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Johannes Cabal The Necromancer
- Narrated by: Christopher Cazenove
- Length: 10 hrs and 48 mins
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Editorial reviews
Johannes Cabal was just your average, everyday scientist trying to cure death before he gave up on science and turned to necromancy. To become a necromancer, all he had to do was sell his soul to the devil. Which was fine, he didn't think he'd need it. Turns out he was wrong, though, so he goes to hell to get it back. Only once there, he finds the devil's not so interested in returning it. At least not without making things interesting. So, Cabal and the devil agree on a little wager: If Cabal can collect 100 souls in the span of one year, the devil will return his soul to him. Cabal accepts the challenge not that he really had any choice, unless he wanted to settle for eternal damnation and returns to Earth to discover that the devil has kindly? provided him with a traveling carnival, which Cabal must use in his attempts to acquire those hundred souls.
If Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman had collaborated on another book after Good Omens, or Christopher Moore had been raised in the UK by devil-worshiping carnies, or J. K. Rowling had decided to write a humorous novel but had a cold, black lump of coal in her chest where a heart would otherwise be, Johannes Cabal the Necromancer is the book they, he, or she might have written. Which is to say a laugh-out-loud funny fantasy, with liberal doses of the devil, darkness, and death.
To narrate such a text- one rife with numerous (and challenging) voices and requiring of impeccable comic timing would be a tall order for any actor, but Christopher Cazenove makes it seem as child's play. His sonorous British tone matches up with Jonathan L. Howard's prose precisely, and he provides several unique voices, bringing a wide range of characters to life (some of which are dead!), resulting in a truly remarkable dare I say...flawless? audiobook production.
Given the subject matter of the novel, it's entirely possible Howard and Cazenove sold their souls in exchange for their incredible talents. If you run into either of them, be sure to read very carefully anything they ask you to sign... John Joseph Adams
Publisher's summary
Johannes Cabal, a brilliant scientist and notorious snob, is single-mindedly obsessed in heart and soul with raising the dead. Well, perhaps not soul.... He hastily sold his years ago in order to learn the laws of necromancy. But now, tormented by a dark secret, he travels to the fiery pits of Hell to retrieve it. Satan, who is incredibly bored these days, proposes a little wager: Johannes has one year to persuade 100 people to sign over their souls, or he will be damned forever.
To make the bet even more interesting, Satan throws in that diabolical engine of deceit, seduction, and corruption known as a “traveling circus” to aid in the evil bidding. What better place exists to rob poor sad saps of their souls than the traveling carnivals historically run by hucksters and legendary con men?
With little time to lose, Johannes raises a motley crew from the dead and enlists his brother, Horst, a charismatic vampire, to be the carnival’s barker. On the road through the pastoral English countryside, this team of reprobates wields their black magic with masterful ease, resulting in mayhem at every turn.
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Somewhere on the frontier between thought and reality exists the Discworld, a parallel time and place that might sound and smell very much like our own, but which looks completely different. Particularly as it’s carried though space on the back of a giant turtle (sex unknown). It plays by different rules. But then, some things are the same everywhere. The Disc’s very existence is about to be threatened by a strange new blight: the world’s first tourist, upon whose survival rests the peace and prosperity of the land.
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TERRIBLE Narration!
- By Kayla I on 07-08-22
By: Terry Pratchett
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The Mad Scientist's Guide to World Domination
- Original Short Fiction for the Modern Evil Genius
- By: John Joseph Adams - editor
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Overall
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Performance
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Mad scientists have never had it so tough. In super-hero comics, graphic novels, films, TV series, video games, and even works of what may be fiction, they are besieged by those who stand against them, devoid of sympathy for their irrational, megalomaniacal impulses to rule, destroy, or otherwise dominate the world as we know it. It’s just not fair. So those of us who are so twisted and sick that we love mad scientists have created this guide.
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HAND DANCING
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 05-30-15
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Tigerman
- By: Nick Harkaway
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Lester Ferris needs a rest. He's spent his life being shot at, and Afghanistan was the last stop on his road to exhaustion. Mancreu is the ideal place for Lester to relax. A former British colony, soon to be destroyed because of its very special version of toxic pollution. But Lester Ferris makes a friend: a street kid with a comicbook fixation who will need a home - who might, Lester hopes, become an adopted son. But in a place like Mancreu, just what sort of hero will the boy need?
