In this powerful conversation, I sit down with Dr. Corey Allan—husband, father, author, speaker, and seasoned marriage and family therapist—to unpack the truth about long-term love, personal growth, and staying connected through change. We go beyond surface-level advice to talk about what really keeps relationships alive, why personal responsibility is non-negotiable, and how to navigate shifts in yourself and your partner without losing the bond.

1. Face the relationship you have—not the one you wish you had.
   
   

2. Personal growth will shift the relationship—be ready to adapt.
   
   

3. Strong connections are built on presence, self-respect, and shared growth.
   
   

1. Work with Who Your Partner Really Is (05:03)

"I'm fighting for the spouse I wish I had… rather than I'm actually working with who they are."

Explanation: Real progress comes when energy is spent on understanding and relating to the actual person in the relationship—flaws, strengths, and all—instead of chasing an idealized version that only exists in imagination.

2. Change in One Partner Shifts the Entire System (13:25)

"One person makes a change, so it's going to impact the system… The other person is left with a couple of choices."

Explanation: Every change—whether intentional growth, a lifestyle shift, or a new boundary—ripples through the relationship. How each person responds determines whether the bond strengthens, adapts, or drifts apart.

3. Presence Beats Time Quantity (33:25)

"My wife benefits… from 20 minutes of a hundred percent of my presence more than she does of an hour of 50% of my presence."

Explanation: Deep connection is built through focused, intentional engagement rather than simply being in the same space. Quality attention fuels emotional closeness far more than distracted time together.

Connections:
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In this episode, we explore how grief—often avoided, misunderstood, and pushed down—can actually become the catalyst for living fully and authentically. Dr. Michelle Petticola shares powerful insights on transforming complex grief into fuel for life’s purpose. You’ll discover why facing your emotions is essential, how reframing loss can shift your experience, and the hidden costs of suppressing what your heart needs to feel.

1. Surrender is the first step to transformation — Allowing emotions to flow opens the door to healing and self-discovery.
   
   

2. Reframe grief as a measure of love — Shifting perspective transforms pain into a lasting, meaningful connection.
   
   

3. Unprocessed grief impacts every area of life — Avoidance drains energy, creates emotional blocks, and can keep you from living true to yourself.
   
   

1. The Power of Surrender (14:01)

"You have to surrender to the experience... There’s no magic pill. There is no quick formula. You have to go through the process. And it’s good because when you go through the process, you transform."

Explanation: Accepting and fully feeling emotions instead of resisting them prevents them from becoming trapped in the body. This openness can lead to personal breakthroughs and deeper self-awareness.

2. Reframing Loss as Love (22:32)

"What if instead of looking at it that way, you look at it as your grief is a measurement of your love for this woman."

Explanation: Changing the meaning you give to grief shifts the emotional experience. Viewing grief as evidence of deep love creates an empowering connection rather than a debilitating wound.

3. The Hidden Impact of Unprocessed Grief (20:24)

"If you don’t grieve, the emotions get stuck in your body… As soon as they start to get that relief… suddenly they have all this energy that they didn’t have because… you’re exhausted."

Explanation: Suppressing emotions requires constant effort, which drains vitality and can manifest as physical or mental health challenges. Releasing them restores energy and emotional clarity.

Connections:

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Secrets Of Life and Death
Complex Grief Checklist

Today’s conversation dives deep into the intersection of identity, nervous system regulation, authentic connection, and lasting love. This is about understanding the body’s role in transformation, breaking patterns that keep relationships stuck, and reclaiming the confidence to live and love from a place of wholeness.

1. Healing Can Be Accelerated in the Right Environment – Safety, preparation, and integration are key to lasting breakthroughs.

2. Connection is the Core of Transformation – Deep healing happens when we reconnect with ourselves, others, and nature.

3. Psychedelics Are a Tool, Not a Shortcut – The real work is in integration and living the lessons learned.

• Creating a Safe and Structured Healing Space (04:12)
  "People need to feel safe enough to let go, so the healing process can truly begin."
  When trust and safety are built into the experience, the mind and body can release long-held trauma, making transformation possible.

• Why Connection Heals (12:45)
  "The medicine reminds us we’re part of something larger than ourselves."
  This sense of belonging counteracts isolation, helps dissolve anxiety, and fosters a deep inner calm.

• Integration Is the Real Transformation (18:27)
  "The retreat isn’t the end — it’s the beginning of a new chapter."
  The insights gained must be applied in daily life to create sustainable change and authentic alignment.

• Nature as a Co-Facilitator (25:10)
  "Being in nature accelerates the sense of awe and connection."
  Immersion in natural settings supports nervous system regulation, emotional grounding, and spiritual openness.

• Shaping the Future of Psychedelic Healing (32:02)
  "We’re building a model that prioritizes ethics, accessibility, and long-term impact."
  A vision for making this work safe, legal, and accessible to more people without losing its integrity.

Connections:
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