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Publisher's Summary

Everyone knows confidence when they see it; but seemingly no one can actually describe what goes into it or how to get it. The Nerd's Guide to Being Confident is an unconventional way of looking at one of the most basic and obvious human traits and what one can do to gain a little more of it without feeling like a phony. Laughter included.

©2013 Mark Manson (P)2013 Audible Inc.

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A More-Than-Pleasant Surprise

Anything with "The Nerd's Guide to" in the title always stokes my curiosity because I'm a major one. There were a couple of doubts that voiced themselves when I was considering buying this title, including the brevity of the recording and the fact that anything with "Confident" in the title is probably no more than a hyped-up pep talk, but alas, I decided to buy it anyway because, hey, it's only five bucks!

I was blown away, in a good way, by the ingenuity, practicality, simplicity, and impact that this author's writing had on me. I've just finished the book, so time will tell as to whether its writings make a long-term impact on my life, but if the tangible results are as impressive as the subjective conceptual amazement that I experienced while listening to this book, then this will prove to be the most life-changing books per-minute of any to which I've ever listened.

The author has an extremely entertaining and witty way of putting things that guys (at least I) deal with every day and offers--without bull--real ways to deal with it and change it (if change is actually what's called for). I'm a huge fan of the sarcasm-laden way in which he explains the foolproof way to make your life suck as much as possible, opening your eyes with every bullet point. The outro to the book is worth listening to once a day, every day, where he tells the sad story of most guys' normal mode of thinking and how, no matter what they have *going* for them, they always find a way (and when I say "they," I mean "I" also) to envy the next guy rather than have true appreciation for what they've already got.

Mark has sucker-punched me in the brain in the funniest way possible with this book, and I would (and will) highly recommend this book, and find and sign up for the author's blogs.

16 of 17 people found this review helpful

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  • Cynthia
  • Monrovia, California, United States
  • 02-17-14

For under 30 straight men. Maybe.

I downloaded Mark Hanson's "The Nerd's Guide to Being Confident" (2013) right before heading off for a day trip to Mt. Baldy. By the time I realized I was so totally NOT the target audience for this book, I had no signal and couldn't download a different book for the drive - so I listened anyway.

I'm not a recent male college grad with self esteem issues on my second or third real job, trying to get laid by a woman in 3 dates or less, as cheaply as possible. I am a straight woman, and I've dated more than one man who has (intuitively) followed Hanson's advice. Dated them once, and definitely no sex. Maybe a polite peck on the cheek.

Not that some of Hanson's advice isn't really good, because it is. Have varied interests. Don't compromise ethical or moral beliefs to date a woman. Don't use time worrying about why someone doesn't want to spend time with you or trying to get them interested - find someone who doesn't waste your time. Adjust your language so you don't mistake your (often temporary) feelings for what you are. Good hygiene is a necessity.

What doesn't work that Hanson advises is being a c**** a** that only talks about himself and his interests. Unless you happen to do something really, really, interesting (maybe you've discovered a brand new energy source that will also solve the drought? You work for JPL/CalTech and just discovered life on another planet?), there has to be give and take. Quite frankly, any girl that doesn't want to share at least a few things about herself is just shining you on to get the date over with, doesn't want you to know anything about her, and will never return your calls; or she has serious self esteem issues of her own. And if some girl does go to bed with you, worry about what she wants, not just what you are going to get out of it. Have some pride in what you do.

According to Hanson, "Some people think I'm an idiot" (from his website). I don't think he's a COMPLETE idiot, just a partial one.

33 of 47 people found this review helpful

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Excellent AudioBook for learning

loved it! i've listened to it alot since purchased this. its something you can listen to over, and over and over again. recommended it for sure.

i think i've learned more about my self after Reading this than ever before. it sure is a great book if you're interested in improving yourself. i can relate to most of the issues/problems he refers to.

- 20 Year old

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Witty, entertaining, and makes sense

I would absolutely recommend this if you struggle at all with a confidence level, something we all do at some time. Or in figuring out who you are. It does not tell you who you are or even HOW to be confident. It tells you the things that influence people's lives and make them see themselves and others in various lights, which help you pin point what in your own life you might want to look at and change. It is also amusing, its not dry, wake me up when its over, but light and serious at the same time. You will actually hear what he is saying and if you listen you can make changes and see differences in your life.

3 of 4 people found this review helpful

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  • Kim M.
  • Tampa, FL, United States
  • 02-20-14

Profanity and Shock-Value Content, But Instructive

What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?

I think the narration suited the content very well. However, I absolutely didn't expect the f-bombs and other profanity in a self-help book. An autobiography, comedy, or fiction... perhaps, but not with this. I identify as a nerd, but I'm less likely to identify with this book than might a 20-something male with socialization issues.

