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Publisher's Summary

"My legal name where I currently reside in the city of Liege, Belgium, is Gaspar Valessi. But that is not my real name. The name I was given some 30,000 years ago, when I was born in a Paleolithic settlement in the region that is now called Germany - the name my father gave me shortly after I was voided, bloody and howling, from my mother's womb - is Gon."

So begins the saga of the immortal Gon, a 30,000 year-old vampire. This, the first volume of his memoirs, recounts his mortal life in prehistoric Germany alongside his male companion, Brulde, and his two wives, the Neanderthal Eyya and his Cro-Magnon mate, Nyala. It details the fearsome events that lead to his transformation from man to undying monster.

This revised and expanded edition includes new material, adding depth to much-loved characters and more fully realizing the author's vision of the oldest living vampire and the prehistoric world that gave birth to him. By turns beautiful and subversive, poetic and seductive, The Oldest Living Vampire Saga is like no other vampire series you've ever heard!

©2010 Joseph Duncan (P)2015 Joseph Duncan

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NUNYA

THEY TOOK OUR OFFERINGS AND THAN THEY TOOK OUR SHAMANS
I have been telling everybody that Joseph Duncan's Zombie novel Cattle: The Fearlanders is one of the best zombie books out there for sometime now. I was hoping his vampire story was as good. For the first couple of hours it was, but than I am a big fan of Jean Auel and her randy cavemen.

FAST FEET
The first couple of hours was devoted to open sexual relationships. This was practiced by early man, according to Duncan. Homo as well as Hetero. I was buying all of it and did not have the same problem one reviewer had with the pre-teen sex. It was not adult and child, but kids playing around and imitating the adults. Even Jean Auel expressed that since sex was not private, little kids would play at the act they see their elders do. Even today kids experiment, so I was not bother by it. The problem was that once Duncan quit writing about sex the story got boring. I listened for over seven hours and the guy was still not a vampire. One reviewer said it was nine hours into the 10 and a quarter hour book before the guy was turned. If you advertise a vampire book, you need a vampire. I have checked the reviews for the sequel and it seems that it does not get much better, so I will not continue this series. If the Zombie series continues and I will definitely listen to that.

Narrator
This guy talks the entire time in a gruff whisper. Okay for awhile, grating over time.

29 of 31 people found this review helpful

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Didn't grab me.

I really wanted to like this book as I do love a good ol vamp story but it just didn't grab me. I wonder if it was the narrator more than the book though as it does quite well in the Amazon reviews. (So I do advise to have a read through them and not just take my review as the be all)

The narrator had quite a nice voice but I found he did not bring much energy to the characters. In this time, with so many audibooks you can't capture readers with a nice voice alone. It felt like he was reading a book to me but not wanting to wake the people in the next room (not meaning he needed to yell but it seemed hushed like a bedtime story) and there was not much if any distinction between characters.

As with some of the Amazon reviews they mention it takes a long time to actually get to him being turned to a Vamp (I actually never made it to when he does). Also as mentioned in the other reviews there is a real awkward start about his sexual liberty that seems to go on and on then get re hashed a lot. I'm not abashed by this but the point that was trying to be made could of been done so without so much (maybe enabling a quicker flow).

As I hinted above, the pacing was a bit slow for me (I know it's a saga). Last night I actually forgot to turn off my tablet in my car and got McDonald's then came back in and it had been going the whole time and really nothing had changed. I could of just kept going.

Like i said, this is just my opinion and it didn't grab me. A lot of people will likely enjoy the book so try it out and see I guess.

9 of 10 people found this review helpful

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Vampire

What did you love best about The Oldest Living Vampire Tells All: Revised and Expanded?

Just finished the audiobook. a week ago. Loved it!! Lots of sex and action... love of family and loss. A very interesting take on the vampire story... Will be listening to the sequel next

3 of 4 people found this review helpful

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  • jeff
  • La Mirada, CA, United States
  • 11-04-15

A different spin that’s refreshing

Would you consider the audio edition of The Oldest Living Vampire Tells All: Revised and Expanded to be better than the print version?