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Slow start - but very touching
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By: Nick Harkaway
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The Devil You Know
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Overall
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Story
Felix Castor is a freelance exorcist, and London is his stomping ground. It may seem like a good ghostbuster can charge what he likes and enjoy a hell of a lifestyle, but there's a risk: sooner or later he's going to take on a spirit that's too strong for him. When Castor accepts a seemingly simple ghost-hunting case at a museum in the shadowy heart of London, what should have been a perfectly straightforward exorcism is rapidly turning into the Who Can Kill Castor First Show, with demons and ghosts all keen to claim the big prize.
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Horror combined with misogynistic characters
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Down Cemetery Road
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When a house explodes in a quiet Oxford suburb and a young girl disappears in the aftermath, Sarah Tucker becomes obsessed with finding her. Accustomed to dull chores in a childless household and hosting her husband’s wearisome business clients for dinner, Sarah suddenly finds herself questioning everything she thought she knew, as her investigation reveals that people long believed dead are still among the living, while the living are fast joining the dead.
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Not as good as Slough House
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By: Mick Herron
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The Pale Blue Eye
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- Narrated by: Charles Leggett
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Overall
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When the body of a suicide victim disappears at West Point Military Academy in 1831, only to be discovered hours later missing its heart, the Academy calls on retired detective Gus Landor to investigate. Landor is something of a legend among his peers, noted for an uncanny, Holmesian ability to read people. When Edgar Allan Poe, a new cadet, comes forth with his own cryptic conclusion—that the man Landor is looking for is a poet—Landor is intrigued and enlists Poe as his assistant.
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Could not get through it
- By Amazon Customer on 10-25-15
By: Louis Bayard
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City of Stairs
- By: Robert Jackson Bennett
- Narrated by: Alma Cuervo
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- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
The city of Bulikov once wielded the powers of the gods to conquer the world, enslaving and brutalizing millions - until its divine protectors were killed. Now Bulikov has become just another colonial outpost of the world's new geopolitical power, but the surreal landscape of the city itself - first shaped, now shattered, by the thousands of miracles its guardians once worked upon it - stands as a constant, haunting reminder of its former supremacy. Into this broken city steps Shara Thivani.
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Something Different
- By Scott S. on 10-17-14
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Maplecroft
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- By: Cherie Priest
- Narrated by: Johanna Parker, Roger Wayne
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Overall
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Story
The people of Fall River, Massachusetts, fear me. Perhaps rightfully so. I remain a suspect in the brutal deaths of my father and his second wife despite the verdict of innocence at my trial. With our inheritance, my sister, Emma, and I have taken up residence in Maplecroft, a mansion near the sea and far from gossip and scrutiny.But it is not far enough from the affliction that possessed my parents. Their characters, their very souls, were consumed from within by something that left malevolent entities in their place.
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The lengthy build up is worth the mystery.
- By DabOfDarkness on 10-25-14
By: Cherie Priest
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The Oversight
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Once there were hundreds of members of the Oversight, the brave souls who guard the borders between the mundane and the magic. Now there are only five. When a vagabond brings a screaming girl to the Oversight's London headquarters, she could answer their hopes for new recruit, or she could be the instrument of their downfall.
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Fantastic start to a fantasy series
- By jessica on 06-01-14
By: Charlie Fletcher
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The Strange Affair of Spring Heeled Jack
- Burton & Swinburne, Book 1
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Sir Richard Francis Burton and Algernon Charles Swinburne are sucked into the perilous depths of a moral and ethical vacuum when Lord Palmerston commissions Burton to investigate assaults on young women committed by a weird apparition known as Spring Heeled Jack - and to find out why werewolves are terrorizing London's East End.
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Fun Steampunk but on the outlandish side
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By: Mark Hodder
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Steampunk! An Anthology of Fantastically Rich and Strange Stories
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Story
Imagine an alternate universe where romance and technology reign. Where tinkerers and dreamers craft and recraft a world of automatons, ornate clockworks, calculating machines, and other marvels that. Where scientists and schoolgirls, fair folk and Romans, intergalactic bandits, and intrepid orphans - decked out in corsets, clockwerk suits, and tall black boots - solve dastardly crimes, escape from monstrous predicaments, consult oracles, and hover over volcanoes in steam-powered airships.
