In today's episode, I'm getting real about why dating apps aren't actually the problem, and how the strategy you've been using is.

In this episode you'll learn:

• Why treating dating like a numbers game is keeping you stuck
• The difference between collecting matches and actually filtering for the right person
• How to use your past dating experiences to identify your core values
• How to weave those values into your profile so you attract the right men (and filter out the wrong ones)

LINKS MENTIONED:

🎉 Free Irresistible Woman Series 20+ dating and relationship experts. Free access. Tons of gifts. 👉 Sign up here

🔥 The Magnetic Dating Profile: Turn your profile into a magnet for emotionally available men who actually want a relationship. 👉 Grab it here before the price goes up

Enjoying the podcast? Subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with a friend who needs to hear it. 💛

Want expert guidance on your love life? Book a free call to explore working with me right here!

Follow Shonda on Instagram and Tiktok for more inspo and dating advice.

If you’ve tried visualizing, journaling, affirmations, or “manifesting” your dream relationship, and you’re still attracting the same type of men or relationship pattern, this episode is for you.

In this episode, Shonda introduces a concept she calls The Belief Gap:

the space between what you want in love and what your nervous system and subconscious actually believe is safe and possible.

You’ll learn why manifestation doesn’t happen from desire alone, and how to gently close the gap between where you are and the relationship you want, without forcing belief or gaslighting yourself.

In This Episode, We Cover:

• Why manifesting love often feels frustrating or ineffective
• What The Belief Gap is and how it blocks real change
• Why your subconscious cares more about safety than desire
• The “CD player” metaphor for why affirmations get rejected
• The money analogy that explains why big desires bounce off the nervous system
• Why your ideal partner list isn’t the problem—it’s diagnostic
• How to turn desires into believable mantras that actually work
• Why belief is built incrementally (and why that’s enough)
• How closing the Belief Gap changes how you show up in dating

Podcast Episodes Mentioned: Episode 5 How to get what you want with "the list"

Ready for More Support?

If 2026 is the year you want to call in real love then come find me on Instagram and DM me the word CUSTOM and I’ll send you a personalized dating strategy video.

Want expert guidance on your love life? Book a free call to explore working with me right here!

Follow Shonda on Instagram and Tiktok for more inspo and dating advice.

If being single feels especially triggering for you (engagement announcements, weddings, breakups, or the pressure of feeling “behind,”) this episode is for you.

Today I'm breaking down a concept I teach all of my coaching clients: clean pain vs. dirty pain, and how confusing the two is what keeps so many women stuck in anxiety, shame, and dating spirals.

In this episode, we cover:

• The difference between clean pain and dirty pain, and why it matters
• Why seeing other people get engaged or married can send you into a spiral
• How your brain creates fear-based stories about your future without you realizing it
• Why breakups hurt more when you make them mean something about you
• A simple way to validate your feelings without letting them run your life
• How to stop dating from urgency, panic, or comparison
• What it looks like to return to dating from a grounded, confident place

This is a powerful mindset shift you can use anytime you feel triggered around being single, especially during the holidays.

And if you are ready to stop spiraling, regulate your nervous system, and date with intention in the new year, send me a DM on Instagram (@shondahowardlove) with the word CUSTOM and I’ll send you a personalized dating strategy.

Want expert guidance on your love life? Book a free call to explore working with me right here!

Follow Shonda on Instagram and Tiktok for more inspo and dating advice.

In this episode, I’m joined by marketing expert and single gal in Denver, Lindsay May, for a super honest convo about what it actually looks like to keep dating when you’re tired, triggered, or over the apps.

In this episode, we cover:

• How Lindsay healed from a toxic relationship and eased back into dating
• Why dating apps can feel so draining—and how to treat them as a neutral tool
• Meeting men in real life: pickleball, grocery stores, and being present
• The power of your presence and magnetic energy when you’re out in the world
• How to “market” yourself in your dating profile so it actually sounds like you
• Simple mindset shifts to keep you in the game without burning out

Connect with Lindsay on Instagram HERE

If you’re ready to stop attracting emotionally unavailable men and call in a secure, committed relationship 👉 Join my free masterclass “How to Stop Dating Emotionally Unavailable Men and Attract Your Soulmate in 6 Months.”

SIGN UP HERE.

Want expert guidance on your love life? Book a free call to explore working with me right here!

