• Fashionably Dead in Diapers

  • By: Robyn Peterman
  • Narrated by: Jessica Almasy
  • Length: 6 hrs and 49 mins
  • 4.7 out of 5 stars (1,424 ratings)

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Fashionably Dead in Diapers  By  cover art

Fashionably Dead in Diapers

By: Robyn Peterman
Narrated by: Jessica Almasy
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Publisher's summary

And I thought being half Vampyre/half Demon was hard.... That's nothing compared to being a mother. Sweet baby Moses in a boob tube, there aren't any books on raising True Immortals, so let me give you a few tips....

Make a map of every closet and bathroom in your home if you enjoy having sex. Sleep deprivation can cause confusion, and a map will help if you have only seven minutes and 31 seconds. You're welcome.

Parenting books are useless if you're not human. If your child is half Vampyre/half Demon, I would suggest not using parenting books at all - they can backfire like a mother humper. Trust me on this.

Have sex.

When your child tells you he has an imaginary friend, do not discount this as fantasy. Oftentimes your child isn't imagining anything. If he persists with alarming and violent stories about this fictional buddy, it's probably a Troll. Do a thorough search of your home, and kill it. Decapitation works best. Some imaginary friends are harmless. However, it's wise not to take chances.

Have sex again.

When in large crowds, make sure you hold tight to your child's hand. Losing a child in an amusement park is terrifying. If you're truly paranoid, you could consider putting a chip in your child. If you do this, don't discuss it at dinner parties. People will think you are weird.

At least cuddle.

Playing with dolls is fun. Being one? No so much. If your child ever finds a Genie in a bottle, flush it immediately. Many children wish for things that are very difficult to reverse...like being doll sized. If this happens, move to Oz. There are many people of small stature there. And yes, it really does exist.

Find a closet, and go to town.

©2015 Robyn Peterman (P)2016 Audible, Inc.

What listeners say about Fashionably Dead in Diapers

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  • 4.5 out of 5 stars
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  • Overall
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Very funny family!

One of the funniest series I have ever read, hope there are many more books to come and that baby doesn't grow up very quickly.

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2 people found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Such a great book!

I love that we get to see Astrid and Ethan's baby, and what he becomes. Being a parent is not easy, being this baby's parent could be deadly!
I loved that so many past characters were in this book, who doesn't love, Pam, The Kev, Gemma, and Satan?
"Sweet baby Moses in a boob tube" things like that just made me crack up, I have also happily added a few new swear words to my vocabulary.
The beginning of each chapter starts with some very helpful parenting tips if you should ever have a half Vampyre/half Demon baby.
I fell in love with this series from the first book, and I will surely be sad to see them end. I cannot say I will miss the accidental spraying of drinks out my nose.
Great job to Robyn and Jessica for bringing this book to life!
I cannot wait to listen to the rest of the books!

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

The Vamps & Samuel

This book is awesome and is an amazing books to listen to. I recommend this book to anyone who is looking for a great time and love in a title that is funny and a lovely cluster....well you get it! ^_^

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

The baby, OMG the baby!!! LOL!

Okay, maybe I am a bit twisted, but I adored ALL of these books. I seriously bought 1-9 in a span of about 2 weeks. I could NOT get enough! The absurd things that come out of these characters mouths is not only funny, blasphemous, outlandish, idiotic and something downright horrible, they crack me up in the best way! I told my co-workers about these books and they just couldn't believe it, then I read them the pitch from the audible website and they bent over laughing so hard they begged me to stop talking. These books are AWESOME! If you love book 1 just download all of them.

This review will be repeated 5 more times :- )

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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Entertaining...

Entertaining story with Astrid struggling with amnesia for approximately 75% of the book. I've liked Ethan from the start of the series, but his patience with Astrid and her memory loss while worrying for his son made me adore him. Samuel is absolutely adorable, extraordinarily gifted, and a 100% awesome. He will keep his parents and family friends on their toes for a very long time. This story is full of humor, drama, and interesting characters! Highly recommend this series!

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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Think you're a bad parent?! Think again!

These books are such crazy fun! I love them so much! If you ever want to escape from reality and feel like a better parent then listen to this and die laughing!

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Oh my god,oh my god,oh my god, oh my god

Potty mouth Astrid's at it again, only this time she has a child, and oh what a child he is. I won't ruin it for you, but I swear this book was even better than the last. I'm still laughing at this one. The Kev and his fairy friends are Hilarious as are Bon Jovi and Pink. I'm telling you, you'll be rolling your eyes and cracking up with the Lucille ball type escapade Astrid gets into. Well I'm off for my next adventure with Astrid and Ethan.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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I love them

I struggled to find a series. I loved Kresley Cole immortals after dark series.. this is a lighter version to me.. it's fun and super creative with the characters.. I gobble these up.. I listen approx 7 hours a day and these are perfect!!

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Bundle of Chaos

Would you listen to Fashionably Dead in Diapers again? Why?

Omg yes, Samuel is the cutest and so full of trouble and powerful as all get out.

Who was your favorite character and why?

Samuel he's a tiny adorable and powerful baby who is always up to something and sometimes more than his parents can handle. Plus he's growing super fast and talking at 3 months old that's just crazy.

Which scene was your favorite?

When Martha and Jane perform for the fairies version of American Idol. It was hideous and absolutely hilarious

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

Yup would have loved to!

Any additional comments?

Robyn continues to entertain with her brilliant and hilarious imagination. In this installment of the Hot Damned series you'll go on an adventure of epic proportions and encounter wild and zany new characters as well as the original favorites from the series. You will laugh until you pee your pants while holding on to the edge of your seat. Fun, humor and romance abound in this book, so be ready to giggle and be sucked in to the wild world of the Hot Damned series. Can't wait to see what this author has in store for me next!

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1 person found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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I'm here for the crazy!

This series is still as crazy as ever. Besides the string of ridiculous profanity. The imagination Ms. Peterman must possess to write all these wild characters and scenarios is astonishing. This series has the phrase "Who things of these things?" written all over it. With the vivid and creative description of the scenes, the read is quite entertaining. I would recommend it.

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