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Mating in Captivity Audiobook

Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic & the Domestic

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Publisher's Summary

Esther Perel takes on tough questions, grappling with the obstacles and anxieties that arise when our quest for secure love conflicts with our pursuit of passion. She invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home.

In her 20 years of clinical experience, Perel has treated hundreds of couples whose home lives are empty of passion. They describe relationships that are open and loving, yet sexually dull. What is going on?

In this explosively original book, Perel explains that our cultural penchant for equality, togetherness, and absolute candor is antithetical to erotic desire for both men and women. Sexual excitement doesn't always play by the rules of good citizenship. It is politically incorrect. It thrives on power plays, unfair advantages, and the space between self and other. More exciting, playful, even poetic sex is possible, but first we must kick egalitarian ideals and emotional housekeeping out of our bedrooms.

While Mating in Captivity shows why the domestic realm can feel like a cage, Perel's take on bedroom dynamics promises to liberate, enchant, and provoke. Flinging the doors open on erotic life and domesticity, she invites us to put the "X" back in sex.

©2006 Esther Perel; (P)2006 HarperCollins Publishers

What the Critics Say

"As revelatory as it is straightforward....Perel sanctions fantasy and play and offers the estranged modern couple a unique richness of experience." (Publishers Weekly)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

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  •  
    Monica Olszewski 08-02-16 Member Since 2013
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    "Boring"

    I just can't get into this book. Dr. Jamie Turndorf has a podcast with better, more positive and proactive advice. This book makes me feel trapped and depressed and I don't like it! I'm too happy for this, just looking for some fun tips and info, not some dragging rambling, not even sure what this author is talking about.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Kimmi 02-01-12
    Kimmi 02-01-12

    Choose Joy!

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    "Save your money."

    "Familiarity breeds contempt" as in marriage, so with this audiobook.

    I am so disappointed. I am halfway through this audiobook and I have yet to see any actionable steps. I fell asleep between hours 4-5, and I doubt I will go back and listen to the material I missed unless I have nothing else on my virtual book shelf to occupy my attention.

    The book is a painful recount of the stories of the psychologist's patients, and nearly every problem that could exist in the bedroom. The only thing it did do well was to give me the impression that I was certainly not alone in my boredom and dissatisfaction. I already knew that. I wanted to know what to do about it! That's why I bought the book.

    I kept thinking it would get better if I kept going, but not yet, and not likely from what I can tell.

    If you want to know how to make your marriage better and the sex more interesting, buy a different book, like a technique manual, or use the gentler steps in the Art of Seduction. Better yet try for French Women Don't Sleep Alone. Same content, but more entertaining, and better suggestions on how to fix the problem. Definitely don't waste your time or money on this one.

    13 of 19 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Craig H. Ohio 01-26-10
    Craig H. Ohio 01-26-10

    I'm a Cardiac Anesthesiologist with two college aged children. I used 2 check my kid's books for appropriateness & now enjoy those books 2.

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    "Nice Ideas"

    Nice Ideas but not so much in the great information. It may have helped a bit but both have to want a change not just one.

    3 of 4 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Chris Markham, Ontario, Canada 05-26-09
    Chris Markham, Ontario, Canada 05-26-09 Member Since 2015
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    "Illuminating..."

    Fascinating review of contemporary sexuality and its evolution in our society. How do couples navigate the winding road of eroticism in the flesh and in the mind?

    Sad to hear so many couples are living without great sex in their relationships. Sadder still to hear that many couples believe such an outcome is a natural part of coupling and marriage.

    Dr. Perel challenges some of the established thoughts about pleasure, excitement and eroticism shared between couples in committed relationships.

    An illuminating read...

    10 of 15 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Tatiana Schnadenberg 08-02-16
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    "Incredible Book"

    Absolutely loved this book and couldn't get it read fast enough! I will recommend this to everyone!

    2 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    rykms 07-30-15
    rykms 07-30-15
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    "All the insight is at the end"

    I got this book because her Ted talks are done if the best I've ever seen. I was not as impressed with the writing early on in the book, but the sophisticated and respectful insight she gets to in the last two chapters made it all highly worth it.

    2 of 3 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Amazon Customer Puyallup, WA 06-24-17
    Amazon Customer Puyallup, WA 06-24-17 Member Since 2002
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    "Wow. Where was this book when I was 30?"

    From the clinical to the untouchable, my private thoughts have been forever expanded graciously. I am freer with the time invested to listen.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    George G Relyea 06-22-17 Member Since 2017
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    "Wonderful, a mindful refuge from societies endless conditioning."

    I really appreciate the way she puts every part of this book. It's very difficult to listen and consider within yourself and reform while maintaining contentment within a relationship, this book is a refuge from stigma and conditioning and leaves me feeling confident in this endeavor.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Dason 06-22-17
    Dason 06-22-17 Member Since 2015
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    "Extremely Incisive arguments for better sex"

    Wow. I'm going to need to listen to this one a few more times. Esther is a great speaker, thinker and doer in delicately dissecting the erotic. If nothing else this book will help you confront many of your dominate ideologies surrounding sex. It's opened my eyes wider to the vast constellation of possibilities and the specific responsibility we all have to divine what is is we really "want" and take actions to communicate and achieve this.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Andre 06-22-17
    Andre 06-22-17 Member Since 2014
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    "Read with your partner. "

    Practical advice that can be applied to a relationship. Helps you understand all the different dynamics involved in sustaining a happy sex life.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

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