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On Her Knees
- Memoir of a Prayerful Jezebel
- Narrated by: Brenda Marie Davies
- Length: 7 hrs and 2 mins
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On Her Knees
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Publisher's Summary
"The problem was, because purity is an idol (a validated and worshiped idol), I didn’t know who or what I’d be without my totem. My Christianity depended on purity.”
Going to a conservative Christian church when she was young, Brenda Marie Davies heard a consistent message - save yourself for marriage - that instilled in her fear and shame about sex. But after moving to Los Angeles at 19 and finding herself suddenly exposed to a world far outside her comfort zone, she was forced to wrestle with the power and perversity of Christian purity culture.
On Her Knees chronicles Brenda’s spiritual journey over the course of a decade in LA through marriage, divorce, unlikely friendship, and sexual exploration. Through it all, she began tearing down the false idol of purity while refusing to abandon her faith. Told with raw honesty, sans obligatory shame, this is a story for anyone who wonders if it’s possible to love God without fearing sex, in all its shades of grey.
What listeners say about On Her Knees
Average Customer RatingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 04-22-21
This book is PHENOMENAL
This book is amazing. A must listen for anyone who grew up in purity culture specifically! This book really takes you through the harm purity culture causes. Brenda is raw and real about her life and I know her openness about her personal experiences will help so many people. There are tons of people out there feeling alone in their “deconstruction” journey and it’s so important have books like this in existence! I hope this is just the beginning of her writing! If you haven’t, you should also check out her podcast and YouTube channel- God is Grey.
5 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Holly
- 04-20-21
Captivating & Beautiful
I felt like I was at a sleepover with Brenda as she eloquently shared her stories and wisdom. I think we all see pieces of ourselves in these intimate tales. Listening to this book was an honour.
5 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Victoria
- 05-05-21
Relatable
I was raised in a sex-positive household while my partner grew up in purity culture. This book put a lot of my secondhand experiences/shame into words. I'm so glad that there are more Christian authors sharing the experience of inviting the divine into all aspects of life, sex included.
4 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Jessie
- 04-24-21
I didn’t know how much I needed this!
This book was so open and honest! I didn’t know that I needed to hear this message as much as I did. I l connected in so many ways to the message- I could literally feel it.
3 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Isabelle McCauley
- 05-11-21
I need more!
Brendaaaa 😭 thank you for sharing this story with us.
Why did it end?! We need so much more please! Thank you for sharing all the scary parts. I’m proud to be in your GIG community. Can you please write another book like..ASAP?!
Xo
2 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Sophia Spallino
- 05-10-21
Vulnerable truth
Brenda writes from the most honest perspective, calling us all to a higher level of integrity — sexually and spiritually. My heart is exploding. You are never alone, and Brenda’s journey validates the fears all deconstructing Christians have.
2 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- E&R Smith
- 05-02-21
Keeping it real
I so appreciate brenda’s story. She could have shied away from the darkest parts but she shares it all. I felt a sense of freedom as I read like, oh it’s not just me? The schism that develops when we are unable to accept and forgive all the parts of ourselves.. she speaks to that and I cannot thank her enough for her candor and openness and the grace which she offers herself, lets others know there is grace for them too. That maybe, just maybe, we’ve been sold a bill of goods with this purity stuff. And maybe just maybe, it’s patriarchal bullshit. Yeah, in fact, f*ck purity culture!
2 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Erika Muir
- 04-27-21
Thank you Brenda!
Absolutely amazing. Just finished this book and I am speechless. All I can say is that you must read it for yourself!
2 people found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 09-09-21
Vulnerable, Raw, & Captivating
Brenda does an amazing job at telling her story about the ups and downs of her spiritual journey. Her story certainly commands your attention and ends on an encouraging note.
1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Irina Phoenix
- 09-05-21
Made me feel like I'm not alone.
Brenda is vulnerable and honest in a way that is so refreshing and relatable. She said so many things out loud that I was afraid to admit I was even thinking. This book is a great expression of why love and relationships and faith is about more than checking boxes or following rules.
1 person found this helpful
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Anonymous User
- 09-19-21
A powerful read
Brenda is such an incredible storyteller, and her writing really gets you. This book made me angry, happy and teary eyed, I felt everything listening to this audiobook and I can’t recommend it enough. It’s such a personal and important book, and I’m so glad she got to tell her story and spread her love and kindness with readers.
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Overall2 out of 5 stars
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Performance4 out of 5 stars
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Story3 out of 5 stars
- sammieseagull
- 05-05-21
Glamorises sin
The swearing is constant, glamorising everything unbiblical. Brenda seems a nice lady but this book revels in sex parties, curse words and crude living.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Isi Adeola
- 05-03-21
Poignant, Harrowing & Beautiful
I absolutely loved this! Brenda’s refreshingly honest journey from evangelical purity culture to sexual integrity was beautiful to listen to. Would definitely recommend!
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Isaac Webb
- 04-28-21
Must read!
An absolutely wonderful book full of honesty, love, pain, joy and reconciliation to oneself. This book is a must read for anyone raised within Purity Culture, and for anyone who is currently perpetuating the harmful ideologies that Brenda so beautifully unpacks in this memoir.