Follow Shonda on Instagram and Tiktok for more inspo and dating advice.

In this Thanksgiving episode of Finding Love After 30, Shonda gets real about how hard the holidays can feel when you’re single, surrounded by couples, and dodging questions like “So…are you seeing anyone?” She walks you through why gratitude is not pretending everything is fine, but a grounding practice that helps regulate your nervous system, shift your thoughts, and actually make you more available for healthy love.

You’ll hear how Shonda used daily gratitude on her own journey to meeting her husband, how this ties into the cognitive model from CBT, and a simple three-part gratitude practice you can start today, even if you’re feeling lonely or behind.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• Why holiday comments about your love life sting so much (and why it makes sense you feel anxious).
• How gratitude supports nervous system regulation and secure attachment.
• A simple daily gratitude/appreciation ritual you can do in a few minutes, morning or night.

If you’re ready to go beyond gratitude and want personalized support with nervous system regulation, attachment healing, and dating strategy, send Shonda a DM on Instagram with the word CUSTOM and she’ll send you a free custom dating strategy with the exact steps to take based on where you are right now.

Want expert guidance on your love life? Book a free call to explore working with me right here!

Follow Shonda on Instagram and Tiktok for more inspo and dating advice.

If you're heading into the holidays single and already dreading the “So… are you seeing anyone?” questions, this episode is going to feel like a deep exhale. I sat down with my friend, confidence coach Elyse Conroy, for a raw, hilarious, and honest conversation about navigating the holidays when you’re the only single one in the room.

We talk about:

• Why those invasive questions from Aunt Mildred feel so triggering
• How to answer them with confidence (and shut them down with grace)
• What to do if you were just ghosted or broken up with before the holidays
• Why you keep dating the same emotionally unavailable guy on repeat
• How to regulate your nervous system so you stop spiraling in dating
• And how to actually enjoy being single this season instead of feeling behind

You’ll walk away with scripts, mindset shifts, and practical tools to help you feel grounded, worthy, and secure — no matter what’s happening in your love life right now.

JOIN MY FREE MASTERCLASS:

Ready to stop dating emotionally unavailable men and attract a committed partner in the next 6 months? Grab your seat RIGHT HERE or DM me the word TRAINING on Instagram.

CONNECT WITH ELYSE ON INSTAGRAM

Want expert guidance on your love life? Book a free call to explore working with me right here!

Follow Shonda on Instagram and Tiktok for more inspo and dating advice.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing everything to find love — dating apps, social events, staying “open”— yet it still feels like nothing’s working, this episode is for you.

In today’s episode of Finding Love After 30, Shonda shares how to shift from chasing love to attracting it by becoming the woman who’s already a match for the kind of relationship she wants.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

• The difference between chasing love and attracting it
• Why trying harder in dating can actually push men away
• The nervous system truth behind “chasing energy”
• The key mindset shift that makes you magnetic to secure men
• A simple journaling practice to align with the version of you who already has the relationship you want

Resources & next steps:

• DM Shonda the word MAGNETIC on Instagram @shondahowardlove for a free dating strategy call.
• Subscribe to Finding Love After 30 for more episodes that help you find the relationship you’ve been dreaming of.

Want expert guidance on your love life? Book a free call to explore working with me right here!

Follow Shonda on Instagram and Tiktok for more inspo and dating advice.

You can’t swipe your way into secure love if your nervous system is stuck in survival mode.

This week, I’m getting real about what happened when I was forced to slow down — and what it revealed about my own patterns around productivity, self-worth, and why "resting" in life or taking a break from dating can feel so damn triggering… especially if you’re someone who’s always doing the most.

We’re talking about:

• The sneaky ways hustle culture shows up in your dating life
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• What happens when your nervous system doesn’t know how to flow (hello, overthinking every text)
• 
  
• Why taking a break from dating might actually speed up your timeline
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• The subconscious fears that surface when you finally pause
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• And the most magnetic energy you can bring into your love life right now

If you’ve been feeling burnt out, anxious, or like love is taking too long to arrive — this episode is for you.

RATE & REVIEW!! If this episode resonated, leave a review or share it with someone who needs to hear this reminder today. And if you’re taking a dating break, DM me on Instagram @shondahowardlove — I wanna hear about it 💗

Want expert guidance on your love life? Book a free call to explore working with me right here!

Follow Shonda on Instagram and Tiktok for more inspo and dating advice.