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Publisher's Summary

It's not a new idea that men tend to express their anger differently than women do. Years of research have shown that men - for many different and complex reasons - are often more violent and less willing to confront and deal with their emotions than women. Now Beyond Anger shows the angry-and miserable-man how to change his life and relationships for the better.

Dr. Thomas J. Harbin helps men understand their anger by explaining what the specific symptoms of chronic anger are and by showing angry men how their actions negatively affect family, friends and co-workers. He offers simple exercises-developed especially for men-that will help men to control their violent feelings, identify when and why they get angry, and to form new habits to prevent anger before it starts. Women, too, will learn essential strategies for understanding and helping the angry men in their lives.

Beyond Anger is:

  • Honest. Thomas J. Harbin has had to come to terms with his own anger problems, so he understands exactly what angry men are going through.
  • Tough. The book doesn't let anyone off the hook. It demands that angry men learn to take charge, stop making excuses, and get their anger under control.
  • Real. The book includes the stories of angry men who have learned to recognize their problems and use the book's techniques successfully.

    Free of fancy doctor talk and complicated theories, Beyond Anger talks to men in everyday language and provides a wealth of important resources. It is an invaluable guide for the many men struggling to come to terms with their inner battles and to take positive action, and for everyone who has an angry man in their life

  • ©2000 Thomas J. Harbin; (P)2009 Gildan Media Corp

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    Most helpful book ever

    This book has had a more profound and positive impact on my life than anything else I’ve ever read or listened to. Period. I wish I could give it ten stars out of five. If you even suspect you might have an anger management problem, you owe it to yourself to take a listen and at least evaluate your situation.

    The first part of this book describes what an anger management problem looks like and how it manifests itself in a person’s life. I always knew I had a bit of a temper. Pretty much everyone in my family did. But when I listened to the first part of this book and realised how closely the author’s descriptions matched my life, I simply felt sick.

    I realised I had been ignorant of or effectively downplayed my anger problem all my life. But that’s not surprising. After all, all our boyhood heroes (not to mention family members) all acted that way, so how bad could it be? I also realised that the majority of the dysfunction in my personal and work life appeared to be traceable back to my anger issues.

    Fortunately, the next part of the book goes into how to begin to deal with the problem. This involves understanding where the anger comes from. In a nutshell it’s often learned from our families and it’s all based on what amounts to distorted thinking. To get a handle on the problem, one has to begin to see how their thinking is distorted. That’s not as hard as it sounds, but of course it takes real effort to begin to and keep on changing the habits of a lifetime.

    The third part of the book deal with specific issues (violence, etc.) that may or may not have relevance to a given reader. The fourth deals with families.

    I see now uncontrolled anger is an awful cross to bear. It’s terribly damaging to the angry person, whether they know it or not. As the saying goes, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” And, the fact is, it’s also very, very damaging to the angry person’s family. Bad stuff.

    Again, if you even suspect you may have a problem with anger buying this audio book may be the best investment of your life.

    18 of 18 people found this review helpful

    • Overall
    • Alex
    • Brampton, Ontario, Canada
    • 04-26-10

    A Naked Analysis of Male Anger

    I used to be an angry man. I would argue with anyone, punch walls, break electronics, scream at my students, grit my teeth and insult my girlfriend. At the end of every day I was sure I was going to lose my job, get dumped and die friendless, penniless and alone.

    This book profoundly changed my life.

    Mr. Harbin's guide to managing and handling male anger is probably the most useful book I have ever read.

    One of the best parts of this book is an early chapter where Harbin outlines exactly what kind of behavior constitutes anger. This was enough for me, as I realized almost the entirely of my conscious thought was devoted to depressing thoughts and instincts.

    During the opening chapters Harbin also provides some portraits of angry men, which were really helpful for identifying my own personal traits.

    The book includes anger management techniques, a chapter for the partners and spouses of angry men and a solid sociological analysis of why and how men become angry.

    Two weeks in and my co-workers and girlfriend have noticed a distinct change in my behavior. Most importantly, I don't leave work angry, bitter and fearful. The net result has been way less stress and more clarity in my life.

    This book is great.

