Description: Happy One Year Anniversary! Sam has done the unthinkable and has adopted a hamster, despite all the horrific ways these eldritch beings continue to perish. Like, who does she think she is? Well, at least she’s not the terrifying serial killer she decided to cover for today’s episode: Israel Keys. And if she’s lucky, the hamster won’t turn out like Katarzyna Zowada. Oh, you have no idea what we’re talking about? Well then chug a cucumber margarita and listen to the episode! Doy!

There are no words for the absolute nastiness of these next two cases. One involves the internet’s “Toxic Lady” aka Gloria Ramirez. The second involves Rigor Morgarita’s first cannibal, Issei Sagawa. If you ever get nauseous, drink a shirley temple and let the bubbles cleanse you of the world’s sins.

It’s spooky season, bitch. Sam and Alli recorded this episode all the way back in August, but they’ve been ready for Halloween since July, and hope you have been too! To celebrate their favorite holiday, they’ve prepared some scary stories and a couple of glasses of butterbeer. So turn down the lights, bake some pumpkin bread, and strap in for the legendary cases of Lavinia Fisher and the Slenderman Stabbings.

Are you neglected by your parents? Do you just feel so numb, you create a hole in the couch like Lacey Fletcher? Or pray your wife will not compare you to her ex like John Emil List? Well, if you do, you should probably get some professional, psychological help for that…or drink a mixed berry margarita, whichever fits your budget.

We got two cases that go from 0-100 in a blink of an eye, which is crazy considering Alli and Sam have 10% left in their social batteries. So make yourself a vodka margarita and jump in for a low-energy but high-intensity episode where Alli and Sam talk about Addie Hall and Zac Bowen, and the mother of soap making, Leonarda Chianciulli.

Lock your doors. Turn off your lights. Hide in your basement. Because even sweet old grannies and ordinary playing cards can’t be trusted in today’s episode. But fret not! This cellar has all the perfect ingredients to make a refreshing cantaloupe margarita, so at least you got that going for ya.

Still with us? Well, we have a doozy of a drink that could put you on your ass! So lay back with a limoncello margarita and listen to Alli and Sam discuss the peculiar case of Room 1046 and the Chameleon Killer.

Ready to be traumatized? Great! Then do yourself a favor: make an entire batch of strawberry limeade margaritas and listen to the tales of the Clutter family murders and Lisa Montgomery: the baby snatcher.