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How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
- Narrated by: Susan Bennett
- Length: 8 hrs and 24 mins
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Publisher's summary
“This parenting book actually made me a better parent.” (Lydia Kiesling, The New York Times)
From number-one New York Times best-selling authors, the ultimate “parenting bible” (The Boston Globe) - a timeless, beloved book on how to effectively communicate with your child.
This best-selling classic by internationally acclaimed experts on communication between parents and children includes fresh insights and suggestions, as well as the author’s time-tested methods to solve common problems and build foundations for lasting relationships, including innovative ways to:
- Cope with your child’s negative feelings, such as frustration, anger, and disappointment
- Express your strong feelings without being hurtful
- Engage your child’s willing cooperation
- Set firm limits and maintain goodwill
- Use alternatives to punishment that promote self-discipline
- Understand the difference between helpful and unhelpful praise
- Resolve family conflicts peacefully
Enthusiastically praised by parents and professionals around the world, Faber and Mazlish’s down-to-earth, respectful approach makes relationships with children of all ages less stressful and more rewarding.
Critic reviews
"Will bring about more cooperation from children than all the yelling and pleading in the world." (Christian Science Monitor)
"An excellent book that’s applicable to any relationship." (Washington Post)
"Practical, sensible, lucid... the approaches Faber and Mazlish lay out are so logical you wonder why you read them with such a burst of discovery." (Family Journal)
Featured Article: Best Audiobooks on Communication
Communication is essential to getting along and getting ahead—but for most of us, it's a skill we're expected to simply pick up as we move through life. Not surprisingly, there might be a lot you don't know about communicating with others. Luckily, communication is a widely studied and well-researched field. Many experts and authors have gathered their best advice and techniques to help you improve your communication skills and, by extension, improve your relationships. Here are some of the best audiobooks on communication to help you get better at listening, speaking, and connecting.
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-
Story
In this invaluable audiobook, Amy McCready, founder of the popular online parenting course Positive Parenting Solutions, presents a nag-and-scream-free program for compassionately yet effectively, correcting your children's bad behavior. McCready draws on Adlerian psychology and Positive Discipline, which focuses on the central idea that every human being has a basic need to feel connected and empowered - children being no exception to the rule.
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Great book, will test
- By Jared on 05-21-15
By: Amy McCready
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Not My Boy!
- A Father, a Son, and One Family's Journey with Autism
- By: Rodney Peete, Danelle Morton
- Narrated by: Richard Allen
- Length: 6 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
"Like most fathers, I'd dreamt of doing all sorts of things with my son. I had so many plans, but when I was told my son was autistic, those plans seemed more like a fantasy. Well, eight years after that dreadful diagnosis, I am writing this book to let every father know that your plans for you and your son can still be a reality. It's just the path that takes you there that has to be altered."
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Loved This Book. Thank-you to the Peetes for sharing your Autism journey as parents.
- By Amazon Customer on 03-25-18
By: Rodney Peete, and others
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Carly's Voice
- Breaking Through Autism
- By: Arthur Fleischmann, Carly Fleischmann
- Narrated by: Patrick Lawlor, Cassandra Campbell
- Length: 11 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
At the age of two, Carly Fleischmann was diagnosed with severe autism and an oral motor condition that prevented her from speaking. Doctors predicted that she would never intellectually develop beyond the abilities of a small child. Although she made some progress after years of intensive behavioral and communication therapy, Carly remained largely unreachable. Then, at age 10, Carly had a breakthrough....
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A peek inside...
- By Yolanda on 08-09-13
By: Arthur Fleischmann, and others
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Why Your Kids Misbehave
- And What to Do about It
- By: Kevin Leman
- Narrated by: Dean Gallagher
- Length: 7 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You've tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. That's because you're not addressing the root reasons for why kids misbehave, says international parenting expert Dr. Kevin Leman. In this book, he reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work...and are a long-term win for both of you
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Must read for every parent!
