This week on the podcast, Dr Louise is joined by Tova Gillespie, a working single parent to two daughters, one of whom has severe disabilities and complex medical needs. Here she talks about the challenges of being perimenopausal while being a carer and how it’s easy to not recognise or understand your symptoms.

Louise and Tova discuss how it’s easy for your own needs to end up at the bottom of the to-do list when you’re a carer or have a busy family life, and Tova shares three tips for anyone who may not be looking after themselves:

1. Learn to ask for and accept help. People want to help, but very often they don't know how to offer it and our usual response can be ‘no, I don't need anything’. Instead, say straight out: ‘Please do my washing up. Or I have five loads of clean laundry that needs sorting. Or can you bring over some food?’ Anything really.
2. If your health isn't what it should be, go to your GP. When you ring your GP, ask for an appointment to talk about perimenopause and hormones. They’ll know from the get go what it is you're after and if they have anyone in the clinic with an interest in that area, they’ll put you in with that person.
3. Try to see the good every day. I do gratitude journalling, where I write down a minimum of three positive things that have happened that day, and they're not big. It could be the sun is shining. It could be the taste of that first sip of coffee in the morning. I train myself to look for the positive because it's so easy to get overwhelmed in the bad stuff.

Learn more about Tova on her YouTube channel. Or follow her on Instagram @parentXP

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This week on the podcast, journalist Bryony Gordon, bestselling author of several books including her latest, Mad Woman, explains how the perimenopause caused her to reconsider her mental health. Was her experience of OCD affected by her hormones and what would society look like if women’s health was taken more seriously?

Bryony shares her belief that there’s a 'witchy magic' to menopause and that the issues it brings are the ones that you need to deal with and there is power in doing so.

Finally, Bryony shares three bits of advice to any woman being dismissed with 'it’s just your hormones':

1. Don’t dismiss yourself. Don’t discount your point of view or feelings just because they are yours. Maybe sometimes you're right, maybe sometimes you're wrong - that's OK.
2. It's OK sometimes to be bad. We all are. It’s just society wants us to live as women in a way that isn't very human.
3. Confidence is a trick. No one has confidence. I don't have confidence. I just have a will and a desperation not to spend the rest of my life hating on myself because it's such a waste of energy.

Follow Bryony on Instagram @bryonygordon her community organisation @Mental Health Mates

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This week, Dr Louise is once again joined by journalist and activist Kate Muir, who made the Davina McCall documentary Sex, Myths and the Menopause. In Kate’s new book, Everything You Need to Know About the Pill (but were too afraid to ask), she turns her attention to the hormones commonly used in the contraceptive pill.

Kate shares personal stories of how women have been negatively affected by synthetic hormones and uncovers the bad science and patriarchy that have had such an impact on women’s health. She also offers hope that women have options and can demand change.

Finally, Kate shares three things every women should know about hormones and the pill:

1. Progestins are not all the same. Some of them are androgenic and some of them are oestrogenic, and they have very different effects. So, women can be on the wrong pill for them.
2. You can always take a pill holiday. There's nothing wrong with taking a few months off and seeing how you feel. And you may be a different person, or there may be other reasons for why you are in that state of mental health.
3. There needs to be more research into every bit of what synthetic hormones do in our bodies, and particularly in our minds.

You can follow Kate on Instagram at @muirka and on @pillscandal

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