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Overall5 out of 5 stars
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Performance5 out of 5 stars
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Story5 out of 5 stars
- Amazon Customer
- 04-25-21
Beautiful and honest.
Brenda is a very good writer and an engaging narrator. she weaves her intimate story into
a beautiful cautionary tale about purity culture.
I know this will make a difference for young people in and out of Christian evangelical circles.
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-
Story4 out of 5 stars 106
A gut-wrenching, beautiful memoir which explores toxic masculinity and the devastating consequences of war on one impressionable young soldier Matt Young joined the Marine Corps aged 18, after a drunken night that culminated in him crashing his car into a fire hydrant. The teenage wasteland he fled followed him to the training bases of California. Young survived training and then three deployments to Iraq as an infantryman.
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1 out of 5 stars
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Annoying and smug
- By Charlie on 01-03-19
By: Matt Young
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Undaunted
- Surviving Jonestown, Summoning Courage, and Fighting Back
- By: Jackie Speier
- Narrated by: Jackie Speier
- Length: 6 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 225
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 187
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 186
Jackie Speier was twenty-eight when she joined Congressman Leo Ryan’s delegation to rescue defectors from cult leader Jim Jones’s Peoples Temple in Jonestown, Guyana. Ryan was killed on the airstrip tarmac. Jackie was shot five times at point-blank range. While recovering from what would become one of the most harrowing tragedies in recent history, Jackie had to choose: Would she become a victim or a fighter? The choice to survive against unfathomable odds empowered her with a resolve to become a vocal proponent for human rights.
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5 out of 5 stars
-
loved it
- By RockyDog on 11-18-18
By: Jackie Speier
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Rock Needs River
- A Memoir About a Very Open Adoption
- By: Vanessa McGrady
- Narrated by: Vanessa McGrady
- Length: 5 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 164
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 130
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 130
After two years of waiting to adopt - slogging through paperwork and bouncing between hope and despair - a miracle finally happened for Vanessa McGrady. Her sweet baby, Grace, was a dream come true. Then Vanessa made a highly uncommon gesture: when Grace’s biological parents became homeless, Vanessa invited them to stay. Without a blueprint for navigating the practical basics of an open adoption or any discussion of expectations or boundaries, the unusual living arrangement became a bottomless well of conflicting emotions and increasingly difficult decisions.
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1 out of 5 stars
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A story of Self Absorption
- By dusti on 02-26-19
By: Vanessa McGrady
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Widowish
- A Memoir
- By: Melissa Gould
- Narrated by: Rachel Botchan
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 72
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 60
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 61
When Melissa Gould’s husband, Joel, was unexpectedly hospitalized, she could not imagine how her life was about to change. Overwhelmed with uncertainty as Joel’s condition tragically worsened, she offered him the only thing she could: her love and devotion. Her dedication didn’t end with his death. Melissa soon realized that her and Joel’s love lived on. Melissa found she didn’t fit the typical mold of widowhood or meet the expectations of mourning. She didn’t look like a widow or act like a widow, but she felt like one. Melissa was widowish.
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4 out of 5 stars
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She had me until The Other Joel
- By N. N. Fowlds on 02-28-21
By: Melissa Gould
-
Like Wind Against Rock
- A Novel
- By: Nancy Kim
- Narrated by: Jackie Chung, Keong Sim
- Length: 7 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 199
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 177
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 177
At the age of thirty-nine, Alice Chang suddenly finds herself living in the last place she expected: her mother’s house. But in the face of divorce, eviction, and the recent death of her father, she doesn’t have a choice. Watching as her mother thrives in a new job and meets younger men at the local gym, Alice struggles, reflecting on her parents’ marriage, her relationship with each of them, as she adjusts to being single again for the first time in twenty years. Then she finds her father’s old journal...and uncovers a shocking family secret.
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5 out of 5 stars
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A story of a life
- By Dee on 11-21-21
By: Nancy Kim
-
The Incest Diary
- By: Anonymous
- Narrated by: Barbara Rosenblat
- Length: 3 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 186
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 167
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Story4 out of 5 stars 169
Throughout her childhood and adolescence, the anonymous author of The Incest Diary was raped by her father. Beneath a veneer of normal family life, she grew up in and around this all-encompassing secret. Her sexual relationship with her father lasted, off and on, into her 20s. It formed her world, and it formed her deepest fears and desires.
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5 out of 5 stars
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If I Can Bear Witness, I Must
- By Erin - Audible on 07-27-17
By: Anonymous
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Eat the Apple
- A Memoir
- By: Matt Young
- Narrated by: Charlie Thurston
- Length: 5 hrs
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 118
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 105
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 106
A gut-wrenching, beautiful memoir which explores toxic masculinity and the devastating consequences of war on one impressionable young soldier Matt Young joined the Marine Corps aged 18, after a drunken night that culminated in him crashing his car into a fire hydrant. The teenage wasteland he fled followed him to the training bases of California. Young survived training and then three deployments to Iraq as an infantryman.