- By Scott yttri on 05-18-22
By: Kevin Leman
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Educating Esme
- By: Esme Raji Codell
- Narrated by: Esme Raji Codell
- Length: 2 hrs and 53 mins
- Abridged
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We all have a lot to learn from the diary of a teacher named Esmé Raji Codell, an educator who has struggled to maintain individuality in the face of bureaucracy and whose defiant stand against mediocrity will reverberate in companies as well as classrooms everywhere.
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Excellent inspiration for educators....
- By S. Connolly on 08-05-03
By: Esme Raji Codell
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Parenting Without Power Struggles
- Raising Joyful, Resilient Kids While Staying Cool, Calm, and Connected
- By: Susan Stiffelman
- Narrated by: Susan Stiffelman
- Length: 8 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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While most parenting programs are designed to coerce kids to change, Parenting Without Power Struggles does something innovative, showing you how to help your children awaken their natural instincts to cooperate, rather than employing threats or bribes, which inevitably fuels their resistance. By staying calm and being the confident "captain of the ship" your child needs, you will learn how to parent from a place of strong, durable connection, and you'll be better able to help your kids navigate the challenging moments of growing up.
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Highly recommended.
- By Nothing really matters on 10-13-13
By: Susan Stiffelman
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It's Ok Not to Share and Other Renegade Rules for Raising Competent and Compassionate Kids
- By: Heather Shumaker
- Narrated by: Laurel Lefkow
- Length: 10 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Parenting can be such an overwhelming job that it's easy to lose track of where you stand on some of the more controversial subjects at the playground (What if my kid likes to rough house - isn't this ok as long as no one gets hurt? And what if my kid just doesn't feel like sharing?). In this inspiring and enlightening book, Heather Shumaker describes her quest to nail down "the rules" to raising smart, sensitive, and self-sufficient kids.
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great book with exception of some disagreeing poin
- By Anonymous User on 05-04-22
By: Heather Shumaker
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How Toddlers Thrive
- What Parents Can Do Today for Children Ages 2-5 to Plant the Seeds of Lifelong Success
- By: Tovah P. Klein PhD
- Narrated by: Tovah P. Klein PhD, Sarah Jessica Parker - foreword
- Length: 10 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
Why do some children thrive and others struggle? The answers may surprise you. New research indicates that the seeds for adult success are actually planted in the toddler years. Dr. Tovah Klein's research and firsthand work with thousands of toddlers explains why the toddler brain is best suited to laying the foundation for success. Dr. Klein reveals the new science behind drivers such as resilience, self-reliance, self-regulation, and empathy that are more critical to success than simple intelligence.
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Redundant
- By odotwu on 05-08-18
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Discipline That Lasts a Lifetime
- The Best Gift You Can Give Your Kids
- By: Dr. Ray Guarendi
- Narrated by: Dr. Ray Guarendi
- Length: 7 hrs and 10 mins
- Abridged
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Overall
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Performance
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In this popular book, Dr. Ray focuses directly on discipline, answering over 100 of the most common and most frustrating discipline questions parents ask. Sibling quarrels, bedtime issues, temper tantrums, whining, willfulness, school, tattling: If kids do it and parents face it, this book aims to address it—with a healthy dose of humor and down-to-earth practicality.
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Great advice!
- By Christopher on 01-16-12
By: Dr. Ray Guarendi
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The Me, Me, Me Epidemic
- A Step-by-Step Guide to Raising Capable, Grateful Kids in an Over-Entitled World
- By: Amy McCready
- Narrated by: Margaret Strom
- Length: 12 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Whenever Amy McCready mentions the "entitlement epidemic" to a group of parents, she is inevitably met with eye rolls, nodding heads, and loaded comments about affected children. It seems everywhere one looks, there are preschoolers who only behave in the grocery store for a treat, narcissistic teenagers posting selfies across all forms of social media, and adult children living off their parents. Parenting expert Amy McCready reveals in this book that the solution is to help kids develop healthy attitudes in life.
