• Sissy

  • A Coming-of-Gender Story
  • By: Jacob Tobia
  • Narrated by: Jacob Tobia
  • Length: 11 hrs and 21 mins
  • 4.6 out of 5 stars (761 ratings)

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Sissy  By  cover art

Sissy

By: Jacob Tobia
Narrated by: Jacob Tobia
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Publisher's summary

The National Best Seller

"Transformative...If Tobia aspires to the ranks of comic memoirists like David Sedaris and Mindy Kaling, Sissy succeeds." (New York Times Book Review)

A heart-wrenching, eye-opening, and giggle-inducing memoir about what it's like to grow up not sure if you're (a) a boy, (b) a girl, (c) something in between, or (d) all of the above.

"A beautiful book...honest and funny." (Trevor Noah, The Daily Show)

"Sensational." (Tyler Oakley)

"Jacob Tobia is a force." (Good Morning America)

"A trans Nora Ephron...both honest and didactic." (OUT Magazine)

"A rallying cry for anyone who's ever felt like they don't belong." (Woman's Day)

As a young child in North Carolina, Jacob Tobia wasn't the wrong gender, they just had too much of the stuff. Barbies? Yes. Playing with bugs? Absolutely. Getting muddy? Please. Princess dresses? You betcha. Jacob wanted it all, but because they were "a boy", they were told they could only have the masculine half. Acting feminine labelled them "a sissy" and brought social isolation.

It took Jacob years to discover that being "a sissy" isn't something to be ashamed of. It's a source of pride. Following Jacob through bullying and beauty contests, from Duke University to the United Nations to the podiums of the Methodist church - not to mention the parlors of the White House - this unforgettable memoir contains multitudes. A deeply personal story of trauma and healing, a powerful reflection on gender and self-acceptance, and a hilarious guidebook for wearing tacky clip-on earrings in today's world, Sissy guarantees you'll never think about gender - both other people's and your own - the same way again.

©2019 Jacob Tobia (P)2019 Penguin Audio

Critic reviews

“[Tobia] combines incisive wit and undeniable intelligence to invite readers into their personal journey as a gender-nonconforming young person in North Carolina.... It is in Tobia’s often self-deprecating humor that Sissy is most transformative, and where it most departs from other trans memoirs. The seriousness of the topic never feels glossed over, which allows for an organic and seamless journey from tears on one page to laughing aloud on the next. If Tobia aspires to the ranks of comic memoirists like David Sedaris and Mindy Kaling, Sissy succeeds.” (New York Times Book Review)

“With bare honesty, irreverent humor, and refreshing vulnerability, this memoir is a rallying cry for anyone who's ever felt like they don't belong.” (Woman’s Day)

"When the political reality facing this country seems dark, we need shinier, sparklier thinkers in the public eye. With a signature style matched only by their wit, Jacob fits that bill perfectly." (Alan Cumming)

Featured Article: The top 100 memoirs of all time


All genres considered, the memoir is among the most difficult and complex for a writer to pull off. After all, giving voice to your own lived experience and recounting deeply painful or uncomfortable memories in a way that still engages and entertains is a remarkable feat. These autobiographies, often narrated by the authors themselves, shine with raw, unfiltered emotion sure to resonate with any listener. But don't just take our word for it—queue up any one of these listens, and you'll hear exactly what we mean.

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What listeners say about Sissy

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Grammy Bound!!

This audiobook is mind-blowing. I couldn’t stop listening. Someone nominate Jacob for a Grammy award right now!

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3 people found this helpful

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Enlightening and inspiring

Jacob does an incredible job in writing and performing their story; making it both comical and refreshingly candid. The vivid imagery and their emotional transparency will have any empathetic listener celebrating Jacob's victories and deeply saddened by the injustices as the story unfolds. (Perhaps listening to this book while working, as I did, is not the best approach.)

Jacob, being who they are, can be obnoxiously abrasive and over the top throughout the process of discovering who they are and how to present themselves to the world. They are very clear about doing so unapologetically.

If you are open to the message, this book will challenge your preconceptions, redefining the way you see yourself and the world around you. Sissy is not only for the LGBTQ+ community either. In fact, cisgender people stand to benefit most of all as Jacob's story paints a unique perspective that I had certainly never considered.

This is a beautiful story as told by a beautiful soul. I hope you find it as enjoyable as I did.

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Funny enlightening and inspiring

This book was read by the author and to performance was magnificent I recommend for everyone to at least give this book a chance No matter what side of the issue you stand on you will admire Jacob's bravery intelligence and courageous spirit

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Wonderful book

So illuminating and helpful. I developed such respect for the author. Such insight about 1 person’s journey in the gay / trans community.

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A powerful young voice with a wonderful message.

Narrated by the writer, this memoir delivers a strong message of hope to those who struggle to realize their true power. The power that comes with accepting yourself just the way you are while being strong enough to recognize your endless need for growth. Jacob has taught me that being different is beautiful and being unapologetically different is what brings change about. Jacob, his family and friends are a reminder to us all that love, patience and acceptance are what truly make a life worth living.

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Loved it

Funny, lots of heart. Courageous and true. Loved it. As a Boomer Mom in Raleigh NC, with now grown kids this act age, I enjoyed every minute! Go Jacob!

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Interesting

This was interesting. A new way to think about gender labels. This was very enlightening. A courageous proponent for the equality of all genders.

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Charming, Inspirational, and Deeply Impactful

Sissy: A Coming-of-Gender Story has quickly become my favorite book in my entire collection. The fact that this audiobook is narrated by the author themselves makes it even more powerful. Jacob Tobia is a beautiful storyteller, drawing us into their memoir and taking us through each chapter of their lives exploring all the milestone events that helped shape them into the strong, courageous advocate they are today. As a trans-masculine non-binary person who is just recently coming out to loved ones and finally expressing my gender as my true self, I found this book to be deeply impactful. SIssy: A Coming-of-Gender Story will make you smile, make you laugh, make you cry, and make you cheer along with Jacob every step of the way as they come into their own power. I would highly recommend this book not only for people of the LGBTQIA+ community, but for all. It is a story that deserves to be heard and truly has the power to change lives.

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what a changemaker.

I am so grateful for all this Jacob does. hearing them read there book was excellent.

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Funny, intelligent and important perspective

Jacob is intelligent and hilarious as they share their experience with gender identity, through faith, college, family, etc. Extremely relatable even though my gender identity was never a struggle for me. Thank you for your bravery and telling this important perspective, Jacob.

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