-
1 out of 5 stars
-
Annoying and smug
- By Charlie on 01-03-19
By: Matt Young
-
Undaunted
- Surviving Jonestown, Summoning Courage, and Fighting Back
- By: Jackie Speier
- Narrated by: Jackie Speier
- Length: 6 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 225
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 187
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 186
Jackie Speier was twenty-eight when she joined Congressman Leo Ryan’s delegation to rescue defectors from cult leader Jim Jones’s Peoples Temple in Jonestown, Guyana. Ryan was killed on the airstrip tarmac. Jackie was shot five times at point-blank range. While recovering from what would become one of the most harrowing tragedies in recent history, Jackie had to choose: Would she become a victim or a fighter? The choice to survive against unfathomable odds empowered her with a resolve to become a vocal proponent for human rights.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
loved it
- By RockyDog on 11-18-18
By: Jackie Speier
-
Rock Needs River
- A Memoir About a Very Open Adoption
- By: Vanessa McGrady
- Narrated by: Vanessa McGrady
- Length: 5 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 164
-
Performance4 out of 5 stars 130
-
Story4 out of 5 stars 130
After two years of waiting to adopt - slogging through paperwork and bouncing between hope and despair - a miracle finally happened for Vanessa McGrady. Her sweet baby, Grace, was a dream come true. Then Vanessa made a highly uncommon gesture: when Grace’s biological parents became homeless, Vanessa invited them to stay. Without a blueprint for navigating the practical basics of an open adoption or any discussion of expectations or boundaries, the unusual living arrangement became a bottomless well of conflicting emotions and increasingly difficult decisions.
-
1 out of 5 stars
-
A story of Self Absorption
- By dusti on 02-26-19
By: Vanessa McGrady
-
Widowish
- A Memoir
- By: Melissa Gould
- Narrated by: Rachel Botchan
- Length: 7 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 72
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 60
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 61
When Melissa Gould’s husband, Joel, was unexpectedly hospitalized, she could not imagine how her life was about to change. Overwhelmed with uncertainty as Joel’s condition tragically worsened, she offered him the only thing she could: her love and devotion. Her dedication didn’t end with his death. Melissa soon realized that her and Joel’s love lived on. Melissa found she didn’t fit the typical mold of widowhood or meet the expectations of mourning. She didn’t look like a widow or act like a widow, but she felt like one. Melissa was widowish.
-
4 out of 5 stars
-
She had me until The Other Joel
- By N. N. Fowlds on 02-28-21
By: Melissa Gould
-
Like Wind Against Rock
- A Novel
- By: Nancy Kim
- Narrated by: Jackie Chung, Keong Sim
- Length: 7 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 199
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 177
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 177
At the age of thirty-nine, Alice Chang suddenly finds herself living in the last place she expected: her mother’s house. But in the face of divorce, eviction, and the recent death of her father, she doesn’t have a choice. Watching as her mother thrives in a new job and meets younger men at the local gym, Alice struggles, reflecting on her parents’ marriage, her relationship with each of them, as she adjusts to being single again for the first time in twenty years. Then she finds her father’s old journal...and uncovers a shocking family secret.
-
5 out of 5 stars
-
A story of a life
- By Dee on 11-21-21
By: Nancy Kim
-
I’m Still a 10-Year-Old Boy
- Revised and Edited
- By: Nancy Cartwright
- Narrated by: Nancy Cartwright
- Length: 7 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 171
-
Performance5 out of 5 stars 158
-
Story4.5 out of 5 stars 158
Nancy Cartwright, the ultimate Simpsons insider, gives voice to the boy immediately recognizable as none other than Bart Simpson. In this memoir, Nancy traces The Simpsons’ rapid rise to wild popularity, offers hilarious anecdotes about cast members and guest stars, and reveals what it’s like to be at the center of an American institution - one that reinvented the sitcom, rocked the TV networks to the core, and forever changed the face of television.
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3 out of 5 stars
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Scientology?
- By Sara Goerke on 01-03-22
By: Nancy Cartwright
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The Warner Boys
- Our Family's Story of Autism and Hope
- By: Curt Warner, Ana Warner, Dave Boling - contributor
- Narrated by: JD Jackson, Robin Eller, Marcus Stewart
- Length: 5 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4.5 out of 5 stars 142
-
Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 122
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Story4.5 out of 5 stars 122
Seahawks star running back Curt Warner and his wife, Ana, were prominent figures in Seattle in the early 1990s. When they dropped from the public eye after Curt’s retirement, everyone assumed it was for a simpler life. But the reality behind their seclusion was a secret they hid from even their closest friends: their twins, Austin and Christian, had been diagnosed with severe autism. What followed was a painful struggle to hold their family and their marriage together in a home filled with chaos, emotional exhaustion, and constant fear for the safety of their unpredictable but beloved boys.
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4 out of 5 stars
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Gratitude of caring and seeing the whole picture is not an easy journey
- By Ann on 12-04-18
By: Curt Warner, and others
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Dirty Thirty
- By: Asa Akira
- Narrated by: Veronica Worthington
- Length: 5 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall4 out of 5 stars 151
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Performance4.5 out of 5 stars 138
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Story