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Publisher's Summary

Bobby Kaye's life story started and ended with an email, and then the monkey dung hit the fan. We're talking blue plague monkeys, tulwar-swinging cab drivers, a ride-on-mower caravan of unbridled mass consumption, and a moon-infatuated, eight-legged story-telling spider god going toe-to-toe-to-toe-to-toe with the merciless, scud-spear wielding Nigerian spam genie - Prince Wanna-Wanna-Wanna! 

This is the wildest and weirdest novella I have ever made. Not recommended for young listeners or those who are easily offended. 

©2008 Steve Vernon (P)2018 Steve Vernon

Critic Reviews

"The genre needs new blood and Steve Vernon is quite a transfusion." (Edward Lee, author of Flesh Gothic and City Infernal)

What members say

Average Customer Ratings

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

Don't respond to email spam

This is a ride down the rabbit hole with a madman. Graphic, bizarre, and absolutely mind bending. I wanted to think that this was just the writing of an awkward author going through puberty and trying to put on to paper his chemically imbalanced thoughts. By the time I finished the story I realized that somehow deep within all the craziness there is a brilliant love story of a man trying to find his one true love.
I thought this story was unique in that it seemed to stream random facts, possibly made up, along with the story that somehow were relevant. The part I found most interesting as it is super easy to figure out yet somehow something totally genius was the monkey trap. Listening to how the monkey trapped worked with the bottle and candy made complete sense yet I was amazed that someone was able to figure that out. If the author made up even better. The cab driver’s story also struck me as I felt for him while he was constantly searching for his gray haired lady. It in my mind this was the saddest part of the book, one that shouldn’t really evoke that emotion at all. I found plenty of little pieces like this within the story that really made it quite great.
I’m a huge fan of Rick Gregory’s narration and so I have come across plenty of different stories and narration voices by him. I have to say that I enjoyed some of his character voices more so in this book than many of his others. I really think that he is becoming a greater narrator with each book. Some of his grittier voices that drew me to him seem to be fading a bit but I still really enjoy every bit of his narration.
I was voluntarily provided this free review copy audiobook by the author, narrator, or publisher.

5 of 5 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Vernon spins a psychedelic tale

I don't know what is going on anymore. All my favorite authors, Steve Vernon, Kevin Candela, Roma Gray, etc are creating these insane and yet fantastic worlds that defy a normal person's imagination, and they ask us to just step inside, look around, and suspend our disbelief for something we can barely concieve of let alone follow along. Yet, I walk right into these traps everytime, and while I firmly believe that my brain is slowly being rewired in true Lovecraftian style and my sanity isn't as solid as it once was I AM having the time of my life.

Vernon has a solid track record as an incredible story teller, and somehow, I don't know how, he manages to vacillate betwen humor and horror. Honestly, if you think about it, the two are not unrelated, people do laugh when they are nervous or afraid; Vernon just knows how to meld the macbre with the mirth in the right proportions, and with the Plague Monkey Spam story he outdoes himself. This is some bizarre concoction of caffeine fueled, high adrenaline, daymare that will stick in your head like wet spaghetti splattered on a wall after being fired from a shot gun. I cannot explain this story to you and still remain coherent sounding. Which is really really good.

Rick Gregory breathes this story in and exhales a vocal masterpiece. The man is one of my cherished narrators, and he always continues to surprise me with his storytelling abilities. He does that EVERYTIME I listen to him. He has an easy to listen to voice, and knows how to convert the written word into a melody rather than a cacophony.

If you want your mind blown by some crazy off the wall story, when the wall isn't even on the planet or this dimension for that matter, and you've ever wondered what meth-laced crack would do to your head, give this story a try. Even if you don't want to feel that way, please read it. You will not know what real imagination is until you givethis buggy baby whirl. Even though I did receive a promo code for this review it in no way influenced my considerations of the material, and in fact, inspired me to be more honest. In fact, getting a code generally makes me harsher as a reviewer as I am more often concerned what someone like Me will decide based on my review.

If this review helped, please press the YES below. Thank you immensely!!!

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Jason
  • Sacramento, CA
  • 07-07-18

Oh what a web he weaves!!!

Wow, WTF did I just listen to? Steve Vernon has done it again. His twisted story telling is so far removed from anyone else, it is difficult to make any comparisons. Great author. This story is twisted in a way that is very hard to define. It asks you to suspend all disbelief and just come along for the ride. It leaves the story up for interpretation, is this really happening or is it all in the writers mind? It is heavy on the meta fiction as Mr. Vernon may very well be writing about himself and some crazy ass, acid trip of a dream he had one day, or again, it could all be in the writers head!!!

Rick Gregory is really growing as a narrator. His craft has improved greatly in the year or so that I have been listening to his work. His character voices are getting better and his pacing is flowing better. All this and I was already a fan. Keep up the good work.

I requested a free review copy of this audiobook and I am leaving a voluntary and honest review.

4 of 4 people found this review helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Very funny and entertaining

This book was provided free of charge with the expectation of a review.

This book was one of the funniest that I listened to in a long time.

It involves a writer who can't resist answering an email spam. He and his wife are then left to contend with a blue monkey and a spider god who come to their world. The various antics are both crude and humorous and are meant to break the writer out of his funk.

The narration of this book was outstanding. The range of voices for people were exceptionally well done. Truly a good listen and look forward to more books by the author and the narrator.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Quite the trip...

An audio acid trip. Steve Vernon is a connoisseur of metaphors, and I believe he's made a full novela out of one here. A crazy novela. Really crazy. Seriously.

1 of 1 people found this review helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

Mind. Blown. Holy....

This is either completely freaking insane or completely brilliant, or even weirder, a grand combination of both. Whoa. I can't even begin to explain it, you just have to go there and go with it..... maybe you'll come out of it unscathed, and maybe you won't.... but it's no fun unless you try ;) Do it!

Narration is ridiculous.. GOOD! Really cool. Great job, all around. I'll never be the same ;) Whether that's a good thing, or a bad thing, remains to be seen.

I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review.

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
  • James
  • Powderly, KY, United States
  • 08-11-18

Krazy!

Very fast paced book. I would compare it to Neil Gaiman meeting David Wong meeting the Flash. Very fast, but also very well written and narrated.

“I was voluntarily provided this free review copy audiobook by the author, narrator, or publisher.”

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars

Plague Monkey Spam

Even too weird for me I'm afraid.Rick Gregory was a fine narrator though.
I was given this book by the narrator,author or publisher free for an honest review.

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Freaky Story!

I received this audio book for free in exchange for my honest review. This is a strange story that is extremely entertaining. I'm positive that you will enjoy it.

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Very strange

This was a very strange book. Strange in a good way though. It reminds me of the weird tales I'd enjoy as a kid from The Twilight Zone or Tales From The Crypt! This was creepy and all kinds of weird! Great narration by Rick Gregory!