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Ep. 1: I've Had Better Radio/TV Program

Ep. 1: I've Had Better

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Publisher's Summary

[Contains mature themes] Free for a limited time. He reached out because a year after the discovery of his affair, they aren’t fighting anymore, but they certainly haven’t moved on. Esther guides them towards a more honest conversation, and a revelation about their communication.

Step into the office of renowned relationship therapist and TED Talk sensation Esther Perel, and listen in as she counsels couples in crisis due to infidelity, sexlessness, loss, and disconnection. The result? Astonishing insights on how they can make love work – and takeaways for you on ways to repair and restore your own relationships. This weekly, 10-part premium podcast is available for free through mid-July.

About Esther:

Esther Perel is recognized as one of today’s most insightful and provocative voices on personal and professional relationships. A celebrated psychotherapist who has helmed a private practice in New York City since 1983, she has over three decades of experience navigating the intricacies of love and desire.

A Note from Esther:

Too often couples live like isolated islands. We think what we’re experiencing in our own relationship is unique to us, and we don’t know that our neighbors and friends are experiencing the same longings, laments, deprivations, and disillusionments in their own lives.

There is no school for relationships, no place for us to learn the tools for rebuilding and repair, to learn to straddle the many contradictions that roil in all of us. Where Should We Begin? Is a way for me to create meaningful, deep, and open conversations. As you listen to these intimate, unscripted sessions between real-life couples, I think you will find the language you’ve been looking for to have conversations with the people in your own life.

Listen to the entire series (with new episodes every Friday) for free through mid-July at audible.com/esther.

©2017 Audible Originals, LLC (P)2017 Audible Originals, LLC

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.6 (2511 )
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4.6 (2021 )
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Performance
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  •  
    Amazon Customer 06-14-17 Member Since 2016
    HELPFUL VOTES
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    "Horribly one-sided"

    An episode berating the woman for not being fully there for her husband. Really sad, she obviously was suffering deeply from the beginning and was alone. Double hit to her when her husband left to have an affair. The doctor did nothing to recognize the complete imbalance and rationalized the deepest violation of a marriage.

    7 of 9 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Liv Los Angeles metro-area 06-10-17
    Liv Los Angeles metro-area 06-10-17 Member Since 2017

    Liv

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    "This was the longest 46-min. listen of my life!"
    What disappointed you about Ep. 1: I've Had Better?

    I found it difficult to have any sympathy for the cheating husband what so ever. He seemed very much okay with leaving all the heavy lifting parenting of their 3 kids to his stay-at-home wife. And then he had the nerve to be freaking surprised when they had perfunctory sex. Maybe if he'd been more involved with his kids, she would have had more energy than to just lie there like a dead fish. His straying because his wife wasn't giving him enough attention was classic, lame and anger inducing. This is the 21st century and relationship help is accessible and readily available. He should've made use of that. Yes, the wife was guilty of not vocalizing more that she was also dissatisfied with their sex life, too. But any partner in a committed relationship should offer to get counseling BEFORE deciding to cheat. At the very least, as the potential cheater, he could've asked for a separation so his wife would've been alerted that all was not right in Denmark.


    What do you think your next listen will be?

    I may try one of the other topics and try to avoid any more cheating ones. Cheating is a real life trigger for me as a victim of it. I'm one of those kids who was impacted by it greatly, so I never can take in this topic lightly.


    Did the narration match the pace of the story?

    Yes.


    You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?

    Esther was good at being neutral and getting the couple to actually TALK about what each was feeling before, during and after the cheating ended. They were able to see their issues in a more objective manner thanks to her.


    11 of 15 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Matthew 05-24-17
    Matthew 05-24-17 Member Since 2016
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    "Omg!"

    I am so shocked that this therapist is continually giving the woman the short end of the stick in this discussion. One year is not demarcation that suddenly the wife should be over the the affair. Ugh, I'm so annoyed

    36 of 53 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Robert SAN DIEGO, CA, United States 05-30-17
    Robert SAN DIEGO, CA, United States 05-30-17 Member Since 2017
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    "She's kidding, right?"
    Any additional comments?