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Longer than it needs to be, condescending narration, but did have some good tidbits
- By Areeeee on 09-27-19
By: Amy McCready
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The Journal of Best Practices
- A Memoir of Marriage, Asperger Syndrome, and One Man's Quest to Be a Better Husband
- By: David Finch
- Narrated by: David Finch
- Length: 6 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
At some point in nearly every marriage, a wife finds herself asking, "What is wrong with my husband?!" In David Finch's case, this turns out to be an apt question. Five years after he married Kristen, the love of his life, they learn that he has Asperger syndrome. The diagnosis explains David's ever-growing list of quirks and compulsions, his lifelong propensity to quack and otherwise melt down in social exchanges, and his clinical-strength inflexibility. But it doesn't make him any easier to live with.
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I wish I had read this many years ago
- By Patrick on 05-02-12
By: David Finch
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Twilight Children
- Three Voices No One Heard Until a Therapist Listened
- By: Torey Hayden
- Narrated by: Jorjeana Marie
- Length: 9 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
A light in the darkness for severely troubled children, former special education teacher Torey Hayden faced three of her most extraordinary challenges after she left the classroom. Nine-year-old Cassandra, kidnapped by her father and found starving, dirty, and picking through garbage cans - a child prone to long silences and erratic, violent behavior, whose hard-won recollections of the nightmare she endured could not be fully trusted.
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loved it.
- By Lace M. Jackson on 06-23-17
By: Torey Hayden
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Hunt, Gather, Parent
- What Ancient Cultures Can Teach Us About the Lost Art of Raising Happy, Helpful Little Humans
- By: Michaeleen Doucleff
- Narrated by: Michaeleen Doucleff
- Length: 11 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In Hunt, Gather, Parent, Doucleff sets out with her three-year-old daughter in tow to learn and practice parenting strategies from families in three of the world’s most venerable communities: Maya families in Mexico, Inuit families above the Arctic Circle, and Hadzabe families in Tanzania. She sees that these cultures don’t have the same problems with children that Western parents do.
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I wish they had a professional narrator
- By Anonymous User on 03-26-21
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Small Admissions
- A Novel
- By: Amy Poeppel
- Narrated by: Carly Robins
- Length: 9 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Despite her innate ambition and summa cum laude smarts, Kate Pearson has turned into a major slacker. After being dumped by her handsome French "almost fiancé", she abandons her grad school plans and spends her days lolling on the couch, leaving her apartment only when a dog-walking gig demands it. Her friends don't know what to do other than pass tissues and hope for a comeback while her practical sister, Angela, pushes every remedy she can think of, from trapeze class to therapy to job interviews.
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For fans of "Where'd You Go, Bernadette ?"
- By RueRue on 01-16-17
By: Amy Poeppel
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The message is great but the narration and writing style cringey
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No-Drama Discipline
- The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind
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I Can See Light At The End Of My Tunnel
- By G Busi on 02-23-15
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How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t with Your Kids
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Stop the yelling, lose the guilt, and become a calmer, happier parent. Drawing on evidence-based practices, here is an insight-packed and tip-filled plan for how to stop the parental meltdowns. Its compassionate, pragmatic approach will help listeners feel less ashamed and more empowered to get their, ahem, act together instead of losing it.
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Good content written poorly
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The Whole-Brain Child
- 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind
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In this pioneering, practical book, Daniel J. Siegel, neuropsychiatrist and author of the bestselling Mindsight, and parenting expert Tina Payne Bryson offer a revolutionary approach to child rearing with twelve key strategies that foster healthy brain development, leading to calmer, happier children. The authors explain—and make accessible—the new science of how a child’s brain is wired and how it matures.
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Several comments on the brain were incorrect.
- By Abelle & Dorian on 04-18-23
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How to Talk So Teens Will Listen and Listen So Teens Will Talk
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Internationally acclaimed parenting experts Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish have helped millions of families with their breakthrough, best-selling books. Now, they return with a lively, down-to-earth guide that tackles the tough issues teens and parents face today. After years of research, lecturing, and feedback, Faber and Mazlish have developed an innovative approach to maintaining a candid, open, mutually respectful dialogue between parents and teens.
