The Lost Art of Listening, Second Edition

How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships

By: Michael P. Nichols PhD

Narrated by: Sean Runnette

Length: 11 hrs and 33 mins

Publisher's summary

One person talks; the other listens. It's so basic that we take it for granted. Unfortunately, most of us think of ourselves as better listeners than we actually are. Why do we so often fail to connect when speaking with family members, romantic partners, colleagues, or friends? How do emotional reactions get in the way of real communication? This thoughtful, witty, and empathic book has already helped over 100,000 people break through conflicts and transform their personal and professional relationships. Experienced therapist Michael P. Nichols, PhD, provides vivid examples, easy-to-learn techniques, and practical exercises for becoming a better listener and making yourself heard and understood, even in difficult situations.

©2009 Michael P. Nichols (P)2016 Tantor

Critic reviews

"This is more than a good book; it is a vital manual for any of us who would either like to feel good about our relationships or avoid dying before the end of our lives." (Carol M. Anderson, MSW, PhD, Western Psychiatric Institute and Clinic, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania)

Everyone needs this book

Before this book I prided myself in being a good listener. Boy was I humbled! I may be more willing to listen than talk, but there's so much more to it than that. And in this day and age where we are so distracted by our phones, social media, and technology, the art of listening really is lost. That makes this book even more important. The surprising thing for me was that listening covers more than just being a good listener. I felt like I was learning how to make my relationships better. This isn't a "step by step" guide exactly. It shows things that work but also why they work and why it is important to practice those good habits. I'm really glad I read this book. I feel like it's helped my in every kind of relationship in my life.

for everyone

everyone, everywhere should know how important this stuff is. if you dont, get the book. if you do, get the book anyway.

A good reminder of how to listen

Most of the book was great, parts of it didn't really apply to my current situation but that's not the author's fault. I will re-listen to again sometime.

Just What I Needed to Listen to

I love this book! It has helped understand that I have the right to be heard and how to listen to others more efficiently. I will listen to it one more time to take notes and do the exercises. Thank you!!!

Listen to the Lost art of listening!

Dr Nichols is thoughtful, clear and evidently has compiled a lot of great anecdotal evidence about our failures in this area. simple exercises are provided to use the information real time. only down side is the length. worked out for me during my long commute in the car.

Really good but not great

I personally feel that the book has way to many examples in the first half to where you can get lost in his overall goal. I also didn't agree with much of chapter 11 when it talks about the best way to deal with children.

Wisdom for a Lifetime

This is a quiet book about a quiet subject, yet it is revolutionary in a positive way. He talks about what is seldom said or discussed-- do you really listen and are you really heard, what does that mean, and how do you do it. Dr. Nichols insights and humor are developed from a long life of observation of people from his psychology practice, teaching roles, and personal life.

While the topic is listening, he spends equal time on how to speak up effectively and what it means to be heard.

This is a book I will return to throughout my life.

Deep Dive into Communication within Relationships

This book is a deep dive - there's no "quick start guide" or "just three little rules to success!" This a deeply psychodynamic approach to communication within relationships. It's also largely about close relationships, including friendships, families, and intimate partners, rather than professional relationships or workplaces.

The narrator has a distinctly Paul Harvey like cadence and voice, which gave this book an artificially dated feel. I felt like I was listening to something that had been written in the 1970's, even though it was updated in 2009. I would have preferred a different narrator because of the cognitive dissonance.

It's a worthwhile book. It's also very clearly written by an educated white guy for white people. There's no attention given to the way that different cultures and ethnicities communicate, or to the way that people often need to code-switch to succeed in some settings.

Life changing

This book opened my eyes. Listening is vital for a good life & relationships. Raising children without these principles handicaps you.
It deconstructed my life, past & present. I grieved, laughed & learned so much. Thank you for this impactful read!

Most definitely a lost art

The indepth rollercoaster ride of how to listen is and has to be practiced regularly for sure. The relationship of effective communication with our world depends on it. This was a great listen as it took me for a ride into my own inner issues and taught me other methods of hearing and being heard. Highly recommended.