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Mistakes Were Made (But Not By Me) Audiobook

Mistakes Were Made (But Not By Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions and Hurtful Acts

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Publisher's Summary

Why do people dodge responsibility when things fall apart? Why the parade of public figures unable to own up when they screw up? Why the endless marital quarrels over who is right? Why can we see hypocrisy in others but not in ourselves? Are we all liars? Or do we really believe the stories we tell? Backed by years of research and delivered in lively, energetic prose, Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me) offers a fascinating explanation of self-deception - how it works, the harm it can cause, and how we can overcome it.

©2008 Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson (P)2010 Audible, Inc.

What the Critics Say

"Thanks, in part, to the scientific evidence it provides and the charm of its down-to-earth, commonsensical tone, Mistakes Were Made is convincing. Reading it, we recognize the behavior of our leaders, our loved ones, and—if we're honest—ourselves, and some of the more perplexing mysteries of human nature begin to seem a little clearer." (Francine Prose, O, The Oprah Magazine)

"By turns entertaining, illuminating and—when you recognize yourself in the stories it tells—mortifying." (The Wall Street Journal)

What Members Say

Average Customer Rating

4.2 (1526 )
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Performance
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  •  
    Rosanne Font 01-09-15 Member Since 2017
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    "Somewhat intriguing"

    This book was written in a research style that dragged with redundancy at times. I liked most of the examples of denial & dissonance given, but some were lengthy & tedious. A closing summary of how to avoid becoming a major mistake maker in denial would have been helpful.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Robyn 09-26-14
    Robyn 09-26-14
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    "Basic Psychology (and how it applies to you)"

    This book explains cognitive dissonance and the related concept of self-justification. The research underpinning these theories is presented, with case examples which range from big political decisions which start wars to interpersonal conflicts which all of us deal with in our everyday lives. The easy and seductive part of the book is fitting the theories to the behaviour of people we know - it explains a lot. The tricky part is to keep reminding yourself that it is equally applicable to your own behaviour and may also explain a lot about you. With any luck it will help people to recognise their own mistakes and avoid making similar mistakes in future. Even if it doesn't change your life or improve your relationships, it's an interesting read and an easy way to learn some basic Psychology. Marsha Mercant has a very pleasant voice and does a very good job as narrator.

    1 of 1 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Kathy Davis, CA, United States 09-13-15
    Kathy Davis, CA, United States 09-13-15 Member Since 2008
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    "Truly Scary--A Must Listen!"

    "Mistakes, who me? Not very often! I'm pretty perfect most of the time."

    This book was a bit scary to me because it shook the foundations of many of my beliefs.

    This book debunks many of all our common beliefs. For me, that my memories are reliable it is I who remember what really happened, unlike my brother and my hubby, who were there but must have memory problems. Not so, apparently. It seems my memories are as faulty and unreliable as anyone else's.

    For me, that my sister-in-law adds to and embellishes her family history, more and more every year, but I certainly don't do that! Apparently, not so. I am not immune to this either.

    In general, honest people do not confess to crimes they did not commit. Most certainly not. Well, maybe with the exception of the Central Park Jogger story, where all the young men arrested and convicted made false confessions and were innocent. That was an anomaly, right? Apparently, not so. This book in detail explains how and why people will confess when they haven't done the crime. This section is truly scary and I have given up my support of the death penalty, telling my hubby he was right all along. I admitted my mistake to him, a rare thing for one who seldom made mistakes (before this listen.)

    Mistakes. Yes, that is another area covered. The book explains how and why we justify our mistakes, in the rare cases we make them (or are they so rare?) It is so understandable it is truly unnerving.

    Also discussed in depth is a the area of spats, grudges, feuds, divorces, wars and why things get so terribly ugly. This section made me feel truly helpless and sad.

    Everyone can benefit from this book. It really is a must listen that I stumbled across as a daily deal. I wouldn't have searched it out. My mistake.

    It is life changing for me.

    5 of 8 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Venki Texas, USA 05-07-13
    Venki Texas, USA 05-07-13
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    "Repititive and Preachy"
    What would have made Mistakes Were Made (But Not By Me) better?

    Reduce number of examples probably.


    Would you ever listen to anything by Carol Tavris and Elliot Aronson again?

    Probably Not


    Would you be willing to try another one of Marsha Mercant and Joe Barrett ’s performances?

    Depends on the book not the idiots who read it.


    You didn’t love this book... but did it have any redeeming qualities?

    The book was very informative and helps explain this we do and see around us.


    Any additional comments?

    Enough with the Republicans/Conservatives are cheating, lying idiots and corporations are evil, corrupt and Selfish Meme. Can we please move on...

    6 of 10 people found this review helpful
  •  
    K. Vogt Lakewood, CO 11-17-17
    K. Vogt Lakewood, CO 11-17-17 Member Since 2017
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    "SO many great points and examples!"

    Great narrating voices. Easy to follow and understand. Promotes introspection. I think everyone can take at least one thing away.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    SuperBabe 10-08-17
    SuperBabe 10-08-17 Member Since 2014
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    "Fascinating."

    Other than the authors clearly dinking the "official story" kool-aid on basically every story used as an example, the concepts are right on. Great listen. Enjoyable & educational. So many people should take a listen to this.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    JAVI 09-11-17
    JAVI 09-11-17 Member Since 2017
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    "A complete analysis of how and why self justification is counter productive."

    I thoroughly enjoyed this book. In this age of misinformation and hypocrisy, how refreshing to have a book to help us arrive at truth. We can be lead to error continously and be in a malaise or choose a path of self awareness to enjoy well being. We can choose frustration or choose contentment.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Annie 08-04-17
    Annie 08-04-17 Member Since 2016
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    "Insightful and Resourceful"

    Resourceful context and cases used to show how cognitive dissonance and self-justification affects relationships on all levels. Super insightful to better understand ourselves and one another. Would read again/recommend.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful
  •  
    Dan Collins Katy, Tx United States 07-24-17
    Dan Collins Katy, Tx United States 07-24-17 Member Since 2017
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    "Democrats=good. Republicans=bad."

    You know what never gets old? Elitists Monday-morning quarterbacking Bush's decision to invade Iraq. And of course, there's that Ronald Reagan guy, let's not forget to point out his transgressions.

    On the positive side if you can give the authors the benefit of the doubt and look past their thinly-veiled partisanship you will find a far better than average summary of the topic of cognitive dissonance and how it affects us. What I liked about this book is that the pause it gives me when attempting to render judgment is not a deal breaker. The author does not want the reader to be plagued by indecision. But they do want people to be aware of the larger picture in any disagreements.

    0 of 1 people found this review helpful
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    Mortis101 PLEASANT GROVE, UT, US 07-20-17
    Mortis101 PLEASANT GROVE, UT, US 07-20-17 Member Since 2016
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    "amazing book"

    one of the most interesting books I've ever read. shows the pitfalls of self justification & how to avoid them.

    0 of 0 people found this review helpful

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