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Publisher's Summary

He's Just Not That Into You, based on the popular episode of Sex and the City, educates otherwise smart women on how to tell when a guy just doesn't like them enough, so they can stop wasting time making excuses for a dead-end relationship.

Reexamining familiar scenarios and classic mindsets that keep us in unsatisfying relationships, Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo's wise and wry understanding of the sexes spares women hours of waiting by the phone, obsessing over the details with sympathetic girlfriends, and hoping his mixed messages really mean "I'm in love with you and want to be with you".

He's Just Not That Into You is provocative, hilarious, and, above all, intoxicatingly liberating. It knows you're a beautiful, smart, funny woman who deserves better. The next time you feel the need to start "figuring him out", consider the glorious thought that maybe He's Just Not That Into You. And then set yourself loose to find the one who is.

©2004 Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo (P)2004 Simon & Schuster Audio

Critic Reviews

"By all means read this smart, funny, and surprisingly upbeat little book." (Publishers Weekly)

What members say

Average Customer Ratings


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  • Overall
  • Jenny
  • Los Angeles, CA, United States
  • 01-10-06

A good basic message.

In order to make this book more accessible, the authors often use easy maxims, such as "He doesn't call." to try to get the point across that "He's not that into you." This makes the book easy to criticize (and I have my own issue with "Women should never make the first move.").

However, after listening to the entire book, one realizes that the underlying message is that if the person you are dating (and I agree with previous reviewers that this book would help both men and women) is not treating you the way you want/deserve, you need to move on.

I do take issue with the previous reviewer who uses the example of a woman who talks of marriage before the salad; that is not who this book is for or about (perhaps he should FINISH the book before reviewing it).

Sadly enough, the examples used in this book include the woman who hopefully dates a married man for a year, or the other woman whose partner refuses to commit for whatever reason after many years. When years (and pride, I mean, please, a married person?!) are lost, "having fun" is no longer funny.

If anything, I do think this book PROMOTES dating, as it makes sure a woman doesn't get stuck on and "wait for" someone who is not good for her for the long run.

This book teaches me to spend my time with people who truly like me and who meet my standards of a decent human being. Not to much to ask for, is it?

13 of 13 people found this review helpful

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  • Tim
  • Los Angeles, CA, USA
  • 01-25-05

Dead-on Right!

I've recently encouraged a bunch of my "friends that are girls" to read/listen to this book. Really, the first two chapters are the keys. After that, it just goes into a few more examples and a little more detail.

It really IS as simple as the author states. If I'm into you, I'm going to do whatever I can to talk to you and spend time with you. If I am legitimately busy with unavoidable work conflicts, I'm going to constantly let you know this with phone calls and e-mails.

Get the book/audio. Use it to help make relationship decisions in your life. You'll be glad you did! :-)

8 of 8 people found this review helpful

  • Overall

Stop obsessing!

This book was a whole lotta fun in general. The great thing I got from it though was the ability to relax during the dating process. I now value my time and myself more and have learned to see each guy for who they really are instead of viewing them through a veil of overeager optimism. It is still a bummer to invest time in developing a relationship with someone only to have them flake out. At least now I'm not caught by suprise, I don't overinvest and certainly don't obsess. Life is just too short.

7 of 7 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
  • Joy
  • Annapolis MD United States
  • 12-17-04

There is some truth to this

Half way through the book I wanted to tell Greg he was full of it until he hit the nail on the head for something I go though on a regular basis with men. So yes, this book may really piss you off, but it's possible that if you were drawn to this book in the first place, that you'll find yourself in one of the situations described in here. I'll think about that one paragraph everytime I find myself yearning for some guy "Who's just not into me" and I'll know it before I lead myself along too long.
Sometimes I think that Greg's tendency to tell you to walk away right away is a little too cut and dry, but it's possible that he's right and I'm not ready to accept what he's saying...but that is the point of the book....we all spend too much time thinking some guy is worth waiting for and all we're doing is wasting precious time. If anything, it gives you something to really look at within yourself.

14 of 15 people found this review helpful

  • Overall

Absolutely Priceless Audio Book!

