No Bad Kids

Toddler Discipline Without Shame

By: Janet Lansbury

Narrated by: Janet Lansbury

Length: 3 hrs and 29 mins

Publisher's summary

Janet Lansbury is unique among parenting experts. As an RIE teacher and student of pioneering child specialist Magda Gerber, her advice is not based solely on formal studies and the research of others, but also on her 20 years of hands-on experience guiding hundreds of parents and their toddlers. No Bad Kids is a collection of Janet's most popular and widely read articles pertaining to common toddler behaviors and how respectful parenting practices can be applied to benefit both parents and children. It covers such common topics as punishment, cooperation, boundaries, testing, tantrums, hitting, and more. No Bad Kids provides a practical, indispensable tool for parents who are anticipating or experiencing those critical years when toddlers are developmentally obliged to test the limits of our patience and love. Armed with knowledge and a clearer sense of the world through our children's eyes, this period of uncertainty can afford a myriad of opportunities to forge unbreakable bonds of trust and respect.

©2014 Janet Lansbury (P)2014 Janet Lansbury

Basically her podcast again

You can save $10 and just listen to her podcast. Its the same info even many chapters are question an answer format.
I was excited hoping the book would go deeper or be better organized but its not. Its just her podcast stung together in chapters.

Useful

I got useful things from this book, primarily regarding the perspective on button pushing and how much children actually want to be told "no".

However, the book neglects to make important distinctions which make for a confusing, seemingly contradictory read at times.

"Treat children like adults because they have dignity, but don't treat children like adults because that isn't fair to the child."

"Don't tell your children 'no' too much because it will be a source if needless conflict, but definitely tell them 'no' often because they need to know you are in charge in order to feel secure"

You have to work hard to figure it out without much help from the author.

Also, it's largely material from her blog and podcast so it feels a little like a cheat, but perhaps I'm being too stingy there 😅

Doesn’t work as an audiobook

I have a toddler so I’m very busy, and I thought it would be easier to listen to this book rather than read it, but the format of the book does not work as an audiobook. It seems to be a lot of lists, and it’s hard for me to keep track of what the author is telling me. I do think the book has good advice, but I think I need a hard copy rather than audio.

Absolutely worth it!

This book is so wonderful for me, as a parent of an 18 month old. Love the principles and I've seen positive results to the application. She doesn't just talk method, she shares specific examples, which I find invaluable. Highly recommended!

Changing Lives

This is the best book on toddler discipline I have read. Janet's instructions are easy to implement. This book changed our family dynamic in just a week!

Wow! I can't believe it works.

I was a bit skeptical in the beginning since I've been given several books with contradicting advice. I'm a first time mom/SHM and my son is now 16 months. I began using the practices in this book a few days ago and noticed a major change in our interactions. I would get frustrated with myself and with him when he would throw, hit and spit - and just about every normal toddler behavior you could think of. I've finished the book and now have a completely different perspective on parenting and i just a few days of work I feel like I understand my son and he understands me. I don't use third person narratives like "Mommy doesn't want you to hit" instead I just say, "I won't let you hit me". I recommend this to all. Thank you, Janet, for really helping me to change my entire perspective on parenting.

Entitled Generation Handbook

What disappointed you about No Bad Kids?

As a mother of an adult child, as well as a toddler, I have to say that there were a lot of useful hints as to how to handle frustrating situations. However, I feel her style fosters an unhealthy view of authority for children when it comes to parents. While children should never fear being hurt by their parents, they should have a sense of what respectful boundaries are. You don't blame yourself for your child hitting someone after you've told him that it's not acceptable behavior and clearly stated a consequence if the action is repeated. Otherwise, I feel, this sends a message to the child that their negative actions are your fault not theirs. This is where the sense of entitlement is fostered. "Nothing is my fault, it is someone else's. Therefore, I don't deserve to be held responsible." It is the bigger messages we are portraying for children that matter in their adulthood, not smaller situational messages that could lead to coping issue later on in life. I'm no expert but my older son is respectful, sensitive, responsible, empathetic, confident, and hardworking. He is many things most adults aspire to be, including myself. He is a product of many factors but never did I once not hold him accountable for his actions, even in toddler hood. Was he spanked? Once. Does he remember it? YES. Is he scarred? NO. He is a well adjusted, non aggressive person. He looks for reasons not to fight or use force even though he studies martial arts and is built like a brick wall. He is not perfect, but he is someone I'm very proud of. I intend to keep my parenting style in hopes that my toddler will be similar to his older brother.
Maybe I'll write a book someday :)

What do you think your next listen will be?

