Hi, friends, and welcome back to our series, "On Becoming: The Art and Craft of Personal Storytelling" where we take a close look at personal essays written by real students, talking about why we love them, what makes them work, and how they came to be.

In this episode, I had the honor of sitting down with Wendy Zheutlin, who is not only one of my essay coaches but has been a volunteer for the past four years with our Matchlighters Scholars Program. This is the program where we pair high-achieving, low-income students with amazing counselors for 10 hours of free one-on-one support. And if that sounds interesting to you, whether you are a student or a counselor, we'll link in the show notes where you can find out more.

This episode is a rare opportunity. Whereas normally we break down essays written by students, this was actually a personal statement written by Wendy herself as part of a course that I led for counselors. So this is her own personal statement, not written for applying to college, and it's one of my favorite essays.

We talk about what it was like for Wendy, who doesn't identify as a writer, to write this story, a few techniques she uses to communicate a lot in just a few words, and that ineffable moment when you figure out what a story is about.

If you're the kind of person who enjoys seeing how things get made, whether it's a great meal, a film scene, or a piece of writing, I have a feeling you might enjoy this one.

Wendy Zheutlin works independently and with CEG as a college essay coach. After earning her BA in psychology from UCSC and her MA in film from Stanford, Wendy went on to work on social issue documentaries in film and TV. While raising her family, Wendy worked in both an elementary school and public library. Open and honest, Wendy builds trust and provides a safe environment in which students can begin a joyful journey of self-reflection and discovery as they write college essays that capture their spirit, their values, their experiences that engage readers.

Enjoy.

Play-by-Play:

• 2:04 – What is Wendy's background, and what motivated her to experience the essay process from the "inside out"?
• 4:27 – Wendy reads her personal statement, "Raspberry Sky."
• 11:45 – What was the writing process like for Wendy?
• 15:14 – How can short, factual sentences create a more impactful story?
• 18:11 – How did reading children's picture books influence Wendy's approach?
• 19:17 – How does the plum blossom motif serve as a metaphor for new beginnings?
• 21:58 – How can contrast show the different sides of a hard experience?
• 26:13 – What did Wendy discover about her story through multiple revisions?
• 28:31 – Why is subtle humor a useful tool when sharing a difficult experience?
• 30:21 – How can a writer identify the "orienting moment" or core message of a story?
• 36:18 – How can parentheticals be used to pack a lot of detail into a short section?
• 39:48 – What advice does Wendy offer for writing about difficult experiences?
• 43:27 – How can the process of "meaning making" help both the author and reader discover something new?
• 44:54 – What does the essay's conclusion reveal about growth?
• 48:48 – Closing thoughts

Resources:

• "Raspberry Sky" Essay
• Matchlighters Scholars Program
• College Essay Guy's Personal Statement Resources
• College Essay Guy's College Application Hub

Show Notes:

Hi, friends, and welcome back to our series, On Becoming: The Art and Craft of Personal Storytelling. In this series, we take a close look at personal essays written by real students, talking about why we love them, what makes them work, and how they came to be.

In this episode, we break down an essay on… wait for it… baseball. Wait, what? But Ethan, I thought writing about a common topic was a fast track to blending in. And yes—in many cases, it can be. But this essay offers a great example of how a familiar topic can become something more layered, specific, and personal.

To dig into how that happens, I'm joined by Kaila Barber: essay coach at CEG, Associate Director of 1-on-1 Coaching, and professional track star. Together, we explore how to stand out with a common topic, how to weave in challenge without letting it take over the story, and one specific technique for crafting a strong, memorable ending. If you're the kind of person who enjoys seeing how things get made, whether it's a great meal, a film scene, or a piece of writing, I have a feeling you'll enjoy this one.

Kaila Barber has been helping students prepare for college in various capacities since 2018. After graduating from the University of Notre Dame with a master's degree in Global Health, a bachelor's degree in PreProfessional Science, and a minor in Education, Schooling, and Society, Kaila decided to serve her local school district as an educational assistant. For two years, she worked closely with students who had learning differences, tailoring lesson plans and materials to better suit the needs of her students. Kaila enjoys walking side-by-side with students, guiding them through their memories and insights, while they discover new ways to make meaning from their lives that can be highlighted in creative and compelling essays.

We hope you enjoy.

Play-by-Play:

• 2:07 – Who is the student behind the essay, and what made his approach to a sports topic stand out?
• 4:44 – Kaila reads the essay we're calling, "The Stains on My Baseball Pants"
• 8:40 – What stands out about the essay's use of showing vs. telling?
• 10:27 – How did the essay evolve from a baseball topic into a montage centered on stains?
• 12:56 – How does the essay incorporate themes of identity and belonging without making them the central focus?
• 15:38 – How were the different "stains" chosen to represent key parts of the student's story?
  • 19:52 – What does the kimbap stain reveal about family, culture, and leadership?
  • 22:00 – What does the dirt stain reveal about growth, belonging, and identity?
  • 26:57 – What new role or identity is revealed through the eye black blotch paragraph?
  • 31:51 – What does the "parents' pilot" metaphor reveal about the student's role in his family?
  • 36:20 – How does the ending bring the theme of "stains" back while highlighting community and belonging?
• 40:15 – What does Kaila hope students take away from the essay writing process?
• 41:31 – Closing thoughts

Resources:

• "The Stains on My Baseball Pants" Essay
• College Essay Guy's Personal Statement Resources
• College Essay Guy's College Application Hub

Hi, friends, and welcome back to our series, "On Becoming: The Art and Craft of Personal Storytelling." In this series, we take a close look at personal essays written by real students, talking about why we love them, what makes them work, and how they came to be.

In this episode, we explore an essence objects essay, which is to say an essay that was written about objects in the author's room, each one of which reveals a different aspect of their life. I'm joined by Ali McKeon, an essay coach and program advisor here at College Essay Guy. Ali worked with the student who wrote this essay, so she gives us a behind-the-scenes look at the process of working with this student, how the topic came to be, plus the questions she asked along the way. For those of you who love seeing how things get made, whether it's a great meal, a film scene, or a piece of writing, this episode offers a little window into that process.

Ali McKeon is a writing coach and veteran college admissions essay specialist with a BA in English from Stanford University and MFA from UC Irvine. She is passionate about building her students' confidence in the writing process and developing them into strong self-advocates for their individual learning needs. One of the highlights of her career has been mentoring bright students with learning differences. In addition to teaching, she is an arts entrepreneur, former professional ballet dancer, and mom to a busy toddler.

We hope you enjoy.

Play-by-Play:

• 1:50 – Who is the student behind the essay, and what stood out about working with her?
• 4:29 – Ali reads the essay, which we're calling "Tiny Windows into My Being"
• 9:00 – What ideas inspired the student's writing?
• 10:35 – What makes an "objects in my room" essay stand out?
• 12:36 – What is an "essence objects" essay, and how does it connect to the montage essay structure?
• 13:23 – How did the student decide which objects to include in the opening paragraph?
• 18:02 – How can students weave accomplishments into an essay without sounding like they're bragging?
• 20:22 – Why does pairing achievements with curiosity strengthen this paragraph?
• 22:18 – In what ways does the essay show the student is more than just a STEM student?
• 26:24 – How does the author reflect on her cultural identities?
• 30:42 – What led the student to include the migraine story in the essay?
• 36:50 – What makes this essay's ending so effective?
• 41:26 – What does Ali enjoy most about working with students on essays?
• 45:21 – Closing thoughts

Resources:

• "Tiny Windows into My Being" Essay
• College Essay Guy's Personal Statement Resources
• College Essay Guy's College Application Hub