Yeah, you heard that right. Lieu said, “Something I've heard that doesn't seem to be getting covered is the Epstein files ... Donald Trump is all over this ... y'all might want to look at that.” The #TrumpPedoFiles should be the hottest hashtag right now.

    And if that wasn’t enough, MSNBC played a side-by-side clip of President Biden speaking at the NATO summit and Donald Trump’s unhinged rally from last night. Let me tell you, it was like watching a Shakespearean actor next to a guy screaming on a street corner. Biden’s all about diplomacy and coherence, while Trump’s rambling about airports and mothers helplessly watching their kids overdose. Seriously, what alternate reality is this guy living in?

    Speaking of Trump’s rallies, his latest performance in Doral was a doozy. He goes on about how “Mothers will never again be forced to watch their children overdosing and hosp--lee. And we will never allow mothers to watch their child hopelessly dying in their arms, screaming, ‘What can I do? What can I do? Help me God, what can I do?’” And don't get me started on his rant about dirty, crowded airports. Someone really needs to give this guy a reality check.

    So, what are you waiting for? Dive into the latest episode and get the full scoop.

    Celebrate with Us: We just hit a milestone—over 500 paid subscribers! It’s a tiny fraction of our 54,000 followers, but every bit helps us keep bringing you divine satire. Thank you for your support! If you haven’t subscribed to our newsletter yet, what are you waiting for? Head over to thegodpodcast.com to get the latest episodes, satirical news, and more.

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    34 mins