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Publisher's Summary

Do you use substances or engage in compulsive activities to regulate your mood? Do you reach for something sweet, a couple of drinks, or a pack of cigarettes after a difficult day because you can't unwind without them? Do you race to the stores to spend away the day's frustrations or run around in circles taking more time to get less done? If these self-defeating habits sound familiar, Emotional Sobriety will shed light on why and how these coping mechanisms threaten your health and impact resilience. When we manage the stresses of the day by turning to outside 'mood managers' such as food, sex, work, shopping, gambling, drugs, and alcohol rather than healthier forms of 'self-soothing,' it is because we lack emotional sobriety - the state of processing our thoughts efficiently to bring our emotions into balance, says best-selling author and renowned addictions psychologist Tian Dayton, Ph.D. In her latest book, Emotional Sobriety, Dr. Dayton shares compelling, honest tales of her life experiences and case studies of those she has counseled. Illustrating that emotional sobriety is a mind/body phenomenon, Dr. Dayton includes ideas on how to attain emotional literacy - the skill of translating feelings into words so that we can use our thought processes to understand and bring our emotions into balance - and how to calm the limbic system so that we can actually experience what we're feeling. The limbic system processes our emotions and governs our mood, appetite, and sleep cycles. Repeated painful experiences, in childhood or adulthood, over which we have no ability or sense of control or escape can over sensitize us to stress and deregulate our limbic system. Dr. Dayton shows you through concrete examples how to bring your emotions and thoughts into balance and learn healthy ways of 'self-soothing' to relieve symptoms of depression, anxiety, rage, and the desire to self-medicate.

©2007 Tian Dayton (P)2012 Audible, Inc.

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

Overall

  • 4.4 out of 5.0
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  • Diane
  • Little Rock, AR, United States
  • 09-19-14

Almost...

If you could sum up Emotional Sobriety in three words, what would they be?

Parenting, Defining, Frustrating.

What about Elizabeth Hanley’s performance did you like?

Good performance. Steady and even.

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

Definitely not...needed time in between to process.

Any additional comments?

I was really hoping that we would eventually get to the "solution" for emotional sobriety. Instead, the book delved into the parenting aspects and the childhood trauma that creates emotional sobriety.

8 of 8 people found this review helpful

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Great Book for those from Dysfunction

If you had completely abismal parents with severe mental illness or addiction this book is for you. I can't praise this book enough for those who had completely incompetent people as parents. Now if you had slightly selfish parents who were meaningfully employed but were too controlling or manipulative, then Toxic Parents would be a better book for you. It depends on your situation. I like both books but this one was more applicable to me.

17 of 18 people found this review helpful

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  • Patrick
  • SAN LUIS OBISPO, CA, US
  • 09-14-17

Amazing

I am so happy this book is in print. This book represents a well-articulated map of the recovery journey - from relational trauma to resilience and balance. This is a valuable resource for anyone making their way back to wholeness or helping someone to do so.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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This is THE book !!

If you've any pain in your past...parents, spouses, anyone that made you feel bad... then you MUST read this! Regardless of the catalyst, pain is pain. Don't allow it to hold you back !

This book gave me the insight into my 'woes' and inspiration to become a balanced happier person.

The tools she uncovered were within me all along.

I'm 58 now, twice married (if I knew then...) at least my second husband will not have to bare the burden of my unresolved childhood issues.

I'd love to have the opportunity to thank you in person someday but for now... I hope you can my gratitude.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
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  • Story
  • PB
  • 01-04-15

Disappointing

What could have made this a 4 or 5-star listening experience for you?

For me to answer that question I would need to listen to the audio again. That is not going to happen, so I will decline from answering other than to say that a professional narrator would have helped a little.

What was most disappointing about Tian Dayton’s story?

It was repetitive and only touched the surface of the issue.

How did the narrator detract from the book?

She talked too much about her personal experience. The first analogy she gave was long, and boring, especially for someone who has no interest in cats. Also, her narration style was boring.

If you could play editor, what scene or scenes would you have cut from Emotional Sobriety?

I would have cut out everything repetitive which would have resulted in the book being about half of its size.

Any additional comments?

The best thing I got from the book was a clear, solid definition of emotional sobriety.

2 of 3 people found this review helpful

  • Overall

Not for me...slow

Not for me...too much storytelling..not what I was looking for. I was looking for positive motivation..

  • Overall
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A Nugget of this life saving program: Honesty Open Mindedness & Willingness

All questions answered; thank you for sharing this life saving tool of EXPERIENCE, STRENGTH &,☕️HOPE.

  • Overall
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  • Story

I will listen to this book over, and over again .

Very informative, and easy to understand the complex life of many, many people who want help understanding .

  • Overall

Audiobook

I love my audiobook I go to sleep listening to it. It is the best purchase I ever made. I wish all my books had that option.

  • Overall
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  • Story

just what you would expect

This book wasn’t for you, but who do you think might enjoy it more?

It was entirely useless.

Would you ever listen to anything by Tian Dayton again?

No.

What three words best describe Elizabeth Hanley’s performance?

It was well read.

If you could play editor, what scene or scenes would you have cut from Emotional Sobriety?

I would've changed everything about the book.

Any additional comments?

This kind of book is exactly what you would expect from an atheistic thinking culture in the West. Darwinism, and eastern mysticism, breathing techniques, meditations, blah blah blah. Lots of vacuous spiritualist terms that don't mean anything. Sad, and useless.

9 of 26 people found this review helpful

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  • N
  • 09-22-15

Tian's books are essential for ACA recovery!!!

I am a huge fan of Tian Dayton's work. Her books have provided so much understanding of the problems associated with being an Adult Child and at the same time they truly convey a sense of hope for healing and recovery. I strongly recommend both this book, as well as The ACOA Trauma Syndrome.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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  • Brigitte De La Pava
  • 05-21-16

Fast, monotone, psychobabble.

I have enjoyed many books on audible, I specially like to listen to parenting and self help.
This is neither helpful in a practical sense or engaging and is like having a encyclopedia read in a monotone voice. It is read extremely fast for the complicated content and the content just bounces from one theory to another...very very quickly.
Neither well written or well read in my opinion.
I own 20 books, this is the first that grated on the ears.