Mating in Captivity

Reconciling the Erotic & the Domestic

By: Esther Perel

Narrated by: Esther Perel

Length: 8 hrs and 8 mins

Publisher's summary

Esther Perel takes on tough questions, grappling with the obstacles and anxieties that arise when our quest for secure love conflicts with our pursuit of passion. She invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home.

In her 20 years of clinical experience, Perel has treated hundreds of couples whose home lives are empty of passion. They describe relationships that are open and loving, yet sexually dull. What is going on?

In this explosively original book, Perel explains that our cultural penchant for equality, togetherness, and absolute candor is antithetical to erotic desire for both men and women. Sexual excitement doesn't always play by the rules of good citizenship. It is politically incorrect. It thrives on power plays, unfair advantages, and the space between self and other. More exciting, playful, even poetic sex is possible, but first we must kick egalitarian ideals and emotional housekeeping out of our bedrooms.

While Mating in Captivity shows why the domestic realm can feel like a cage, Perel's take on bedroom dynamics promises to liberate, enchant, and provoke. Flinging the doors open on erotic life and domesticity, she invites us to put the "X" back in sex.

©2006 Esther Perel (P)2006 HarperCollins Publishers

Critic reviews

"As revelatory as it is straightforward....Perel sanctions fantasy and play and offers the estranged modern couple a unique richness of experience." (Publishers Weekly)

Ignore the naysaying. The book is fantastic.

Do you want committed, connected love to stay hot? Do you think it’s impossible, but wish it weren’t? Haven’t you seen the rare couples for whom it is true? Listen to the book. Ester Perel is a jewel with a very good point.

Great content.

The book itself is very interesting, as I expected, having listened to Esther's other works.
The narration, though, was somewhat flat. I don't know if it's because I compared it with Esther's audible series of interviews with couples, but I found it a little monotone. Like she was just reading the book without really feeling, living it. Which is weird, since she's the author. It's great content nonetheless, and worth listening to.

I've gained a different perspective on my sexuality.

I love the non American perspective Esther brings to the discussion of sex and our preoccupation with the penis. The clitoral complex rarely gets any of the lime light. Think"She Comes First." Amazing book.

Through this book I've been able to come to terms with my actions as a monogamous married man of 10 years and why things are the way they are in the bedroom. I can make them better, I think.

Amazing book if one is willing to do some soul searching and non-egoic perusal of one's beliefs and preprogramming from childhood.

Must Read for anyone in a relationship

Fascinating. Great, imaginative, realistic ideas for maintaining passion in a committed relationship. I couldn't put it down.

Recommended to many friends!

Very powerful book for couples. I appreciate how Esther is so bold but understanding. Don't let the title intimidate you!

Masterful

So far out of all the books and workshops I've done, she's the best! She gets it. She gets me. I feel like there really is a way for me to have love, desire, spontaneity, passion, security, fulfillment, in a long term relationship. Thank you Ester, God bless you!

Very anecdotal

I appreciate much of this book. But it felt like at least 90% of it was anecdotal- which makes it interesting but made me wish for more direct or applicable insight from the author.

Fantastic

Interesting, poignant, and refreshing. Perel's voice and diction is hypnotic! Looking forward to her upcoming book which I hope she narrates once again.

Very logical and insightfull analysis.

A great analysis to help comprehend the why on marriage sex problems. A guide to reflexion on the subject. Great reading for both individuals in a long term couple relationship.

Stop! Now listen.

This collection of stories about the ways in which eroticism is woven into our lives and relationships is thought-provoking and affirming, especially for those who sorely need reassurance that pursuing a stronger erotic bond with one's partner is a worthy endeavor. You won't find this to be a ten-step approach to better sex; rather, the author explores the value of eroticism and makes a case for embracing - and reigniting - it in committed relationships. I caught glimpses of myself throughout and found Perel's insight in each scenario to be surprising, playful and profound. Go ahead, already! Read this book!