In short, you can absolutely get nuggets of value from this book, but you have to shift through a bit of angst-y window dressing to get there.

What could Mark Manson have done to make this a more enjoyable book for you?

I didn't feel like Manson understood his topic as it applies to women, nor did he make much effort to reach out to them.

What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?

Irritation, but also genuine admiration for a few very good observations that I'd love to deliver to my own boys... through the Mom filter.

Any additional comments?

Some great advice, but not what I expected based on the title alone. I am recommending this book to friends, but with the caveat that they understand what they're getting.

4 of 6 people found this review helpful

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  • Harvey
  • Trabuco Canyon, CA, United States
  • 02-21-14

do not wast your time

As other reviewers have noted, this book is geared to the 18-30 male. He has a few interesting insights. Given the shortness of the books, those insights are still too few and far between. Much of it is simply ramblings of a blogger with all the negative connotations intended. The author is way too concerned about sex and does expound crudely for no apparent reason. Mr Manson is clearly confident and happy with his sexual prowess, but I do not think he will really help anyone gain confidence and is not even funny.

7 of 11 people found this review helpful

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  • Teresa
  • NAMPA, ID, United States
  • 04-01-14

Be yourself.

I didn't think this was as bad as all the reviewers were going on about. Yes, the focus was more for adult males, but I gleaned some useful information from it. But hey it was free so I'm not complaining. I usually give free audio's about 10 minutes and if they don't jive with me I delete and move on and I finished this one. Thanks audible for the freebie.

2 of 3 people found this review helpful

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Depressing, Foul-Mouthed Rambling on Selfishness

You shouldn't waste your money, time, or mood. Read "How to Win Friends and Influence People" if you need confidence.

3 of 5 people found this review helpful

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How was this even published? It’s not geared towards ‘nerds’ at all.

Let me start out by saying that I may not be his target demographic. Clearly his target audience doesn’t include anyone who isn’t a) first world AND college educated might I add, b) middle to upper class, since ‘be grateful since if you’re listening to this it means you will never experience true poverty...’ c) from a healthy(ish?) two-parented family (or with parents and family at all), and d) own a car and television. Yes, because apparently we all have those.

He specifically hit those bullet points. In his chapter ‘shut up and he grateful’. Right out the gate. You see, we all fit that ideal, and we just don’t appreciate enough what privileged educated kids we are! If I were more appreciate of these things, I’d be ever so happy! What a revelation. Wow. I feel so enlightened!

Lord knows when a book starts out telling me to ‘shut up and be grateful’ for the parents it assumes I have since they smother me because they care, To shut up and be grateful for the CAR and the TV and the amenities it assumes that, of course, I must have, For the college education that clearly if I’m listening to this audiobook, I have. When a book starts out like that, the target demographic must be quite narrow, since apparently the definition of ‘nerd’ isn’t as all inclusive across socioeconomic lines as previously thought. It can’t be talking to anyone without parents, without a car or a college education, without reliable steady income, just. Without. In the first five minutes this book managed to undermine my confidence in what I do have, in what I can be proud of, by rubbing my nose in what I don’t while declaring I should be thankful for my privileges. I think I’ll find my confidence elsewhere, thanks.

And yes I know this book might be targeting the stereotype of ‘special snowflake’ millennial. The ones who got trophies just for attending, and who require safe spaces in all social venues free of ‘triggers’ they manifested by browsing reddit and getting PTSD by proxy. Yeah, I get that. However, don’t write a book about confidence building for nerds if it’s not really for ‘nerds.’ That’s not what a nerd is.

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Decent

Narrator was kind of monotonous, some of the parts I was thinking "what does this have to do with confidence?"

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 03-07-17

Wow

Bunch of 'woah' moments listening to this great narrator to, definitely going to listen again.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 01-19-17

This book was worth every penny!!

Love anything by Mark Manson. This was a great quick listen. I've already listened to the whole audiobook twice and the last chapter about 5 times. Would have bought it just for that chapter.

3 of 4 people found this review helpful

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  • pm
  • 12-24-17

Boring and patronising

This was neither helpful nor entertaining. It may have been that the narrator sounded too preachy, making it worse. There are no new ideas here unless one has been living in a well and never been exposed to such concepts.

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  • Emile
  • 12-05-17

direct hit

worth the money. I'd pay £40 for this book. I was thinking "wubba lubba dub dub" and this brought me through to thinking "why"

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  • cool-dood
  • 07-01-17

really enjoyed this book

really enjoyed this book, I found it as engaging as the subtle art of not giving f**k

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  • misskittycat
  • 05-15-17

Don't waste your time

A rambling mess, and a massive disappointment after Models which was an infinitely better read

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  • Kindle Customer
  • 10-10-17

some great insights

After reading several meditation books this book does a better job of getting to the message. Let down a bit by the teenage mentality of chasing girls