    The guy says, "Well, we were kind of in the same place, the only difference is I acted on it."

    Wait, what?

    Simply can't believe the counselor let him get away with that comment.

    On top of which he said he'd been unfaithful to other women several times before.

    The woman seems to be OK with the way their relationship is now.

    Why push her to let that scumbag in again?

    I won't be listening to any more of this.

    25 of 37 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Terra Hansen 06-06-17 Member Since 2011
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    "You can get over an affair in less than an hour!"

    This basically just shows that women need to be more attentive to husband's needs and fake orgasms to keep him happy. He isn't sorry he did it. He just shows remorse his wife isn't what he wants.

    9 of 14 people found this review helpful
  •  
    J and M 05-19-17
    J and M 05-19-17 Member Since 2015
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    "Stuck on this from the first episode."

    I have listened to Esther Perel before and I really like her. She is so good at really getting to the heart of communication and the problems with communication. This episode is a couple in the extremes. I mean, personally, I think she's done. And, I completely get it. Relationships can be hard. It's not all smiles and roses. So, when one uses that as an excuse to bail and leave the other in the trenches alone because life got real, well,that's hard to come back from. BUT, to not judge the actual couple and their situation. If you can strip away all that, and focus on where these people aren't communicating or hearing each other and how well Perel points it out. It is so good. At the heart of most conflicts and misunderstandings, someone is usually not really hearing the meaning behind someone else's words. Or, someone isn't saying what they should. And, then feelings get acted upon and someone gets blindsided. I realized during my masters program with all of the counseling hours that are required, that I'd been mediating conflict all of my life. And, I knew I didn't want to do it as a career. To create the mental space for others to explore, understand, etc, their emotions is not an easy job, even if you're good at it. And, this in particular is where I think even a lot of therapists fail. Helping someone work through addiction, a painful past, etc, is very hard, but very different. There is a specific outcome you are guiding towards. However, with relationships, good therapy has to give each person enough space to determine what that outcome will eventually be. Those emotions have to be worked through before knowing what the outcome will be in many cases. And, I think Perel deals with that very well. Much better and fascinating being an observer than the actual therapist.

    19 of 31 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Robin 06-09-17
    Robin 06-09-17

    Photo is of my portuguese water dog, Sheila!

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    "Just okay"

    I've listened to episode nos. 1-4. The first two were interesting, but after that felt a bit artificial. Won't bother with the rest. TV show "In Treatment" did it better.

    3 of 4 people found this review helpful
  •  
    William Nowicki 05-24-17 Member Since 2017
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    "Terrific series"

    This is what couples need to hear! Enjoyed it, even though it hits a little close to home.

    13 of 22 people found this review helpful
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    Amazon Customer 05-24-17 Member Since 2016
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    "Excellent"

    I learned a lot about myself and my marriage. The author takes you through the common that leads to the destruction of marriage.

    10 of 17 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Christella New Jersey, USA 05-22-17
    Christella New Jersey, USA 05-22-17

    D

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    "Vicarious Relationship Counseling"
    Would you listen to Ep. 1: I've Had Better again? Why?

    I would listen to this again simply because there are nuances to the problem-solving that Esther makes that you will only catch the 2nd, the 3rd, the 4th, or the 5th time. There's always a chance to learn and grow in a relationship. Because there are different seasons to when a certain piece of advice pertains to you or someone else.


    What was one of the most memorable moments of Ep. 1: I've Had Better?

    I honestly enjoyed listening to Esther's commentary. Particularly on how she felt she gained the trust of the wife in order to better provide counsel that would be well received. It was a surprising turn, but her input on how the turn happened was very very interesting.


    What insight do you think you’ll apply from Ep. 1: I've Had Better?

    Definitely on how to better receive what is being given. How to be mindful of that. And also, to be aware of the changes in myself that I choose to make as a result of negative feedback. I don't always have to take in wrong feedback. I can choose to correct any situation through communication so that it doesn't have to get to a point of bitterness and anger due to a lack of communication.


    4 of 7 people found this review helpful

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