Welcome back to this week’s Frotcast, the second dumbest podcast on the internet after the All-In.

First up, a landmark legal case we will all be following intently: can someone be sued for a podcast bit? HEY GROK DELETE THE ENTIRE BACKLOG OF THE FROTCAST! A comedian is being sued for jokingly alleging (notice the ass-covering legalese from us) that the famous Lion King song translated to a warning about a lion, possibly a royal one. It’s going to be wild when Afroman is cited as legal precedent in this one. How do you say “because I got high” in Zulu?

Next, we listen as JD Vance gets sent to voice mail by Donald Trump while addressing the crowd at a rally in Hungary. Men will literally humiliate themselves voluntarily in front of a crowd at a former Soviet satellite instead of going to therapy. At this point, reasonable minds can only conclude that all these weirdos have a humiliation fetish.

Trump does, however, show up to tell us about what he got up to after the Village People show.

And finally, the tragic story of Jonathan, the world’s oldest tortoise, becoming ensnared in a crypto fraud scheme. I can assure you he’s alive, well, and hates it here every bit as much as you do.

The Lummer Man

You don’t need a drink. You need to listen to this week’s episode of the pod. Comedian and host of the I Hate Bill Maher podcast, Will Weldon joins Matt & Vince to talk about Mad Men season four episode eight, “The Summer Man.”

Don’s been so drunk lately that Betty doesn’t want him at his son’s birthday party, so in this episode, tries to chill out with the boozing by replacing it with swimming, journaling, and narrating. There is some question about whether the narration is supposed to make Don sound cool and smart, but the podcast’s official position is that saying things like “I looked up at The Barbizon, and thought of all the women in there—one in every room, touching themselves to sleep,” makes him sound like a weird old dork.

Back at the office, Joey goes full mask-off misogynist when Joan asks him to clean up after himself, because Joan is just like his mom. His mom who was always trying to make everyone look at her big knockers. I’m paraphrasing, but he does say that. He probably should have been fired on the spot for saying something so sus, but his last straw was drawing some erotic art featuring Joan. Peggy has no choice but to go full girlboss and show him the door. If Joey were a modern guy he would start a podcast so terrible he’d meet Louis Theroux.

Can you swim faster than Jon Hamm? Tell us in a five-star review on Apple Podcasts.

Email us at frotcast@gmail.com; leave us a voicemail at 415-275-0030

Support the Pod: become a patron at patreon.com/Frotcast and get more bonus content than you could ever want. Sign up for the Pod Yourself a Shoutout tier to hear Vince give you a shout out on the show, like this week's shoutouts for The Noodle, Raspberry, & The Wrestler.

-Description by Brent Flyberg

That’s What the Podcast’s For

You give us money, and we make podcasts for you. That’s the job. We have another banger for you this week. Dave Manheim of Dopey Podcast returns to talk to Matt & Vince about Mad Men season four episode seven, “The Suitcase.”

Is this the best episode of Mad Men? There’s certainly a lot to unpack. Get it? Suitcase? Unpack? Whatever, that joke is at least as funny as Peggy’s idea for a Samsonite ad. Mad Men would literally rather work all night (and drink a whole bottle of Canadian Club) than go to therapy, so instead of talking to someone about the grief he’s feeling about his dying California cool girl wife, Anna, Don makes Peggy stay late to keep working the Samsonite ad with him. He ruins Peggy’s birthday surprise in the process, and he never even says thank you, but as he notes, that is what the money's for.

That could be a whole episode right there, but there’s also a Liston vs. Ali fight, Roger making fun of recovering alcoholics, Ida Blankenship saying racist stuff, drunk Duck Phillips trying to poach Peggy, and full on fisticuffs between Don and Duck. Who wins? The guy who killed seventeen men in Okinawa, that’s who.

Does Don not know how to throw a punch, or does Jon Hamm not know how to throw a punch? Tell us your thoughts in a five-star review on Apple Podcasts.

Email us at frotcast@gmail.com; leave us a voicemail at 415-275-0030

Support the Pod: become a patron at patreon.com/Frotcast and get more bonus content than you could ever want. Sign up for the Pod Yourself a Shoutout tier to hear Vince give you a shout out on the show, like this week's shoutouts for Cap’n Crunch, The Spatula, #1, & Dolla.

-Description by Brent Flyberg

The Cure for the Common Podcast

Roll out the red carpet. We have an award-worthy guest for this week’s pod. Host of The Majority Report, Sam Seder joins Matt and Vince to talk about Mad Men season four episode six, “Waldorf Stories.”

It’s the advertising industry’s biggest night, and all the stars are in attendance, including Ned Elliot, Ted Chaough, General Rufus T. Bullshit, Ken Cosgrove, Herman “Duck” Phillips, and the night's big winner for Best Cleansers, Waxes, & Polishes, Don Draper of SCDP.

Riding the high of being crowned the new king of Madison Avenue, Don returns to the office in the beginning stage of what he’ll later recognize as a bender to riff taglines for Life Cereal off the dome and blurt out Roger’s wife’s cousin’s only copywriting idea. You may remember the scene, as it is responsible for Mad Men’s widest reaching cultural impact, the drunk Don meme.

Tell us your picks for this year’s Clio pool in a five-star review on Apple Podcasts.

Email us at frotcast@gmail.com; leave us a voicemail at 415-275-0030

Support the Pod: become a patron at patreon.com/Frotcast and get more bonus content than you could ever want. Sign up for the Pod Yourself a Shoutout tier to hear Vince give you a shout out on the show, like this week's shoutouts for The Shrew, Scary Spice, & Twilight.