Not sure never read the printed version. My only issue with audio books is the pronunciationof name and places. It can be different then what we consider normal.

Who was your favorite character and why?

Gon, I liked that he was flawed and impulsive. His love for his family and his people so much that he would trade all his happiness to keep them safe. He looked out for them even when dealing with his very own real demons "the thirst".

Which scene was your favorite?

Gon and his maker

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

Yes, I laugh and teared up at different points in the story. The part that made me tear up ***SPOILER*** was when he came back for his companion/husband. That he wanted to be with them, the family had him in life but he wanted to be with his two wife's and companion/husband in death.

Any additional comments?

I like this book very much the different way the author took the genera, a look at what it would be like to be the oldest living vampire. The way he brought the cor-magnons and neanderthals together. My only issue would be over half the book was about his life before his was turned. That part did not really appeal to me. It looks like there is going to be 6 book in this series so i look forward to reading more of this story.<br/><br/> Also I've read a few reviews that mention the sexual parts of this story that deals with kids. I was not sure of how that would play out or if i wanted to find out, but i could not see it being some thing way out there. The sexual aspects was between kids NOT adults and that was brief.<br/><br/>I read another book about vampire just a few weeks ago called "real vampire don't sparkle" it was okay. Like with this book there is some homoerotic goings on in this story, but it's not the main point (like it was with "Real Vampires don't Sparkle") of the story it's a small part of the story line. If that bothers you then this many not be a book for you.

2 of 3 people found this review helpful

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  • Jan
  • United States
  • 08-06-15

A vampire is created in a land before time

Most of the story seems to be a fictionalized anthropological study of a Cro-Magnon community 30,000 years ago. The tale tells the story of one blended family as told by the alpha male of the household. Not boring, by any means, but perhaps a bit unexpected. Not until about the last eighth is the protagonist overcome by and 'made' by the 'monster' we have come to know as vampire. Interestingly, there are different levels or strengths of vampires. Obviously, the protagonist is of the strongest sort. The book is interesting, but I'm not sure that I wouldn't have done a bit of skimming were it not for the Narrator. He IS the voice of the protagonist, and his performance is world class!

3 of 5 people found this review helpful

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Part 1 of a 300 Part Series

This book is the first in the Oldest Living Vampire Saga. The majority of the book covers somewhere up to maybe 100 years, stating 30000 years ago. So I expect this is going to be about a 300 book saga. But I jest. I don't really expect the series to be that long, but I was just expressing my feelings from reading the book. Often times when you read these "types" of ancients type stories, the authors tend to have pretty narrow coverage in a book of each time period, so perhaps you might get one part of the book dealing with the origin, one dealing with another arc, and often times parts dealing with the present day to try make the books more "exciting". Personally I really liked the way this book didn't try to do that, and just settled down well to try tell a really interesting, unique origin story, without jumping all over the place. I thought the ideas presented and the concepts were pretty unique, rather than just treading out the same or just minor variants on "standard vampire" mythology. On the downside though, I did find the book a bit too "adult" for my tastes though. It was definitely fitting, and most definitely feasible and very likely for the setting it was in (time of neanderthals and cro magnon), but it did make me more than a bit uncomfortable in a few places.

The narration by Ian M Walker was very fitting, and lent the sort of gravitas you'd expect for a story told from first person perspective of an ancient immortal, and was reminiscent of the great John Lee.

I did get this book as a free review copy, but when the next volume of this series is released on audio, I will be compelled to buy it to learn more of the story. I've also got other books by Joseph Duncan - and I do wish Mort would get an audiobook release (I purchased the Kindle version of it, and it is the prequel to the Cattle book, which is on audible also).

Overall, I'd recommend the book to people looking for a unique vampire novel, with easy to listen to and follow narration.