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MMMM, Orca Bacon
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 09-14-13
By: Kelly Link - editor, and others
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Perchance to Dream
- Selected Stories
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The profoundly original and wildly entertaining short stories of a legendary Twilight Zone writer. It is only natural that Charles Beaumont would make a name for himself crafting scripts for The Twilight Zone - for his was an imagination so limitless it must have emerged from some other dimension. Perchance to Dream contains a selection of Beaumont's finest stories, including five that he later adapted for Twilight Zone episodes.
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Contents
- By Ralph Freaster on 06-22-16
By: Charles Beaumont
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Standing by the Wall
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Espionage. Blackmail. Revenge. Cunning. Slapstick. State secrets dating back to the fall of the Berlin Wall. All this and more in a tight package of five novellas by Mick Herron, CWA Gold Dagger-winning author of Slow Horses.
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More Please
- By Katy on 01-27-23
By: Mick Herron
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The Monstrumologist
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Dr. Warthrop is a scientist who tracks and studies real-life monsters. Assisted by his 12-year-old apprentice, Will Henry, Dr. Warthrop discovers a pod of Anthropophagi and launches a hunt to destroy the foul beasts.
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Reader Be Warned
- By Eddie on 01-25-15
By: Rick Yancey
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Rag and Bone
- By: KJ Charles
- Narrated by: Cornell Collins
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Crispin Tredarloe never meant to become a warlock. Freed from his treacherous master, he's learning how to use his magical powers the right way. But it's brutally hard work. Not everyone believes he's a reformed character, and the strain is putting unbearable pressure on his secret relationship with waste-man Ned Hall. Ned's sick of magic. Sick of the trouble it brings, sick of its dangerous grip on Crispin and the miserable look it puts in his eyes, and sick of being afraid that a gentleman magician won't want a street paper-seller forever....
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Going against type works well
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 07-01-22
By: KJ Charles
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Timothy Walter Bolton - better known as Timmy - has spent most of his life as a necromancer. When he isn't terrorising his enemies, he's plotting inside his castle, which is built on top of lightless chasms filled with nameless horrors and beings of a generally malevolent and megalomaniacal nature. But after one of his latest creations, a zombie hydra-dragon-bear, tries to eat him, he decides that maybe it's time to find a new, less dangerous, career.
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Sound Editing Needed
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What listeners say about Johannes Cabal The Necromancer
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Guillermo
- 06-19-10
Masterpiece Comedy
This isn't just a book that has many moments that made me laugh out loud. It's well told narrative with suspense and twists.
If it was just a comedy I wouldn't give this five stars. But it's clever, passionate, well narrated and beautifully sarcastic.
I had as much fun listening to this as I had 30 years ago reading Bored of the Rings or in the 80's and 90's reading Good Omens or the first few Xanth novels by Piers Anthony. Also, if you like passionately fun novels like Infected/Contagious you also might like this, too.
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46 people found this helpful
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- Jim "The Impatient"
- 12-04-17
THAT'S SARCASM ISN'T IT
Mind Wondering
Yes, if you like Douglass Adams or Terry Pratchett, you will like this. I am not at fan of either and did not find this funny and could not keep my mind from wondering.
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37 people found this helpful
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- Stuart
- 03-18-10
Methadone your Gaiman or Pratchett fix
Yes, I'm one of those. Gaiman and Pratchett can't write them fast enough and Adams is currently dead (for tax reasons, I believe). Howard isn't as funny, but he's got dark and ironic down--which is more than enough to stave off the withdraw shakes for another day. And, in all fairness, this is a better showing for an early work than most of Pratchett's first several books. As far as audio goes, Christopher Cazenove does a superb job talking us through this freak show.
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36 people found this helpful
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- Ruth
- 10-30-09
Absolutely wonderful narrator
The narrator was just the best that could be for this story. His accents were great, all of them. The story has a solid pace, somewhat like Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell, you either like it or you don't.The humour is as dry as an autumn leaf, and thinly served up, so as not to overwhelm. A very good listen.
