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Publisher's Summary

Gary is a sweet and decent man. Only two things would improve his life - having children with his gorgeous wife, Pauline, and a lower golf handicap. Both are unlikely.

Pauline is wondering how she ended up living in an ugly little house, driving a second-hand car and making a living dressing up as Tinker Bell. She's planning to leave Gary for a self-made carpet millionaire.

Findlay, the Carpet King of Scotland, wants to trade in his obese wife for a younger model. But if he goes for a divorce, she'll take him to the cleaners. If only there was some way she could be made to disappear....

Lee, Gary's luckless brother, has botched one too many drug deals. Local crime overlord Ranta Campbell gives him one more job - one last chance to get it right. Lee's done some bad things - but murder?

When Gary gets smashed on the head by a golf ball and miraculously develops an absolutely perfect swing, everyone finds their fates rest on the final day of the Open Championship....

©2015 John Niven (P)2015 Random House AudioBooks

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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Great Book

Loved this book. well written and will keep you laughing. looking forward reading another of Johns book's

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  • Greg
  • 12-11-15

Funniest book I've ever heard/read

Never has a book made me laugh out loud as much as this one did. John Nivens best book in my opinion, however they are all great.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Anonymous User
  • 07-28-18

review

started pretty poorly , got better at the later stages
didn't like the voices especially the poor wee stereotypical Glasgow bams
golf knowledge good although story farcical
good comedy in parts but too little , some lines too lazy and predictable overall aversge

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  • John Buckingham
  • 06-18-18

Simply brilliant

Big fan of John Niven's work and that drew me to this story. I expected a lot, he has set his standards very high, Second Coming especially. This did not disappoint. Ostensibly it's about golf but it's much more than that. It's funny. Funny funny funny and it's a nice underdog story. Poor Gary is a lovely man being crapped on from all angles and when his world starts to change you root for him and he delivers. When you learn about his disjointed family, you root for them too. I even liked the bad guy. You will love the protagonist and you will laugh out loud, possibly at work like I did, and look like a loon but the payoff is worth it.

Great work John, love John.

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  • Brian
  • 06-15-18

Colourful realistic language and a gid wee story.

What a master piece. John, where have you been! All credit to the narrator Angus King. You read the book so well. The whole book is full of cringing moments that are funny as fuck. This reminds me of early Brookmyre and goes beyond the Welch bloke.

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  • Cliff
  • 06-10-18

guilty pleasure

First John Niven read and certainlyy not my last. A little guilty for laughing so much at the heroes affliction but just so funny. Already looking for next read (listen). A hard act to follow.

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  • Brian Davidson
  • 04-03-18

great listen, very funny

As a struggling golfer I can identify with the main characters anguish, and we have all had dreams of somehow becoming a scratch player over night. very funny and entertaining book

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 03-18-18

Funniest book you will read.

Laughed out loud, which is embarrassing but I didn't care. Well read. Highly recommended. Must read more by this author.

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  • A. Incekara
  • 11-25-17

funny especially for those who love the game

great listen -laughed out loud quite a bit - funny moments for golf fans- enjoyed a lot

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  • Grey fortress melancholy
  • 10-03-17

Laugh yer cock aff

Funniest book you’ll ever read, You’ll laugh till your sides hurt and then laugh some more.

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  • heather mcvey
  • 09-14-17

laugh out loud

By far the best book i have ever heard.You can't help but laugh out loud.

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  • Helen V
  • 03-31-17

Laugh out loud funny....

What made the experience of listening to The Amateurs the most enjoyable?

This book is laugh out loud funny (care required when driving) but probably should come with a language warning. Didn't worry us though as it really raised the believability of some of the characters. This book goes a long way to helping the non-golfers (us) understand the bloody single mindedness that some golfers have about the statistics of the game.

The narrator Angus King was terrific and appropriately accented which just added to the listening experience.

What other book might you compare The Amateurs to, and why?

Not quite in the same league as The Sunshine Cruise Company but very very close. On par with The Second Coming.