Playing Hurt

My Journey from Despair to Hope

By: John Saunders, John U. Bacon

Narrated by: Dion Graham

For the first time ever, the popular late host of ESPN's The Sports Reporters and ABC's college football openly discusses a lifelong battle with depression.

During his three decades on ESPN and ABC, John Saunders became one of the nation's most respected and beloved sportscasters. In this moving, jarring, and ultimately inspiring memoir, Saunders discusses his troubled childhood, the traumatic brain injury he suffered in 2011, and the severe depression that nearly cost him his life.

As Saunders writes, Playing Hurt is not an autobiography of a sports celebrity but a memoir of a man facing his own mental illness, and emerging better off for the effort. I will take you into the heart of my struggle with depression, including insights into some of its causes, its consequences, and its treatments. I invite you behind the façade of my apparently "perfect" life as a sportscaster, with a wonderful wife and two healthy, happy adult daughters. I have a lot to be thankful for, and I am truly grateful. But none of these things can protect me or anyone else from the disease of depression and its potentially lethal effects.

Mine is a rare story: that of a black man in the sports industry openly grappling with depression. I will share the good, the bad, and the ugly, including the lengths I've gone to to conceal my private life from the public. So why write a book? Because I want to end the pain and heartache that comes from leading a double life. I also want to reach out to the millions of people, especially men, who think they're alone and can't ask for help.

John Saunders died suddenly on August 10, 2016, from an enlarged heart, diabetes, and other complications. This book is his ultimate act of generosity to help those who suffer from mental illness, and those who love them.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying reference material will be available in your Library section along with the audio.

©2017 John Saunders and John U. Bacon (P)2017 Hachette Audio

Critic reviews

"Dion Graham narrates with just the right touches of emotion to get across the gravity of Saunders's story... Something about Graham's reading evokes Saunders - his steady on-air presence and likable personality.... Graham delivers a strong narration of this gripping book." (AudioFile)

"Playing Hurt is John Saunders's personal, poignant story of how he responded to childhood traumas, abuse, clinical depression, an array of head traumas, sports injuries, suicidal thoughts, and excessive use of prescribed medications throughout his life. His hard-learned message: when depression strikes, it is a sign of real strength to talk and turn to family, friends, and experts." (John F. Greden, MD, Founding Chair, National Network of Depression Centers, NNDC)

"Playing Hurt is a public service. Here is a trusted friend, a man who has spent so many hours in our living rooms, providing an education about brain injury, about depression, and the symbiosis between the two. Knowing he died so soon after he emerged from this fog is heartbreaking. Playing Hurt is a testament to John and the hidden struggles he overcame." (Ivan Maisel, ESPN.com, six-time winner Best Writing, Football Writers Association)

And awesome story about a true fighter

If you could sum up Playing Hurt in three words, what would they be?

Fighter, Loving, Father

Who was your favorite character and why?

John Saunders for being so brave in telling his story!

Have you listened to any of Dion Graham’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

No. Great Listen. Easily my favorite Audible voice

Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?

Yes

From the heart

This book was well worth the time and I recommend it. It will provide deep insight into the type of turmoil that people with depression have to deal with and how difficult it is to remain productive. Saunders really opens up his life for the reader to view and I was glad to see that he was able to remain grateful for all of the good things that happened to him.

a difficult subject very well told. Thanks you

This was a book I almost stopped listening to a couple of time due to the story. Having watched John Saunders since he came to ESPN, I appreciated his skill and professionalism, but hearing the stories made me feel terrible. I have also been a long time fan of John U Bacon and his works. If you know or are suffering from depression I highly recommend this book. Amazing work

You never know what someone’s going through

I usually don’t like listening to audio books that are not read by the author. But this guy did a great job performing John’s incredible story. It’s amazing how you can be oblivious to someone’s inner pain. I use to love watching John on tv and I’m grateful for him sharing his story. Great Read/Listen

what I needed

loved this book! explained a lot of what I was thinking but couldn't put into words. I really appreciated the honest language and emotions in this book as well

Sadly honest

Sad but honest account of dealing with depression. Helps explain bouts of depression, too. Bless Mr Saunders’ family and friends.

A worthwhile read!

Very interesting autobiography. John led a full life in his 60 years. I admire his honesty and courage in sharing the details of that life in an effort to help others.

What honesty looks like.

Like so many people, I was always drawn to the person that John seemed to be. I’d watch shows and games simply because he was on them. It is so nice to find out that he was as he appeared.

Also like many others, I was of the mistaken belief that his depression had finally worn him down. It’s an odd thing to say, but I was so “relieved” that he ultimately succumbed to the body we each have and not the demons that inhabited his.

He was a person and people are all imperfect, but as much as I liked him then, I admire him so much now. This book was an honest example of the man and the reasons for his legacy and continuing popularity. He is, will and should be remembered for who he was, not for what he did, both personally and professionally.

I am one of so many that didn’t know John, but miss him terribly.

Great Book!

Very relatable and in the edge, can’t wait to hear what happens next story telling.

A Story That Can Save Lives!

John Saunders was one of my favorite sportscasters. As a young person, watching him on television aided in my inspiration to speak and read well. In Black culture, often, those of us who speak properly are seen as less than Black, or somehow ashamed of our heritage. This is an issue Mr. Saunders addressed briefly in his book. It was encouraging to know how he dealt with that, counteracting that stigma with poise and grace. More importantly, I wish that I could thank him personally for sharing his life experience with the world. His struggle could help tip the scale in the fight against depression, which is a real and intense battle. It helped me in my own struggle with depression, giving me tremendous insight into how I can cope with this disease. Thank you John, you may have saved my life!