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Might be OK with different narrators
- By Roxanne on 02-14-08
By: Adele Faber, and others
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How to Talk So Little Kids Will Listen
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- By: Joanna Faber, Julie King
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The message is great but the narration and writing style cringey
- By Elliott Family on 07-23-19
By: Joanna Faber, and others
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Raising Good Humans
- A Mindful Guide to Breaking the Cycle of Reactive Parenting and Raising Kind, Confident Kids
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Great Book About Parenting and Teaching Kindness!
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Highlighting the fascinating link between a child’s neurological development and the way a parent reacts to misbehavior, No-Drama Discipline provides an effective, compassionate road map for dealing with tantrums, tensions, and tears - without causing a scene. Defining the true meaning of the “d” word (to instruct, not to shout or reprimand), the authors explain how to reach your child, redirect emotions, and turn a meltdown into an opportunity for growth.
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I Can See Light At The End Of My Tunnel
- By G Busi on 02-23-15
By: Tina Payne Bryson PhD, and others
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How to Stop Losing Your Sh*t with Your Kids
- A Practical Guide to Becoming a Calmer, Happier Parent
- By: Carla Naumburg PhD
- Narrated by: Patricia Rodriguez
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Stop the yelling, lose the guilt, and become a calmer, happier parent. Drawing on evidence-based practices, here is an insight-packed and tip-filled plan for how to stop the parental meltdowns. Its compassionate, pragmatic approach will help listeners feel less ashamed and more empowered to get their, ahem, act together instead of losing it.
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Good content written poorly
- By Red Beard on 09-01-20
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The Whole-Brain Child
- 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind
- By: Daniel J. Siegel M.D., Tina Payne Bryson
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In this pioneering, practical book, Daniel J. Siegel, neuropsychiatrist and author of the bestselling Mindsight, and parenting expert Tina Payne Bryson offer a revolutionary approach to child rearing with twelve key strategies that foster healthy brain development, leading to calmer, happier children. The authors explain—and make accessible—the new science of how a child’s brain is wired and how it matures.
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Several comments on the brain were incorrect.
- By Abelle & Dorian on 04-18-23
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How to Talk So Teens Will Listen and Listen So Teens Will Talk
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Internationally acclaimed parenting experts Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish have helped millions of families with their breakthrough, best-selling books. Now, they return with a lively, down-to-earth guide that tackles the tough issues teens and parents face today. After years of research, lecturing, and feedback, Faber and Mazlish have developed an innovative approach to maintaining a candid, open, mutually respectful dialogue between parents and teens.
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Might be OK with different narrators
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By: Adele Faber, and others
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How to Talk When Kids Won't Listen
- Whining, Fighting, Meltdowns, Defiance, and Other Challenges of Childhood
- By: Joanna Faber, Julie King
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- Length: 8 hrs and 53 mins
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Faber and King have tailored How to Talk’s tried-and-trusted communication strategies to some of the most challenging childhood moments. From tantrums to technology to talking to kids about tough topics, How to Talk When Kids Won’t Listen offers concrete strategies for these and many more difficult situations.
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Hopeful and grateful Dad-to-be
- By It Ain't Necessarily So on 08-21-21
By: Joanna Faber, and others
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Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child
- The Heart of Parenting
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- Narrated by: Roy Worley
- Length: 8 hrs and 4 mins
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Based on 20 years of research at the University of Washington studying parent-child interactions, award-winning research psychologist John Gottman and his team have developed Emotion Coaching - a technique parents can use to teach their children self-awareness and self-control and to foster good emotional development. This proven technique has demonstrated a positive effect on children's physical health, academic achievement, and emotional well-being.
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My parenting philosophy, in writing!
- By Dave on 03-03-21
By: John Gottman PhD
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How to Talk So Kids Can Learn
- At Home and In School
- By: Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish
- Narrated by: Lisa Nyberg, Rosalyn Anstin Templeton
- Length: 1 hr and 44 mins
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Overall
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From America's leading experts on parent-child communication, authors of How To Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk and Siblings Without Rivalry, comes a breakthrough guide telling parents and techers how to handle one of the burning issues of our day: how to motivate kids to succeed in school at a time when schools are rife with violence and many students are openly rebellious.
