How to Become the Primary Narcissistic Supply to Your Narcissist: Covert Tactics to a Better Relationship in a Narcissist Epidemic

Transcend Mediocrity, Book 122

By: J.B. Snow

Narrated by: Valerie Clark

Length: 34 mins

Publisher's summary

Many people who have dated or chosen to marry narcissistic people come to me for help. They need to know how to relate to their narcissists. They must learn how to stay out of the lines of fire of the narcissists. They are stuck in cycles of abuse and manipulation, with seemingly no end in sight. They are distraught at the possibility of continuing the relationships, but they are also at a loss as to how to continue on without their partners.

A relationship with a narcissistic and self-absorbed person doesn't have to end. Despite the person being extremely immature and deficient in social, cognitive, and communication skills, he often still deserves to be loved and to belong. After all, acceptance and belonging are two of the most basic needs of human beings. Most humans deserve to feel some sense of acceptance and belonging, even if they have made mistakes or are immature in how they relate to others.

Narcissists make many mistakes, and they often don't know how to relate to other people. The more mistakes a narcissist makes in regard to relating to others, the bleaker and more dismal his outlook on life becomes. It is no wonder a narcissist will begin to have a conduct disorder, an adjustment disorder, or mental health issues. Even if narcissists want to relate in positive ways to others, experiences have shown that they cannot do so without a great deal of pain and frustration. And thus they might give up on relating positively with anyone at all.

But how does one begin to have a healthy relationship with a narcissist? Don't narcissists generally destroy any ability to have safe and healthy relationships by their very narcissistic natures? Doesn't their self-absorbed behavior conflict with the very acts of giving and intimacy that are necessary in an intimate relationship? Most of the time, a relationship with a narcissist cannot reach levels of personal security and freedom that are experienced in healthy relationships.

©2016 J.B. Snow (P)2016 J.B. Snow

Life changing

This book has just changed my life. I understand now I needed this, if you know someone like this..You must read this book. She makes it simple and easy to remember for when you need it most.

Its saying to be a doormat to the narcissist abuse

Basically you would have to endure all of the narcissist abusive behavior toward. you. Impossible! Without becoming messed up yourself is that really LOVE

Immensely helpful - short and sweet

Despite opinions of others- sometimes there really are good reasons to remain in a relationship with a narcissist. The tips in this book are super helpful and feel intuitively accurate in my soul. This will help me very much to not sink to his level as I have many times in the past.

How to Avoid being abused by your NARC...

1st real hope I've found of surviving, even thriving, in a NARC relationship. Thank You!

Realistic/practical advice

I have read dozens of books on the subject and the common approach to ‘how does one stay in a relationship with a narcissist’ is ‘here is some stuff you can try if you insist of being stupid and not leaving immediately, but really - nothing works and we know eventually you are going to want to leave anyhow’.
This is the first book that has an approach that doesn’t assume you are only interested in temporizing the situation and ‘surviving’ and has advice that assumes you want to have as much of a quality relationship as is possible in the situation.
Readers who complain that this suggests you ‘accommodate’ the narcissist do not ultimately understand narcissism. A relationship with a narcissist will NEVER be fair. Or emotionally rewarding/reciprocal in a ‘traditional’ sense. They are completely incapable of that for many reasons.
The consensus opinion is that ‘managing your expectations’ is key. This is all this book is suggesting. This is not martyrdom. It is simply that as a more emotionally mature person you will have to recognize what your narcissist’s buttons are and learn to work with that.

This is also one of the few books that doesn’t treat a narcissist like an unsalvageable dumpster fire and recognizes that under all the lashing out and blaster there is a hurt little boy/girl who has never felt loved, understood and supported.
Do you have to be the person to try to make up (and you never will) for years of emotional damage your narcissist has internalized so deeply it is now an integral part of their personality? Of course, not. But if for whatever reason this is a relationship you value and want to maintain - this is the best advice I have read. Just remember to manage expectations and expect to take care of most of your emotional needs yourself/elsewhere outside of this particular relationship.

Helpful, but frustrating

The content itself was alright. Unfortunately there is not really a super sweet, fair way to navigate a relationship with a narcissist. The reader of the book did a good job, but the quality of the sound was not very good. It sounded like she was moving close then moving away from the microphone.

helpful

can't wait to implement with my husband as I am at a loss in my marriage..

Interesting

Not only did this list help me figure out why my narc keeps coming back to me time and time again, but it is also helping me figure out how to create a smoother life with him going forward.

Not that convinced based on my experience..

Wasn't convinced based on my experience with my narc for 4 years ago in my life

the narrator has a easy, pleasant voice

the infrormation in the book was very helpful. most ebooks are hard for me to listen to. but this woman was calming and matter of fact in her delivery. thumbs up.