3 of 5 people found this review helpful

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I did like several parts of the story

My thoughts on the cover of The Oldest Living Vampire by Joseph Duncan are the guy looks like Vlad the Impaler. It is not very spooky looking or anything; it is more like what people picture when they think of old vampires.

The main character is Gon, a vampire that is over 30,000 years old. This whole story is told from his point-of-view on his life before and after he became a vampire. Gon has some nice qualities; he has a sort of dry humor that will catch the reader/listener at random. He is VERY old fashioned in his thinking though. That is both a plus and a minus. On the plus side it is because it helps show his life before he became a vampire; a minus because Gon seems to be more focused on his life before vampirism. It seems to be way too much in this story.

I found the descriptions of Neanderthals and Cro-Magnon people and life very interesting. It helped set the frame of mind to the reader that it was a very long time ago. Downside was that it took the story over seven hours before it gets to Gon facing his maker and becoming a vampire. This story is not fast paced to get to the heart of the story at all.

I did not like several of the more graphic scenes involving children. Even though Gon explains they are there to show the reader the difference between then and now, I do not believe that to be true. This book could have progressed very well without them. Also, fair warning to future readers/listeners if you are in a public situation, this is not a book to have playing on speakers. Headphones are a must because of the graphic nature of several scenes in this book. These scenes include sex and graphic violence. Warning – Not for young readers; I would not recommend for anyone under the age of legal consent.

This is an ok-ish book. I liked several things about it, but what I didn’t like was the sex scenes involving children. That was a bit too graphic and disturbing for me. They were in there at random places. One minute the story was progressing sluggishly, and then the next children are having sex. In fact, it kept bringing up the ‘sexual nature’ of children a few times after that. Nope, not cool. Thankfully the main character soon aged into an adult so the children ‘sexuality’ went away.

I think the author was trying to make the story have a feel kind of like The Clan of the Cave Bear by Jean M. Auel, but it fell short of that mark. It was just to off putting to me to give it a good rating. I cannot in all fairness suggest it as a good read to others. I did like several parts of the story, but overall it would not be something I would ever read again.

The Author is Joseph Duncan. The Narrator is Ian M. Walker. I liked the narrator’s voice. He has a lovely accent. I do wish that he had read the other character’s voices in different tones to help distinguish them better, but overall it was enjoyable. I recommend it not be listened to it all in one setting though. The tone of voice had me zoning out several times when I listened to the story for too long. This book is ten hours and fourteen minutes long.

This story left me very glad I live in this era. Not that I would know the difference if I lived in that era, but from my perspective of living now looking back to then…I am very happy to be alive now. It is amazing that humans managed to stay alive with so many elements fighting to kill them off. How many of us would really last a day in Gon’s time? I don’t believe I would have lasted long at all. So yes, I am very happy to be alive now and I am very thankful I don’t have to fight off plants or animals to stay alive daily.

Audiobook provided for review by the narrator.

Please find this complete review and many others at my review blog

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12 of 22 people found this review helpful

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  • Andrea
  • Anchorage, AK, United States
  • 03-08-16

A fresh and well-written take on a done to death genre!

Jean M. Auel meets Anne Rice! A well-crafted and artfully performed masterpiece that is sure to entertain even the most anti-horror/vampyre bashing readers! I can't wait to hear the next book!

1 of 2 people found this review helpful

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Original novel, good narration

Clan of the Cave Bear vampire story. Duncan did a fine job introducing the clan culture and building a believable and immersive world.

1 of 2 people found this review helpful

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Interview with a vampire but better.

What other book might you compare The Oldest Living Vampire Tells All: Revised and Expanded to and why?

Interview with a vampire, Apocalypto the movie.

Which scene was your favorite?

When he shits himself

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

Yes, Ian M Walker did an amazing narration for this book

Any additional comments?

Looking forward to starting book 2 and the release of book 3.

1 of 2 people found this review helpful