This is by far the best audio book I have ever heard! I've listened over and over again. The way it's written, the way it's narrated...all awesome. I want to take every tidbit of information and post it on my bathroom remind myself of all the good information. I liked it so much I'm going to buy the book for additional reference. It was nice to hear a former-player's perspective. It was empowering and helped me to remember that just because the guy may not be that into me, does NOT mean that it's my fault or my problem. I'm tired of settling for crumbs, and this audio reminds us all that we can simply say "no" and walk away. GREAT AUDIO BOOK!

5 of 5 people found this review helpful

  • Overall

He's Just Not That Into You

Even it you think you know it all when it comes to dating, its a must read for all who date. If your in your twenties its a must read, your thirties, and up its a refresher corse, also a must read. The main reason is that men and women think differently, and as much as the world changes and times keep changing, we as women need this info to keep us from getting hurt.

5 of 5 people found this review helpful

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  • U. Gruber
  • Chicago, IL United States
  • 01-01-05

The truth is frightening

Five minutes of listening to this book convinced me I ought to have had it as a guide for my last five relationships. Oh well.

5 of 5 people found this review helpful

  • Overall

We Are Pathetic

Women are taught, at a very early age, how to stay in relationships. They know how to connect interpersonally. Men, on the other hand, are taught, at an early age, how to get into relationships... and that's it. That is all they know.

As a guy, I have recommended this book to every single woman I know. It is painful, but it is the truth. If you want to know what goes through a guy's mind (or what isn't going through it) listen to this book.

28 of 32 people found this review helpful

  • Overall

A "need to read" for every woman

Every women needs to hear this one. The information is priceless and the delivery is entertaining. This book has some serious and sometimes disheartening information, but it is delivered in an upbeat and humorous way. It is a first rate course in "when to stop wasting your time and go find someone who appreciates you" and the continuing theme is "you deserve better than that"! Be educated, entertained, and encouraged. This book was a great listen and as soon as I was done, I gave it to my daughters. -- A great gift for the women you know!

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
  • Emi
  • toronto, ON, Canada
  • 01-14-05

This book helps me a lot !!

I'll never wait his call anymore.
I won't waste my precious time for a jerk.
I really recommend women to read this book.
It'll make you strong for sure!!

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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  • Jennifer
  • 10-23-17


Made me giggle and definitely get over the two exes I’ve managed to collect over the summer. Warmly recommend. (Would love to see an updated ‘post-Facebook era’ version though!)

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  • Laura
  • 06-13-16

An overdose of self confidence!

An overdose of self confidence for strong independent women. Funny and so entertaining. Highly recommend it.

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  • Niamh
  • 01-22-15

Essential Reading to maintain your sanity

If you could sum up He's Just Not That Into You in three words, what would they be?

Honest, Witty and a sanity saver!

Who was your favorite character and why?

Greg - his brutal honesty is exactly what every single woman embarking on the dating world should hear. I wish I'd had somebody like him to listen to a long time ago!

What does Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo bring to the story that you wouldn’t experience if you had only read the book?

Great wittiness, honesty and the back and forth question and answer agony column style is fantastic.

Did you have an emotional reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

This was recommended to me by a friend who didn't give anything away before hand. I expected (as most self help books are) for it to be a deep explanation into the why's and why not's. I was pleasantly surprised. I couldn't stop laughing at the scenario's it threw up as I could familiarize with all the excuses we as women make rather than look at the obvious. Wonderfully humorous!

Any additional comments?

In order to maintain any form of sanity in a very difficult dating world as a woman, I strongly recommend this book. I only wish I'd come across it years ago and saved myself a lot of years with the wrong guys!

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  • Trine
  • 01-06-15

A must-read for any girl!

This book is called 'the bible' among my friends. It is a great reminder to 'not waste the pretty' and dont waste time on guys who are really not that into you, who are not making an effort to see you or to make you feel good.
A must-read for every girl - single, dating or married

  • Overall
  • Lucy
  • 12-23-12

An amusing look into a mans feelings

A very amusing insight to how a man reacts when he's not into you. This book will tell you what noone else dares to but what you really need to hear. Well worth a read if you or your freinds are looking for the right man still.

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  • Kindle Customer
  • 06-30-17

wish it wasn't true but it is.

sigh. this book could've saved me many a sleepless night if I'd have read it sooner.

truth bombs everywhere.

raining down.

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  • Vivien Yin
  • 02-21-17

OK, no one is that into me, I get it!

OK, no one is that into me, I get it! very clear, like black and white.