Text Me When You Get Home

The Evolution and Triumph of Modern Female Friendship

By: Kayleen Schaefer

Narrated by: Lauren Fortgang

Length: 6 hrs and 49 mins

Publisher's summary

"Text Me has the thrills and laughs of a romantic comedy, but with an inverted message: 'There just isn't only one love story in our lives,' Schaefer writes. If you're lucky, friends will be the protagonists in these multiple love stories. It's high time that we start seeing it that way." (NPR)

2018's Great Reads

A personal and sociological examination - and ultimately a celebration - of the evolution of female friendship in pop culture and modern society

For too long, women have been told that we are terrible at being friends, that we can't help being cruel or competitive, or that we inevitably abandon each other for romantic partners. But we are rejecting those stereotypes and reclaiming the power of female friendship.

In Text Me When You Get Home, journalist Kayleen Schaefer interviews more than 100 women about their BFFs, soul mates, girl gangs, and queens while tracing this cultural shift through the lens of pop culture. Our love for each other is reflected in Abbi and Ilana, Issa and Molly, #squadgoals, the acclaim of Girls Trip and Big Little Lies, and Galentine's Day. Schaefer also includes her own history of grappling with a world that told her to rely on men before she realized that her true source of support came from a strong tribe of women. Her personal narrative and celebration of her own relationships weaves throughout the evolution of female friendship on-screen, a serious look at how women have come to value one another and our relationships.

Text Me When You Get Home is a validation that has never existed before. A thoughtful, heart-soaring, deeply reported look at how women are taking a stand for their friendships and not letting go.

©2018 Kayleen Schaefer (P)2018 Penguin Audio

Critic reviews

“A memoir of female friendship issues a call to action for BFFs everywhere.” (New York Times Book Review)

“Text Me has the thrills and laughs of a romantic comedy, but with an inverted message: ‘There just isn't only one love story in our lives,’ Schaefer writes. If you're lucky, friends will be the protagonists in these multiple love stories. It's high time that we start seeing it that way.” (NPR.org)

“Schaefer traces the evolution of female friendship in this thoughtfully reported book. Its insightful cultural criticism makes for an especially valuable read in the #MeToo era.” (Entertainment Weekly)

Great concept but disappointing

Great concept and great subject but this book could've been so much more. Would have benefitted from some better statistics and sources in there rather than anecdotal stories, and looking at older women's friendships or how motherhood forges friendships. Just sort of repeated itself.

You'll Call your Besties ASAP!

What did you love best about Text Me When You Get Home?

While the history and evolution of female friendships as they are presented in the media is definitely intriguing, what I loved most about this book was the constant reminder of how valuable our friendships are. I enjoyed the way the author intertwined her own friendships with pop culture references and famous friendships.

Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?

This book will make you want to call up your best friends and tell them how much you love them!

Any additional comments?

One thing that did sort of irk me about this book was the idea the author seemed to perpetuate that wanting to be married or have a romantic relationship is somehow forsaking your friendships. As a proud feminist, I understand the idea that women are taught romance is above all else, but the author allows the pendulum to swing too far in the opposite direction.

Girlfriends

Well done!! Great read for women of all ages.

Insights to the definition of best girlfriends.

Not what I was hoping for

only so many times you can compare modern women to the characters from 80's sitcoms. I was hoping this would have more substance. we read this for a bookclub because we all tend to say this to each other when we leave a gathering. it was disappointing. lacing statistics and solid research, it felt based on characters from tv shows the author enjoyed. a letdown.

Good message

Wanted to really gush and enjoy this book, it seemed very repetitive and was more like a report of women in the media through the past century more than an intimate tale of female friendship, my book club enjoyed it none the less.

Relatable

From page one I found myself relating to this book. It speaks of relationships of every sort and I was able to connect with each example. After finishing the book, I purchased hard copies to give to my family and friends to let them know how special they were to me.

I thought this book would be more insightful

Sure, there were parts that did open my eyes to the importance of female friendships and the prevalence of internalized misogyny, especially among myself. But that could have been accomplished in about two pages. The rest of the book goes on and on about successful friendships among celebrities and the author's peers really trying to drive how important female friendships are into your brain. I lost interest in several parts but it wasn't enough to prevent me from listening until the end. I guess if you are lucky enough to already have a close knit circle of female friends and you need a reminder to call them, this book is it.

An important book for women of all age

Loved this fresh look at friendships between women. Great mix of modern examples and past examples of the evolution of friendships and why it is so important in our lives.

Really great until liberal political views

I really enjoyed most of this book and luckily she didn’t go off in a political direction until towards the end. It really helped me self reflect my relationships with women and it makes sense tying our current mentalities back to the social norms of the 70s and prior. I didn’t expect to have a chapter in which she discussed her anti-Trump views and how it helped bonding with her female friends while marching. It was just a complete turnoff for me being a strong supporter of our current president. I’m OK with people having their political views that differ from mine but I just didn’t expect it in this book. It’s like paying to see an entertainer and then using their platform to promote their political agenda… It’s not what entertainment is about. The fact that she assumes that most women would identify with this part of the story is also a bit insulting. I would’ve given it a 5 but I still gave it a 4. That chapter kind of deflated my enthusiasm for the book and I was hoping for more interesting ending as well.

A Fantastic Read

What did you love best about Text Me When You Get Home?

This was a great read. I originally picked it because of the title and an interview I heard with the author, but this really was worth the time. The book gives such personal and meaningful insights to female friendships today, and it was somehow comforting to know that some of the friendships I've had in my life are a pretty common experience. I never had a ton of female friends, but I still found this book worthwhile. It's funny and poignant, and sometimes it feels like the author is reading straight from your mind. While it's especially relevant for females, I think this might be a good read for males who are interested in learning and understanding more about female friendships. Highly recommend!