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Too much abridgement
- By L. Thorne on 07-28-11
By: Adele Faber, and others
-
Siblings Without Rivalry
- How to Help Your Children Live Together So You Can Live Too
- By: Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish
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- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Siblings Without Rivalry guides the way to family peace and tranquility with humor and compassion for both parents and children. Action oriented and easy to understand, it's packed with sensitive yet sensible ways to turn quarreling siblings and frustrated parents into an open, communicative family.
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Doesn't Get to the Heart
- By D. Winn on 11-12-17
By: Adele Faber, and others
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The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read
- (And Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did)
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- Narrated by: Philippa Perry
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In this instant Sunday Times bestseller, leading psychotherapist Philippa Perry reveals the vital do's and don'ts of relationships. This is a book for us all. Whether you are interested in understanding how your upbringing has shaped you, looking to handle your child's feelings or wishing to support your partner, you will find indispensable information and realistic tips here. Philippa Perry's sane, sage and judgement-free advice is an essential resource on how to have the best possible relationships with the people who matter to you most.
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Excellent advice overall
- By Kindle Customer on 05-06-21
By: Philippa Perry
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Stop Yelling and Love Me More, Please Mom.
- Positive Parenting Is Easier than You Think: Happy Mom, Book 1
- By: Jennifer N. Smith
- Narrated by: Meg Price
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Overall
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Performance
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We can not raise a happy child if we are constantly screaming threats at them. No parent sets out to hurt their child, but this type of parenting does just that. To raise a happy child that wants to behave, you need to retrain yourself first. You need to change the way you think and react to their behavior. You need to understand your triggers and heal yourself. Only then you can begin to heal your relationship with your children.
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Nice information
- By Yesika on 09-27-19
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Good Inside
- A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be
- By: Becky Kennedy
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Performance
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Over the past several years, Dr. Becky Kennedy—known to her followers as “Dr. Becky”—has been sparking a parenting revolution. Millions of parents, tired of following advice that either doesn’t work or simply doesn’t feel good, have embraced Dr. Becky’s empowering and effective approach, a model that prioritizes connecting with our kids over correcting them. Parents have long been sold a model of childrearing that simply doesn’t work. From reward charts to time outs, many popular parenting approaches are based on shaping behavior, not raising humans.
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Sounds Wonderful, Does Not Work
- By R. Humphrey on 01-08-23
By: Becky Kennedy
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The 5 Love Languages of Children
- The Secret to Loving Children Effectively
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Overall
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Story
Every child has a unique way of feeling loved. When you discover your child's love language - and how to speak it - you can build a solid foundation for your child to trust you and flourish as he or she grows. In this audiobook for parents, teachers, single parents, and more, Drs. Gary Chapman and Ross Campbell offer practical advice for how to discover and speak your child's love language - in dozens of ways!
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"good content beware, heavy on religion "
- By Langenbergs on 02-15-20
By: Gary Chapman, and others
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Parenting from the Inside Out
- How a Deeper Self-Understanding Can Help You Raise Children Who Thrive
- By: Daniel J. Siegel M.D., Mary Hartzell M.Ed.
- Narrated by: Daniel J. Siegel M.D., Mary Hartzell M.Ed.
- Length: 6 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In this best-selling classic, child psychiatrist and coauthor of The Whole Brain Child, Daniel J. Siegel and early childhood expert Mary Hartzell explore the extent to which our childhood experiences shape the way we parent. Illuminating important research in the field of interpersonal neurobiology, Siegel and Hartzell explain how the parent-child relationship directly affects brain development, and offer parents a step-by-step approach to forming a deeper understanding of their own life stories to help them raise compassionate and resilient children.
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Please hire a professional narrator
- By John on 07-08-15
By: Daniel J. Siegel M.D., and others
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How to Be the Parent You Always Wanted to Be
- By: Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish
- Narrated by: Adele Faber, Elaine Mazlish
- Length: 1 hr and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Loaded with real-life stories and answers to commonly asked questions, this new multimedia edition demonstrates simple, proven skills that can make relationships with children of all ages less stressful and more rewarding.
