500 Dates

Dispatches from the Front Lines of the Online Dating Wars

By: Mark Miller

Narrated by: Tom Parks

Length: 5 hrs and 56 mins

Publisher's summary

Now several years post-divorce, relationship expert and humorist Mark Miller has experienced more than 500 first dates. In 500 Dates, composed of 55 humor essays, Miller features the highlights and lowlights of those dates.

Among the true dating tales and revelations you will find in this audiobook are:

• How Miller and his date learned the limitations of a man being too emotionally expressive. ("Most guys consider revealing more about themselves emotionally and communicating on a deeper level nearly as enjoyable as falling face-first onto an ice pickor spending the rest of eternity listening to Celine Dion music.")
• Miller's realization that sometimes men have to pay a heavy price for their dates' previous relationship behavior. ("At least six different times, God has matched me up with a woman who has had a long history of wild, impulsive, passionate, no-holds-barred sex. She invariably finds something lacking in that lifestyle and decides to make a change. Starting with the very next man she dates. Who is invariably me.")
• Miller's misguided social experiment to separate dating from status by spending less than $20 on the date, purchasing everything at a 99 store, and what he learned, as a result, about his date and himself. ("I realize now that on the journey of romance, thrift and creativity will take you only so far - for the rest of the trip, you'll need MasterCard.")
• Revealed for the first time the inner workings of a man's brain. ("Cerebellum. Responsible for coordinating movement and maintaining balance. Used primarily when a man has had eight beers and is endeavoring to make his way to the bathroom without tripping over the dog and pulling the fish tank over on top of them.")
• How Miller took his date to his ex-wife's holiday party only to find his date and his ex-wife bonding like high school girlfriends.
• And more.

©2015 Mark Miller (P)2014 Audible Inc.

I just didn’t feel it.

Most of the jokes and information is old and tired. I didn’t learn any useful information, change my perspective about dating, and I didn’t find anything funny. I am sorry I used a credit for this. You might enjoy this if you are Jewish, a man, and over fifty.

Good for a Free Audiobook

The book is a series of essays and anecdotes some that are completely made up for humor and others that are from Mark Miller's personal dating life. He is a middle aged divorced man who goes on a lot of dates.

Overall though I liked the book it humanizes the dating process, many other "dating" books are really how to manipulations but Mark Miller seems to be in a genuine search for a soul mate. I think the Jewish lens he views the world in helps to balance the worldly concerns of sex and money with the spiritual ones of love and friendship; also the humor helps to hold interest and make it fun. Overall worth a listen.

Outdated

This book is from a time before dating apps had algorithms designed to milk money out of men.

Enjoyable and hilarious listen!

As a female, I found it very intriguing to hear the male perspective and the hilarious stories!

terrible

This has been the worst investment of my life... just terrible. Save your money for something better.

Don’t spend money on this!

Poorly told make believe stories and imaginings. No good information and all told from a beta male mindset.

Only 500 dates in 15 years, and you didn't learn?

The author's conclusions were completely opposite of female nature. It's very clear to me, and anyone who understands what women want in men, that the author has a problem advertising himself in the sexual marketplace as a wallet. In other words, women see his dating profile and immediately try to extract resources from him, and the dates portrayed are various attempts at these feminine attempts.

Had the author displayed more lifestyle in his dating practices, and not flaunted his affluence, this book wouldn't exist.

Save yourself the trouble of wasting your time with this book by understanding that the women in the author's life tried to use/used him for his resources.

great if you need a laugh

oh I don't know where to begin. Absolutely one of the funniest books I've ever listened to. And I can relate with. the epilogues was great especially the one about the woman who stopped the guy made a mint every year and it turned out to be literally. Also people spontaneously bursting into flames during sex.