    8 of 8 people found this review helpful

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    The best anger management book

    I've Just started listening to this book and I swear as soon as I heard the forward/preface when Harbin discloses his own experience with anger, his views on his relationship with his wife and the way he felt inside and reacted to life, i immediately identified with him- I felt like he was describing me. Here's the catch, I am a woman, who now knows for sure that I have a problem with anger and now I have some hope that I can get better. I doubt if there is anyone better suited to give advice about dealing with anger than a formerely angry person. I look forward to finishing this book- I hope to put it to good use. This is a really great book with all the case reviews, examples of different anger- it may help someone to find happiness and alternatives to the way we react to anger. I highly recommend this book, if for nothing else, to just finally bring yourself out of denial.

    10 of 11 people found this review helpful

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    • Cris5y
    • UPLAND, CA, United States
    • 09-25-12

    I felt myself agreeing a lot with the author

    I listened to this book, mainly so I can understand what's behind the anger in the men in my life. A lot of what he said made a sense and I even found myself relating to some of the reasons behind the anger. I would recommend this to any guy who has problems with his anger and doesn't know why. However, I wouldn't recommend it for a guy who hasn't accepted that he has a problem with anger. It may just make him angrier.

    3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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    Could be more practical. Focus is on chronic anger

    This is a good book, but it will be most useful to men with serious anger issues. The guy who only occasionally gets angry, and just wants a little help with controlling his anger even better, well, this might not be the best choice for you. If you don't have an anger problem, you might start to think you do while listening to this book. It is assumed that you do have an anger problem. I was hoping for more practical tips, but instead found a lot of background information about how angry men get to be angry, and the thinking that often underlies their anger. It is assumed that men have lots of problems with women, and that men often have stereotypical macho attitudes toward women. There is no mention at all of gay or bisexual men here. Still, a reasonably intelligent look at the anger issues many men may be dealing with.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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    I love this guy

    I really enjoyed this book. The author is the fellow who reads it, and he is top notch.
    No drama queen here.

    Nor is the author one to pull punches, or be over harsh either. He has a very good balance between showing patterns a person can get into, explains the various solutions. Very neat.

    If a person is wanting some common sense things to consider, then this is your book.

    In the first chater, the author includes a 100 question evaluation test, so you can gauge where you are at. Very well done.

    I highly recomend this book.

    2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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    • Zdenko
    • Zapresic, Croatia
    • 07-20-12

    A great book for people who admit having problems

    What made the experience of listening to Beyond Anger the most enjoyable?

    Collected informations are presented in a way that catches attention and helps to keep the knowledge for the needs of future life.

    What was the most interesting aspect of this story? The least interesting?

    How admitting I have a problem is the most important action to take. Numerous examples, even the shocking ones (young people going violent immediately after childhood)
    The least interesting was the list of medicaments :))

    What three words best describe Erik Synnesvetd’s voice?

    Right for (the) task.

    Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

    Yes, but I managed it only after several partial listenings.

    Any additional comments?

    Good to practice English listening for a learner. Not too difficult to follow.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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    • Michael
    • Ringoes, NJ, United States
    • 09-23-10

    A must listen for very angry peopl

    I downloaded this book to help me control my "anger". While listening I found that what I thought was anger was really a lack of self control.

    This book is for those men that truely have anger issues, hitting people, hate people, talk to people using a foul words daily, and those people that just can not take the normal parts of life with out getting pissed off and hurting you, someone else, or getting violent on anything thats not nailed down.

    Granted there are some things that this book helped me with, but this book is people that really have a problem.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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    • FDLeyda
    • Calcutta, OH, United States
    • 02-11-13

    OK until it started to speak of women.

    Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?

    I got a lot out of this book until it started to discuss men's interactions with women. I am single and was hoping for a concentration on men's anger, not conflicts with women.

    What about Erik Synnesvetd’s performance did you like?

    Well spoken and good intonation..

    3 of 5 people found this review helpful

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    Leave your ego & excuses 'at the door'.

    Having struggled with anger and rage all of my life, for which I can compile a-hundred reasons (excuses) as to why 'I am right' and 'they are wrong'....'they' are always wrong.

    I appreciate the author's candid matter-of-fact 'tone of voice'... the 'tone' in the author's writing underscores that your anger problem is your responsibility.

    So man-up, leave your ego & excuses at the door...and start working on yourself.

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    • peter
    • 04-25-15


    Some really useful considerations but sometimes lingers on the negatives
    As if the author is using the book as therapy