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Summery of 'How to Talk'
- By Eyal Levin on 05-13-15
By: Adele Faber, and others
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You Are Not a Sh*tty Parent
- How to Practice Self-Compassion and Give Yourself a Break
- By: Carla Naumburg
- Narrated by: Rosemary Benson
- Length: 6 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Of course you think you’re doing a shitty job. Every parent does. It’s pretty much a byproduct of our society, with its incessant demands coupled with the in-your-face competitiveness parents see on social media. Unfortunately, the pandemic only made things worse, as parents juggled the stresses of helping their kids navigate online schooling while they also had to work from home. All of which makes Carla Naumburg’s new book utterly necessary. Naumburg delivers her message right up front, and she does it with her singular understanding, relatably funny voice, and keen insights.
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Useless platitudes
- By T on 11-28-23
By: Carla Naumburg
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The Montessori Toddler
- By: Simone Davies
- Narrated by: Susie Berneis
- Length: 7 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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This guide offers a step-by-step plan that helps parents cultivate daily routines so that they can turn life with toddlers into a mutually rich time of curiosity and learning.
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A good book with a lot of ideas
- By Dewey on 07-23-21
By: Simone Davies
What listeners say about How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk
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- John
- 01-02-13
Best. Parenting. Book. Ever.
What did you love best about How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk?
This is a very special (audio) book. It has transformed my relationship with my son and influenced how I listen and communicate in my professional life.
This book gets overwhelmingly positive reviews and I am writing this review to help other parents find this wonderful book.
My wife and I were very proud of our positive parenting. We had received many positive compliments from friends and strangers regarding our positive parenting. Unfortunately, when we hit a rash of poor behaviour when our son began attending school, we began to question ourselves and our parenting techniques. This uncertainty lead to a downward spiral of 'old school' discipline based parenting, turning every disagreement into a battle that had to be won. Instead of helping my son's discipline, it worsened. Each time it worsened, we decided we needed more discipline. The cycle continued until I found this book.
This book was similar to how we had initially decided to parent our son, but the devil is in the details and the notion that every interaction with my son could be an opportunity for him to communicate HIS thoughts and develop HIS decision making skills and confidence was a subtle yet extremely powerful shift in thinking. Its not only about me showing love and positivity to my son, its about ensuring he feels confident and positive about himself. Yes, there is a difference.
I have developed much more patience and understanding, as a result of this audiobook. There is no question that the daily interactions with my son take much longer, especially initially, though I have come to realize that this extra time is really important and essential to being a good parent. Like most things in life, long term effective solutions are always more time consuming and complex than short term quick fixes.
That being said, my son has now developed very effective problem solving and communication skills. These skills have have allowed us to spend our time and attention learning and sharing thoughts on how to solve problems; instead of locking wills and trying to defeat one another in a battle of wills.
After adopting the techniques in this book, I can honestly say that I have experienced a very special transformation in the relationship I have with my son. I am in awe of his creative problem solving skills, he surprises me daily, and we have developed an even deeper bond of love and support.
I recall thinking, as I listened to the audiobook, that a number of the examples seemed very hokey and the descriptions of how children would react to simple questions as a little too perfect. Yet once putting the techniques into practice, I found myself often reaching for paper to write down the incredible responses my son would have to the simple questions.
There is an example in the book, where it advises parents to consider the power of saying 'you must be proud of yourself', rather than 'I am proud of you'. I have seen a number of negative or mediocre reviews that cite this as a criticism. While I still mix in the odd 'I am proud of you' I will never forget the look of contemplation, nod of agreement and then smile of satisfaction my son's face when I first said 'you must be proud of yourself'. I could tell that he had not really thought of his good behaviour in terms of what it meant to him. Its now something he has developed strongly within himself.
He now thinks of himself as brave, loyal and kind. He sees every day as an opportunity to learn new things and solve his own problems.I don't expect that my son will always do what I want but I can count on him to confidently tell me why he acted a certain way and listen.