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29 people found this helpful
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- Jefferson
- 10-13-11
The Necromancer as Diabolic Showman
Johannes Cabal once sold his soul to the devil in return for necromantic knowledge that would propel him towards his goal in the dark arts, only to discover that his soullessness always skews the results of his black scientific experiments. Therefore, he makes a wager with Satan: if he can get 100 people to sign their souls over to the devil within one year, Satan will return Cabal's soul to him. To "help" Cabal, Satan gives him the use of an infernal traveling carnival and a ball of Satanic blood with which to conjure up workers and attractions. The penalty for failure is Cabal's death and damnation.
Thus begins Jonathan L. Howard's macabre, humorous, and strangely moving novel Johannes Cabal the Necromancer. Howard's fresh takes on hellish horror tropes like vampires, ghosts, demons, warlocks, imps, zombies, and Lovecraftian cults, is entertaining. His similes are often funny and original, as when the smoke from the infernal train engine rises up to the sky like the pyres of witches or martyrs. I liked much of the social satire, about, for instance, the insanity of war or men who beat women. Sometimes Howard's jokes and allusions are a bit too contemporary or cheap, as in revealing that Satan created lawyers or as in having Al Capone misspell "venereal" on the form he's trying to fill in to enter hell. But Cabal is a fascinating anti-hero protagonist, his relationship with his big brother Horst is compelling, and his mysterious reason for being a necromancer is intriguing. And the climax and resolution of the novel are suspenseful and satisfying (though I could have done with a little less of Layla the Latex Lady).
Christopher Cazenove marvelously reads the novel (as he does with The Merry Adventures of Robinhood and Peter Pan), with perfect rhythm and clear enunciation and varied voices for different characters, from Cabal's stiff, cold, and slightly Germanic accent through Bones' ingratiating Americanisms and Satan's infernal humor and silk and rage. Fans of Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman ought to enjoy this book.
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23 people found this helpful
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- BazaarPatron
- 09-14-12
Fun macabre, occult, tale in Belle Époque Britain
Fun story, great historical setting, humorous situations & dialogue, interesting characters, rich prose and a narrator who just knocked it out of the park. If you agree with my other reviews, trust me on this on this one.
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14 people found this helpful
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- Tango
- 01-26-15
Completely Captivated
I have now heard all the books in this series and the only criticism I have is that the narrator changes through the series. Although Christopher Cazenove is the best of them, fortunately, all are quite competent. And, since Jonathan L. Howard does not follow the current overly used trend of first person, his third person narrative is not really harmed by the change in narration.
It is hard to describe this book or this series that is a fantasy turn on alternate reality with a bit of steampunk, but I found myself completely captivated, thoroughly entertained, and desperate for more. Howard's writing is witty, wry, sardonic, and very clever and his characterizations are brilliant - odd and strangely sympathetic. One reviewer aptly compared the tone to "Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell", but this is much more fast paced with characters that are ultimately more likable as bits and pieces of the backstory fill in the gaps. This is my favorite type of series - each of the books delivers a satisfying resolution to the immediate conflict with an overarching goal that ties the series together so each book is a credit-worthy experience.
Dark and delicious - I can't wait to forget the plot points in the series so I can enjoy it again!
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11 people found this helpful
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- Thomas
- 12-19-09
More johannes please
Perfect pitch dark fantasy comedy.Dripping with sarcasm and wit, johannes and his brother weave a great story. Fans of Neil Gaiman, Terry Pratchett will not be disappointed.
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9 people found this helpful
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- We4Williams
- 08-29-11
Great narration, not great story
I really wanted to like this book. The narrator was amazing and the premise sounded great. I just couldn't get into it. I must have restarted it three times before I finally made myself stick to it. In the end I listened to it at triple speed just to finish it. I just couldn't make myself care about Johannes Cabal. I like anti-heros as much as the next gal but this guy was just "anti", no "hero".
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8 people found this helpful
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- Lesley
- 09-21-09
Recommended!
A great book to cheer you up while stuck in rush hour traffic! Very funny and well performed.
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8 people found this helpful