I'll stick to fiction now.

What aspect of Janet Lansbury’s performance would you have changed?

She did well for the material.

What reaction did this book spark in you? Anger, sadness, disappointment?

Yes

Any additional comments?

I think I said what I needed to.

Good advice, but way too long

Janet Lansbury's approach to parenting toddlers works, and it's actually very simple. So simple, in fact, that it doesn't take a whole book to explain. Large parts of the book are repetitive, and also delivered in the form of numbered lists, which gets to be disorienting.

great!

this was a great book. it contradicts many other books I read but it has helped me with realizing I shouldn't lose my cool with my daughter. the only complaint I have is that it was too short lol

A must read for every parent

This book is simple to listen to accessible and hugely important. This is life-changing material and I can't wait to put these practices to use with my toddler.

A poorly assembled collection of blog posts

Any additional comments?

The core thesis of this book can be summarised as: accord your child's feelings, opinions, needs and wants with the same respect you would give any other persons. This is a compelling proposition, I've read the primary research that substantiates it and, because my initial, uninformed opinion was more "authoritarian", I've seen the happy, emotionally mature and thoughtful children its progressive adoption has created in my own family.

So the idea behind this book is good. But the book itself is terrible and best described as a "listicle of listicles". As the introduction notes, the content is mostly sourced from the author's blog posts and it shows in the low quality book that results.

Consisting of about 30-35k words, the book is divided into 35 short chapters. Whilst these are loosely grouped into themes it's hard to find an arc to the book. Certainly none is articulated. What's more, most of the individual articles are themselves nothing more than lists. Whether it's inability, lack of effort or a genuine, unarticulated impossibility, the author has not attempted to synthesise any overall conclusions or connect chapter to chapter. The resulting text is, quite literally, a list of lists:

"Chapter 1. First, XXX. Second, YYY. Third, ZZZ. Etc"

Some of the more interesting content are the letters from parents with the author's response. Whilst the responses almost always devolve to a list, prefaced with "Dear" and suffixed with "Warmly", the case example provided by the initiating letter provide context to an otherwise platitudinous flow of words.

And this is the deeper problem. Whilst I agree with the author's mindset and perspective, an agreement based on my own independent reading of the research, she presents no research or arguments for why her view is right. An endless sequence of platitudes and appeals to the authority of someone else who says the same thing is no more convincing than Gina Ford's (antithetical) arguments for scheduling and authoritarian discipline.

To summarise: A book is much more than a collection of chapters. An argument is much more than an assertion. Other books ("Raising Boys" and "Raising Girls" come to mind) put this poor effort to shame.

A must read for all parents and carriers of toddlers

A well written and read book that is to the point with clear examples. Buy this book before you buy any other.

It helped me so much

I have been having issues with my toddler, and I did not know how to cope with it. Janet has helped me a great deal in metter of hours.

Thank you

Indispensable advice

Brilliant advice with real life examples and steps to follow. All resonate with every parent in the world. Thank you!

Life-changing advice!

Fantastic tools, which come with most easy to digest and use instructions, Thank you Janet!

The best book on dealing with toddlers

This was the best book on communicating, disciplining and talking to toddlers and just handling various difficult but common situations that arise during the toddler years. Extremely practical and straight to the point. LOVED IT!!

Perfect amount of information

I listened to lots of samples and read lots of blurbs before choosing this audio book for some parenting guidance. It fited with my principles, also relived that it sticks straight to the point with trying to force a load of nuro science into my overloaded brain. However like all parenting books I find a mass of contradictions e.g don't say anything to a toddler you would not say do an adult, but I don't genraly have to praise adults for following my instructions. Also thoroughly aware that opinions are being presented as facts, little lilly whose acting up was due to family visit, how dose anyone know that was the tots experience. There's no randomised control trial for this stuff, too many variables. So yes helpful book I will be trying much of her guidance. But will not take to Hart some of the black and white presentation of right and wrong parenting.

Potentially life changing

For a start I loved hearing Janet's voice after enjoying so many of her Instagram posts. The book is short, concise and contains so much actionable advice, I couldn't recommend it enough!

All you need for your toddler

Step by step instructions on what to do when your toddler does X. Jannet really explains why toddlers do what they do and what they need in advance

Practical guide to interacting with children respectfully

I found this a very accessible and practical guide to parenting my 2 year old daughter with lots of practical examples and ‚ahhh‘ moments. Changed my approach in many ways, big and small changes that make us all happier as a family.