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Publisher's Summary

Why do we experience recurring struggles in our relationships? And why do traumatic events - such as a physical injury, emotional threat, loss of a loved one, or other life crisis - so often awaken or amplify our sense of fear, anger, isolation, or helplessness?

From our earliest years, teaches Diane Poole Heller, we develop an attachment style that follows us through life, replaying in our intimate relationships, with our children, and at work. And traumatic events can deeply affect that core relational blueprint.

With Healing Your Attachment Wounds, a pioneer in attachment theory and trauma resolution brings together these two fields to help us understand and benefit from their complementary principles and methods.

This in-depth audio learning program sheds light on the three styles of insecure attachment - Avoidant, Ambivalent, and Disorganized - and the ideal fourth style of Secure attachment, where we enjoy a foundation of safety, adaptability, and intimacy with others.

The good news is that we can change, regardless of our early or current life experiences.

"As we heal and move toward Secure attachment," teaches Heller, "we become aware of triggers and patterns in our relationships. Our nervous system learns to be more regulated. Things don't throw us off so easily. And we open our capacity to love and experience greater compassion."

Through key principles, examples, and practical exercises, this program invites you to begin your own healing journey toward healthy vulnerability, wholeness, and connection with others.

©2017 Diane Poole Heller (P)2017 Sounds True

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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Awesome Narration

Book is a really lively summary of attachment theory, plus new insights that I didn’t gain from the popular Attached book. Her narration is very authentic, as if she’s talking to you in person or teaching a lecture, not just dryly reading text. Highly recommend!

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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check yourself before you wreck yourself

I've heard it said that the quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives. Not just intimate relationships but any and all of them - in which the common denominator is you. If you have tried and failed repeatedly in your interpersonal history then you should examine your attachment functioning and manifest behavior in fine detail. Every interaction you ever have in life adds up, like raindrops - will the outcome be a powerful deep river that gauges into the bedrock or a scattered squall that dissipates across the barren plains?
Diane's work here will show you not who you are, but how you are - the hidden, reactive, maladaptive parts of your psychology that drive your behavior and lead to relationship difficulties. And some clues on how to correct these.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Exceptional!

Diane is a master in her field. I loved the clarity that she brings to the subject, and the myriad of examples that she offers. Her delivery is ecceptional. It was as if I was having a conversation with her, not listening to a lecture. I strongly recommend this audio.

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Superb!

This is an excellent overview of trauma, healing and flourishing as a human from the attachment perspective. I've listened to a lot of other works about attachment, Stan Tatkin, Dan Siegel, Kinnison, Levine and Heller, Sue Johnson, etc, and this is one of my favorites. Just finished listening to it and looking forward to listening a second time. I found Diane Poole Heller's voice very pleasant. Highly recommended!

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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Very soothing voice.

Interesting and helpful, gets to the core of relationships. You can easily tell the author is authentic.

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One of the best I've listened to.

This book was great for many reasons that I don't have adequate words to describe, but I'll try.

1) They author who I believe performed the reading was a pleasure to listen to. She sounded comfortable, professional, and deeply and personally invested in the material which immediately gave the book an air of credibility to me.

2) i listen to a lot of books on topics ranging from psychology in general, relationships more specifically, Neuroscience and trauma and this book is stands out as one of the Rosetta Stone books for me in decrypting some of the inscrutable aspects of my and others behavior.

There's lots of empathy and lack of judgement along with all of the insightful well woven science. The narrative of attachment and the many ways it presents in real people answered a few life long questions.

This book is a must read!

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relationship restoration

amazing step by step guide to discovering and healing your core relationship coping strategies. this is a must for living in the kinder world we know is possible.

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  • Peter
  • Camden, ME United States
  • 04-01-18

Kindling hope

Where does Healing Your Attachment Wounds rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

Near the top, I always prefer books read by the author. Nuance, inflection, prosody and intonation combine to make the experience as close to sitting in the same room as is possible within this medium. Diane's reading of her own work is a shining example. Her authenticity is palpable. In the words of Stephen Porges, she conveys a sense of safety that allows deep penetration of the message. What more could you want in an audio book?

What was one of the most memorable moments of Healing Your Attachment Wounds?

Not a moment, but a message: that healing insecure attachment patterns is possible, and proven. After reading "Attached", and learning a solid foundation on adult attachment styles, the take away was less than hopeful for those with insecure patterns (still highly recommend that book!).
From this and other books I have come to realize there is nothing to fix, only wounds to heal. Fixing is a manmade construct for broken things, not living beings. We are born whole and imbued with the power to heal, our attachment system is no different and if given the right environment will do so naturally, as does a bodily wound. This concept makes sense to me. Diane lays out step by step how to create such an environment, shares her own and others experiences with deep and genuine compassion, her soothing voice and presence made it feel one on one, and left me feeling hopeful, for myself and others who might feel somewhat doomed upon first learning about adult attachment.

Which scene was your favorite?

"we were born ready to form secure attachments, the system is still there intact, we are just excavating it..."
This is a fresh concept I have not come across in any of the 3 other books I've read on the subject, I really appreciate the metaphor.

Any additional comments?

Learning about adult attachment theory has opened a window into my past and offered liberating insight into behavior that has eluded me for decades, no therapist has mentioned it to me before, sadly. This book adds revelation to insight by offering a strategy for healing. Hope is a powerful motivator! If you know what I'm talking about, you'll get a lot from this book. Highly recommended!

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Great book

I would recommend you first read “Attached” by Levine and Heller. Then read this book, it’s better to have a basis or orientation of your attachment style first. Then this book gives great exercises to help you move to a more secure attachment style.

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Gold

Gold. This provided me with valuable insight into my own attachment style and the simple steps I can take to move towards secure. I also felt a lot more compassion for people I previously judged as horrible. And a positive way forward. I'll definitely be listening again.
This affects every aspect of life. I want to share this with everyone, and have already shared it with some friends. One thing that could have improved the listening experience is a suggestion that we pause as often as we need to, as Diane talks quite fast.

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  • gw
  • 12-03-17

practical approach to attachment styles

What made the experience of listening to Healing Your Attachment Wounds the most enjoyable?

Diane Poole-Heller's expertise and enthusiasm for the subject makes it a pleasant and engaging listening experience. Absolutely loved it.
Cleverly presented, instead of a comprehensive theory of each attachment styles Diane Poole-Heller draws on her experience and with a few questions she helps the listener to get a sense of each style. From there she introduces each style more with drawing a picture and examples, of how this looks like. There are exercises to help ourselves to overcome some of the challenges of certain attachment adaptations.... what is helpful to move towards secure attachment and yes, how this relates to adult relationships. Points to be aware of, how we can help each other,
I really liked that she has included a chapter on disorganised attachment. Such an important topic if we are to understand people who have had challenging child hood experiences... an understanding many therapists, doctors... and society at large would benefit from

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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  • Irene Billeter Sauter
  • 06-05-18

Great insights!

Great insights in and explanations of, among others, avoidant attachment patterns and outlining of options about how to address them.

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  • Amazon Customer
  • 05-19-18

insightful

great book for understanding attachment and on a practical level.
it is great that the author is also the narrator. makes for an authentic and compassionate listen

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  • lily
  • 12-11-17

A great resource

A very perceptive and succinct account of the attachment struggles we face in our relationships, including they’re origins and physiological processes. Very thorough and thoughtful and I would highly recommend to anyone experiencing relationship insecurity from childhood attachment wounding

1 of 1 people found this review helpful