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243 people found this helpful
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- Amber D. Easley
- 04-26-19
Worksheets are free to download just google!
I wish I could respond to the reviews from people who mentioned that they wished they had bought the kindle/hard copy and let them know that the worksheets are available to download (and print) free online in a PDF! This was a relief for me as I began to listen to the audiobook, and realized the reviews were right! You really do need the worksheets to get the full benefit from this book. I just googled the title + "worksheets" and the first result was a free PDF download. Spread the info!
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230 people found this helpful
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- Robs
- 03-16-15
Not ideal in audio, but good none the less.
I like audio books because I can listen when I need to be looking at something else, or when I can't hold a book. Unfortunately this book contains worksheets which aren't available in audio format. Perhaps pdfs could be made available.
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145 people found this helpful
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- Rich
- 06-18-16
Sound Advice You Can Immediately Apply
Faber and Mazlish's "How to Talk" has endured for over 30+ years in countries all over the globe for good reason: the techniques taught in this book make logical sense, are easily applicable in your daily family life, and have immediate impact. Below is a bullet summary of my highlights from this title. While the read is short (I finished it in six days), the lessons are invaluable. Bennett's narration is fine--if anything, you can really crank the playback speed on this title, the material is easy to understand.
- Listen to and acknowledge your child's emotions. You wouldn't ignore physical hurt, so why would you ignore emotional hurt? Accepting your child's feelings are the cornerstone of this program. Limit the action of a negative feeling.
- At the same time, don't solve the child's problems. Reword the problem for them, perhaps be their brainstorm partner. ("What can we do to fix this?") Encourage them to generate solutions and talk. Foster autonomy. Give them choices ("either we can keep playing or read a bedtime story, but not both. You pick.").
- Can't get your child to behave the way you need them to? Objectively describe what you see, explain the consequence, explain your feelings. Often just one word ("pajamas!") or writing a note ("Dear Jack, I wish you would use me more. I miss you at night. Love, Your Toothbrush.") can communicate volumes.
- Sometimes, you shouldn't use please. Commands are commands, not favors.
- If your child is frustrated or on the verge of tantrum, make them draw on paper. Ask them to draw their feelings and confirm that you "see" how they feel. Often, the child can go from scribbling to drawing happy scenes in minutes once they have been acknowledged. (I actually saw this happen with the first time I tried this with my 3.5yo daughter!)
- Being "sorry" is more than a word. It means that you will change future behavior. Follow through with apologies.
- Punishment focuses on reprimanding the past. Consequences focus on improving the future. Always focus on improving the future when correcting the child. Done properly, future-focused consequences build trust. Punishments destroy trust. If there's a recurring problem, get to the core of the problem and fix THAT. ("I didn't know my child was so scared of the dark. That's why she keeps getting out of bed. Let's get some nightlights.")
- Do NOT talk about your kid like an object, especially if they are within earshot. If others are talking about your child's inabilities, openly state "when she's ready, she'll do that." That shows your confidence in your child that they will grow up independent someday.
- Praise MUST be descriptive. "Good" or "wonderful" by itself is empty and confusing. Describe what you see when you offer praise. Often, one-word praise is the best ("You helped take the dishes to the sink! That's one responsible girl."). These turn into immutable snapshots for the child.
- Developing self-esteem is one of the most important jobs as a parent. The world will do its job of trying to break self-esteem as they grow into adults. This is your chance to give them invaluable tools for life in self-praise by giving correct praise yourself.
- Never use comparisons as praise, especially with siblings.
- Pre-determined roles are a self-fulfilling prophecy. ("Jack is such a goof-off.") You as a parent can combat that. Show them literal or figurative pictures of themselves in more positive roles. Let the child hear you talk about them in a positive role. Be a memory for all their past good examples, recalling them to the child when necessary. If the child regresses, simply state your feelings and expectations.
- Preschoolers have a tough time with the concept of winning and losing. Let everyone finish the Candy Land course, don't just stop the game when the first person finishes.
