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Publisher's Summary

Something Has to Change….

You can't put it into words, but something is happening to you. Your stomach churns, your heart aches, and the tension in your marriage is making you feel weary and a little crazy. The constant criticism, disrespect, cruelty, deceit, and gross indifference are eroding your confidence and breaking your spirit.

For any woman caught in an emotionally destructive marriage, Leslie Vernick offers a personalized path forward. Based on decades of counseling experience, her intensely practical, biblical advice will show you how to establish boundaries and break free from emotional abuse. Learn to:

  • identify damaging behaviors
  • gain the skills to respond wisely
  • promote healthy change
  • stay safe
  • understand when, why, and even how to leave
  • recognize that God sees and hates what is happening to you

Trying harder to be a perfect fantasy wife won’t help fix what’s wrong your marriage. Discover instead how you can initiate effective changes to stop the cycle of destruction and restore hope for the future.

©2014 Leslie Vernick (P)2014 eChristian

Critic Reviews

"Women in an emotionally abusive marriage do not need another book on how to have a good marriage; those books rub salt in raw wounds. No, they desperately need this book so that they can diagnose just how bad their marriage is and then, with Leslie’s clear expertise, develop a plan that will either begin to turn their marriage around...or give them a wise route of escape." (Dee Brestin, author of Idol Lies and the Friendships of Women)

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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I wish this book had been written 10 years ago

Would you listen to The Emotionally Destructive Marriage again? Why?

Yes, to remind myself when I start to feel guilty in the future over something I can no longer control.

What did you like best about this story?

I was raised in the church and when I married the first time I meant to stay married for life. But after 15 years of being in a ED marriage and realizing my spouse was unwillingly to change because of indifference. I left the marriage and have felt an immense feeling of guilt ever since due to my upbringing. I was unsure of where I could fit in at church, being a divorced woman. This book has helped me to clearly see that God understands how hard I tried to be the fantasy wife for my husband and that he hated seeing me repeatedly abused. He truly loves me more than my broken marriage. Now I understand.

Have you listened to any of Leslie Vernick’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

no

Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?

Yes, when she stated that God loved marriage but he loves me as a person more. This is something I thought I knew but not until she said it did I truly feel it.

8 of 8 people found this review helpful

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The Best

This book is my favorite on the subject. I've listened to it several times. It is full of Godly advise to stay well in a disfunctional marriage if you can and also contains Godly advise in how to leave well if you cant. God cares about our safety and sanity. You will not regret your purchase and will refer to it often as a center point for your healing and growth. Thank You Mrs. Vernick, I feel you have saved my life and greatly helped my children . God bless you and yours and all who seek God's intervention .

5 of 5 people found this review helpful

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Great Resource!

This book offers sound biblical and practical ways to understand and address emotional abuse in marriages. Leslie not only provides the biblical guidelines, she also provides specific and clear action steps. This book gives hope and clarity to those who are in abusive relationships. A must read for those who work with couples or in marriage ministry.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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dmv

wish i could find a counselor with her mindset in Nashville, tn. so difficult to find good christian counselor tasty hasn't been corrupted by the world. nice to hear scripture brought to life for the real world. wish you were here.

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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Get Your Head Out of the Clouds

Leslie shows the utmost compassion, understanding, and respect for hurting couples while standing by God's Word.
We are reminded that the Lord loves Each Individual NOT JUST MARRIAGE.
She is fair to BOTH SEXES.
Forget Fifty Shades of Grey, and let Leslie help you Get Your Lives and Marriages back on Track God's Way

3 of 3 people found this review helpful

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Must read for helping women

Biblical, practical, compassionate. Leslie offer great understanding of the difference between disappointing marriage and destructive marriage. Must read for pastors.

5 of 6 people found this review helpful

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empowering and helpful

I highly recommend this book to any Christian woman struggling with guilt and biblical obligations vs right and wrong and safety. I am more motivated now to work on my marriage with some healthy boundaries when I felt there was really no way I could.

2 of 2 people found this review helpful

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Amazing

amazing resource for women and men in a complicated marriage/relationship. must read for ALL pastors and counselors.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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giving a voice to emotionally abused spouse

this is a life transforming book that gives a voice to the emotionally abused spouse.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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I wish I would have had this book sooner.

I didn't get this book until a few years after divorcing. Leslie Vernick's wisdom & experience combines to explain many of the dynamics I've struggled with for so long. I am confident that leaving my destructive marriage was the right thing for me to do,. Even so, I wish I would have learned the tools explained here, so I might have been equipped to "stay well" before leaving...and "leave well" when it was time.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

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  • Julie Mahomed
  • 11-08-17

A Great and Informative Book

I gained some inside into other emotionally destructive marriages. Even though I have & had experienced some form of emotionally destructive traits by my husband over our 40 years plus of marriage, it is comforting to know that couples are struggling with this problem all around the world. The help & assistance suggested by Leslie Vernick to those abused women is of help to me. To have bible verses back up Leslie’s thoughts & helpfulness was a great blessing and strength. To also know God is there constantly beside me and knowing the right thing to do in difficult instances is very comforting. This subject of emotionally destructive marriages is so essential to get out to women because sometimes you feel like you’re the only person this is happening to & you must be really bad to upset your spouse. To know it’s not my problem but his is a comfort in itself, but then for a self centred person to see they have faults & they’re not the perfect 10 is a battle in itself. Thank you so much Leslie for your wonderful book! I loved it......