What Makes Love Last?

How to Build Trust and Avoid Betrayal

By: Nan Silver, John M. Gottman

Narrated by: Peter Berkrot

Length: 7 hrs and 8 mins

Publisher's summary

Dr. John Gottman, the country's preeminent researcher on marriage, is famous for his Love Lab at the University of Washington in Seattle where he deciphers the mysteries of human relationships through scientific research. His 35 years of exploration have earned him numerous awards, including from the National Institute of Mental Health, the American Psychological Association, and the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. Now, Dr. Gottman offers surprising findings and advice on the characteristic that is at the heart of all relationships: trust. Dr. Gottman has developed a formula that precisely calculates any couple's loyalty level. The results determine a relationship's likely future, including the potential for one or both partners to stray.

What Makes Love Last? shows couples how to bolster their trust level and avoid what Dr. Gottman calls the "Roach Motel for Lovers". He describes how the outcome of "sliding door moments", small pivotal points between a couple, can lead either to more emotional connection or to discontent. He suggests a new approach to handling adultery and reveals the varied and unexpected nonsexual ways that couples often betray each other.

What Makes Love Last? guides couples through an empirically tested, trust-building program that will help them repair and maintain any long-term, intimate romantic relationship.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2012 John M Gottman, PhD, and Nan Silver (P)2012 Tantor

Critic reviews

"The practical tools to evaluate current relationships and step-by-step methods for avoiding betrayal, repairing relationships heading toward crisis, or healing a relationship after a crisis will be useful to couples who want to look honestly at healing chronic hurts and improving the state of their relationship, and are ready for a system to help them." (Publishers Weekly)

The Key

What made the experience of listening to What Makes Love Last? the most enjoyable?

The insights - practical, profound - are marriage changing and life changing.

What did you like best about this story?

I immediately put to work the guidance on myself and with communicating with my wife, and there is a cloud of tension already lifting. We have hot spot topics that we typically avoid, to avoid arguing. But this book gave me a guide and the courage to open up that conversation, it happened lovingly and respectfully. It's a change I've been wishing for.

Any additional comments?

If you want to create more joy and connection in your marriage, regardless of being stuck in negative discontent or happy and content this book with bring you up. I give it my highest recommendation.

Read by Quagmire from Family Guy...

What made the experience of listening to What Makes Love Last? the most enjoyable?

Gottman is a seasoned expert on the subject of successful relationships.

What was one of the most memorable moments of What Makes Love Last??

The samples of dialogue between the therapist and various couples helped illustrate principles to me.

Did Peter Berkrot do a good job differentiating all the characters? How?

No :( His tone and inflection were the same for all samples of dialogue - but that's not really a big deal to me. What continually took me out of the book was how much he sounds like Quagmire from Family Guy.

If you were to make a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?

Want to know if you're going to get divorced? The answers are inside...

Great info

I liked this book a lot. I haven’t implemented any of it yet, but it aligns with other things I have read and incorporated into my relationship. The narrators voice trails off a lot, and made it hard to hear in the car sometimes. It was kind of irritating. Great book anyway.

Best Relationship Advice

Gottman hits it right on the head every time. sound relationship advice for every couple

Very practical

Really interesting. I appreciate his research based approach. I particularly enjoyed learning more relationship recovery techniques. I also saw areas where I need to be more careful with my relationships. This was a very readable book. Of this genre, he lacks the underlying grand theory that you find in Harville Hendrix and others, but this is a much more practical approach.

Narrator is annoying but good book

I liked the info and examples, but the dialogue acted out by the narrator was super annoying.

Wish I had read this long ago

very helpful, sage advice. Will listen again. Worth your while will share with others I care about

highly recommend

This book just spells it all out so clearly. I appreciate Dr Gottmans' wisdom and scientific study that provides answers to the ins and outs of a good marriage, and exposes what an unhealthy one is.

Hand it out to every engaged couple

What did you love best about What Makes Love Last??

This book is amazing - if you ever asked the question. This is the answer. Well written, well read - worth the buy. This book bundled with Hold me tight is all you need.

If you are single i recommend 'attached' however this is also a great book to have. '

What was one of the most memorable moments of What Makes Love Last??

Know when you are 'flooding' during an argument, and understand the horsemen.

What about Peter Berkrot’s performance did you like?

Enjoyable

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

The whole book has a lot of useful info.

Any additional comments?

Has some great info on affairs - I would also recommend 'Just Friends'

A Roadmap to Long Term Happiness

This book may be what saved my marriage; my very life. In it I found a short yet profound scientific approach to understanding love and long-term marriage success, regardless of circumstance or religious creed. Upon reading it I became overwhelmed with epiphanies and experienced a cascade of internal change which, while aimed at improving the relationship with my incredible spouse, has benefited me well beyond the proverbial walls of my marriage. I would highly recommend this to anyone willing to take an honest, measured and critical look at their life and themselves. Reading it with a partner will only amplify it's benefits and I look forward to putting in the work with the aids that come with the hard copy version.

Thank you Dr's Julie and John Gottman and all your staff. Your work is meaningful and greatly appreciated.