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80 people found this helpful
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- familyman1
- 03-10-14
Great for Compliant, but NOT Strong Willed Child
What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?
Including information for difficult children, not just ones who are likely to respond to simple reasoning and soft consequences. (The author refuses to call anything punishment.)
What do you think your next listen will be?
Setting Limits with your Strong Willed Child. Robert MacKenzie.
Have you listened to any of Susan Bennett’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
No
You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?
Yes. I think the portions about open ended questions had benefit and I also do think this could be a good book for someone who already has a good mutually respectful relationship with their kid and just want ways to further improve that. However, these strategies will not work on more difficult kids, the so called strong willed child. This book will be very un-helpful for you.
Any additional comments?
When I 1st listened to this book I probably would have given it 4 or 5 stars, but after I tried using its techniques, I realized it was not written with 1 of my children in mind, which is why I bought the book in the 1st place. This book sounds good and indeed much in it is good for the "compliant child" which is why I am sure it does work good for some parents and their kids who are compliant. Furthermore, its intrinsically a very "passive parenting" approach that makes parents already doing this passive parenting feel good about what they are doing and indeed encourages them to double down on their current strategy, but does little to help them with more difficult, non compliant children. Although I really do use some of these strategies with my compliant children, it is a disaster for the others and I assure you they will walk all over you. So if you want a 'feel good" book that basically says, your doing great, keep being passive and keep do what "feels" like the best parenting method with little guidance on more difficult children, go for it. However, for those of us looking for books to help with our more difficult children, I recommend Setting Limits with your Strong Willed Child by Robert MacKenzie.
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60 people found this helpful
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- jill
- 08-13-12
Great Story but leaves me wanting to jot notes
Would you recommend this book to a friend? Why or why not?
Totally LOVE this book. I have read a lot of parenting books but this one seems to treat children as unique individuals with unique personalities who require unique care and upbringing. It emphasizes respect and autonomy for the child rather than punishment and rewards.
The trouble is that there are things in the book to ponder and consider and even role play. It is tough with an audio book. it was tough to give serious consideration on the fly with the next paragraph being read. Also, I found myself wanting to take a few notes to help me remember a few lessons that would help with my own children and unable to do so as I was commuting to work in the car.
I highly recommend this book and even though it is read very well I would suggest a paper copy rather than the audio version.
What was one of the most memorable moments of How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk?
showing respect for children
What about Susan Bennett’s performance did you like?
her tone of voice exemplified a 'normal' mother's voice showing happiness at times and exhaustion and frustration at times.
Did How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk inspire you to do anything?
treat my children better
Any additional comments?
I plan on buying the paper version so that I can refer to it often!
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55 people found this helpful
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- Tiana
- 08-05-19
identical to How to talk so LITTLE Kids Listen
I bought this to help me with my son that is getting to be a big kid, but it is identical to the book for little kids. If you have the little kid version, don't waste your money on this.
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24 people found this helpful
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- Tim
- 06-25-12
Might seem too soft for some but the results are proven!
I kept feeling conflicted by letting my 16 year old daughter get away with certain behaviors. Instead of fighting with her I acknowledge her feelings and she takes it from there. Very effective methods even if often they feel like you're letting your child get away with somethings you shouldn't. Intrinsic motivation is what's being encouraged. Wonderful book that has stood the test of 3 decades!
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17 people found this helpful
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- Tasha S.
- 04-20-16
Wow! Simply AMAZING!
This book has changed my way of thinking and how I communicate! This is not just for parents, but teachers and pretty much anyone else who spends time talking with children. Love this book!
These are skills easily transferable to communication with other adults as well. We all need to be a little more empathetic at times. :)
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9 people found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 09-22-12
Invaluable
What did you like best about this story?
This book provides practical how-to skills to use in handling challenging issues with children. In fact, many of the skills are quite useful in all relationships. I was able to immediately apply much of what I learned.
Any additional comments?
If you have children or work with children, don't hesitate to give this a listen. It really can be life-changing for you and the children in your life. The skills require practice and adaptation for each unique relationship, but they can make a radical difference in our relationships with children.
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