-Description by Brent Flyberg

The Chrysanthelumlum and the Bum Bum

You better go to the store and grab a cantaloupe. We have a guest who expects gifts. Creator of Strip Law on Netflix, Cullen Crawford, joins Matt & Vince to talk about Mad Men season four episode five, “The Chrysanthemum and the Sword.”

Mad Men is, if nothing else, a television show, which means there has to be at least one episode in which important Japanese businessmen need to be impressed. Honda’s motorcycle men are shopping for a new ad agency and if you thought Roger was racist before, you’ve never seen him interact with people from the country whose servicemen killed his buddies in Dubya Dubya II. He does his best to verbally A-bomb the deal, but Don hatches a plan to impress Honda while dunking on Ted Chaough.

You don’t get to be that good at your job without also neglecting your kids, so on his one night with Sally and Bobby, he leaves them with his neighbor Phoebe so he can go on a date. While he’s gone, Sally cuts her own hair. Betty is pissed because she lacks the foresight to understand her new do would be very chic in Silver Lake today.

What should we order at Benihana? Tell us in a five-star review on Apple Podcasts.

Email us at frotcast@gmail.com; leave us a voicemail at 415-275-0030

Support the Pod: become a patron at patreon.com/Frotcast and get more bonus content than you could ever want. Sign up for the Pod Yourself a Shoutout tier to hear Vince give you a shout out on the show, like this week's shoutouts for The Canoe, Rouge, & Winner.

-Description by Brent Flyberg

Return of the Rat King

Pete’s gonna have a baby soon, but you’ve got a podcast right now. Once and future rat king and tech reporter for the New York Times, Mike Isaac, joins Matt & Vince to break down Mad Men season four episode four, “The Rejected.”

The title of the episode is definitely not in reference to Pete’s sperm, because Trudy’s egg has accepted one of them with open coronae radiatae. He’s excited to have a little Pete running around, presumably a little freak like his father, but he’s even more excited to immediately leverage his progeny for a business opportunity. He’s some kind of high WASP alright.

This episode is really about two of the very different possible outcomes of sexual intercourse. Trudy is with child, but after having sex with Don, Allison is bawling in focus groups and throwing paperweights around. Don, you ol’ rascal, you’ve done it again (driven a woman insane with your carelessness).

Type up your own letter of recommendation in five-star review on Apple Podcasts and we’ll sign.

Email us at frotcast@gmail.com; leave us a voicemail at 415-275-0030

Support the Pod: become a patron at patreon.com/Frotcast and get more bonus content than you could ever want. Sign up for the Pod Yourself a Shoutout tier to hear Vince give you a shout out on the show, like this week's shoutouts for The Bus, Bimmer, The Dude, JoRo, The Kuiet Strom.

-Description by Brent Flyberg

They’re not Homosexuals, They’re Divorced

Great news, it’s a Don in California episode of Mad Men and a banger episode of the pod. Head of video at Yahoo Sports and OG friend of the Frot, Matt Ufford, joins Matt and Vince to talk about season four episode three, “The Good News.”

It’s too bad Anna Draper has to die. Don really couldn’t ask for a cooler, chiller girl to be the wife of the guy whose identity he stole. All she wants from him is to hang out, smoke grass, nail her teenage niece, and keep paying her mortgage. It’s a sweet deal for everyone involved, but all sweet deals must come to end. Anna’s got (leg?) cancer. She’s gonna die, and Don is sad about it.

The good news for you the viewer is that Mad Men is often funniest when the mad men are sad men. Back in New York, one of Mad Men’s saddest men, Lane Pryce, is feeling very divorced and ready to hang, so they catch a Godzilla flick, get crowd worked by Finn DeTrolio, and end the night with some sex workers. It sounds pathetic, but feeling so pathetic is what motivates a man to pretend his steak is a big ol’ Texas belt buckle.

What movie did you see when you got divorced? Tell us in a five-star review on Apple Podcasts.

Email us at frotcast@gmail.com; leave us a voicemail at 415-275-0030

Support the Pod: become a patron at patreon.com/Frotcast and get more bonus content than you could ever want. Sign up for the Pod Yourself a Shoutout tier to hear Vince give you a shout out on the show, like this week's shoutouts for The Prince, M&M, K. Money, Stern, & Cumulus.

-Description by Brent Flyberg

Christmas Lums Butt Once a Year

It might be a balmy 82 degrees here in Los Angeles, but this week’s episode is feeling a bit like Christmas. Our gift to you, co-host of the Free With Ads podcast, Emily Fleming, joins Matt and Vince to talk about Mad Men season four episode two, “Christmas Comes But Once a Year.”

Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce is throwing a Christmas party! Why? Is it because they love and respect our lord and savior Jesus Christ? They want their employees to feel appreciated? They just love the Christmas spirit? No! It’s because one of the worst guys in the world is stopping by, and they need his money. Sort of like how you put on a sweater and see your Dad every December. Lee Garner Jr. is your dad in this analogy (cuz they’re both closeted).

Freddy Rumsen is back with dry pants and a new account, weird little Glen’s back with a lanyard for Sally, and regretfully, Don and his secretary are back in the office the day after he clumsily introduces her to his rye-pickled member. Don’t worry though, he gives her cash. That should make her feel good and not at all like a sex worker.

What type of listener are you? One of the cool ones or one of the handsome ones? Tell us in a five-star review on Apple Podcasts.

Email us at frotcast@gmail.com; leave us a voicemail at 415-275-0030

Support the Pod: become a patron at patreon.com/Frotcast and get more bonus content than you could ever want. Sign up for the Pod Yourself a Shoutout tier to hear Vince give you a shout out on the show, like this week's shoutouts for Diaper, Yan Can Cook, Doubles, & Lusty.