Nice White Ladies

The Truth About White Supremacy, Our Role in It, and How We Can Help Dismantle It

By: Jessie Daniels

Narrated by: Jessie Daniels

Length: 11 hrs and 3 mins

Publisher's summary

An acclaimed expert illuminates the distinctive role that White women play in perpetuating racism, and how they can work to fight it.

In a nation deeply divided by race, the “Karens” of the world are easy to villainize. But in Nice White Ladies, Jessie Daniels addresses the unintended complicity of even well-meaning White women. She reveals how their everyday choices harm communities of color. White mothers, still expected to be the primary parents, too often uncritically choose to send their kids to the “best” schools, collectively leading to a return to segregation. She addresses a feminism that pushes women of color aside, and a wellness industry that insulates White women in a bubble of their own privilege.

Daniels then charts a better path forward. She looks to the White women who fight neo-Nazis online and in the streets, and who challenge all-White spaces from workplaces to schools to neighborhoods. In the end, she shows how her fellow White women can work toward true equality for all.

©2021 Jessie Daniels (P)2021 Seal Press

Critic reviews

“This nation has never, ever read anything like Nice White Ladies, and it shows every single day. Paragraph after paragraph, Jessie Daniels illustrates that's it's not enough just to say what no one is saying. We must, as she does, write what is rarely spoken with supreme skill and a desire to substantiate our claims as though our lives depended on it. I'd love to live in a world where every White woman on Earth reads this book. It could change everything.” (Kiese Laymon, author of Heavy: An American Memoir)

“Mixing stories of her own youth and family with current events, Daniels calls in all White women to look at where they were, where they are, and where they are going. Instead of shying away from difficult truths, she invites readers to sit with them - to look across the table or into the next cubicle and see the impact of generations of choices. As uncomfortable as it is necessary.” (Mikki Kendall, New York Times best-selling author of Hood Feminism)

“Once again, Jessie Daniels has given us a crucial book for understanding race in America. This should be required reading for all who want to dismantle racist systems that limit what could otherwise be possible.” (Safiya Noble, author of Algorithms of Oppression)

Queer whites are also “Nice”

Awesome book overall! Very insightful and thought provoking. However, I would’ve loved a more in-depth analysis of how the white LGBT community and whites who identify as Democrats also cause racial harm and perpetuate white supremacy. I felt the “we’re discriminated against too, so we can’t be a part of the problem” vibes too often—as if non-heterosexual whites are absolved of being Nice white Ladies. Also lots of criticism of Republicans when white Democrats are just as dangerous and as much as an asset to white supremacy in America. Would’ve loved to see those identities included in the full analysis.

Necessary changes

It is a story of implicit bias with some suggestions of what needs to be done but they are hard to hear.

Definitely Download

Absolutely love the book. It is eye opening when pulling the different stories and situations together to have a better understanding of the issue at hand. Enjoyed the ending of how to help step up and make a change.

The must read book on whiteness

Nice White Ladies by @JessieNYC is one of the bravest, most necessary and critically incisive works on whiteness I have ever read. And it is incredibly useful, in a time when we’re drowning in useless “takes” on race and racism. She doesn’t take her reader anywhere she doesn’t first take herself. The integrity of her self examination is what grounds the integrity of the entire thesis of this book. Whiteness is a practice that people can reject and replace by more humane practices. But liberation is hard work and Prof. Daniels shows up for it and shows how everyone can as well.

great

I am continuing to examine my privilege and whiteness in this world. Black Scars White Tears was my first, mire global journey. Nice White Ladies was my next. I am reexamining my own responsibility in the future of my community and rethinking the best use of my own small earned and inherited chunk of wealth. I was part of the hoarding wealth mindset before this book. Now I am thinking more progressively and creatively about what to do with my future life and wealth. Thank you for stirring in me a deep desire to be part of the solution to a century old distortion of truth and human value that is White power. It is time to change.

She gets it, and helps you to see the nuances and constructs

Very good book that helps explain my experience in this as a black man married to a white woman with 2 mixed kids. Sometimes you need to hear a club member articulate the rulebook and inside conversations to you. What you may not be able to change at least you can understand the nuances of racism and the legs that were built for it to stand on.

Excellent

I really appreciated reading this book. I live in a very white world and want to do better to love and uplift people of color in my community. I'm thankful for the many books available to educate me on how to join the dismantling of white supremacy. I'll be valiantly working on finding and using my "Shut the f$ck up" voice for good in this world.

Great book! I've read several books written specifically to white ladies and all of them have been excellent.

This isn't new or exciting.

Whites use, what I call, 'backdoors', e.g., feminism, LGBT, racial/cultural cosplay, etc. as a means of reinventing themselves as 'minorities' (socially marginalised groups), and processing their cognitive dissonance surrounding their daily contributions to maintain the system of racism/white supremacy (RWS).

Once reclassified as some new variation of minority, be it sexual, gender identity-based, political, or otherwise, they can emotionally distance themselves from the historical monstrosity of RWS, and the toll of maintaining it. This, in and of itself, is an expression of white supremacy.

In short, whites use non-whites (Blacks especially), as human-condoms to protect themselves from the psychological harm of RWS, while still enjoying pleasure, and deriving benefit from a system that keeps them comfortable enough to even attempt such a charade in the first place.

Being that such well-meaning whites have no actual intention of eliminating RWS, because it's a survival mechanism, and zero sum game, such works serve as more of a cathartic exercise than a tool for the oppressed. While the 'solutions' given in this book are well-meaning, they don't move the structural policy needle. You can't 'drum-circle', 'downward dog', or 'coffee shop' your way out of RWS, because those weren't the ingredients used to build it.

A Book I Would

I would not suggest this book to my BIPOC friends. While there was nothing inherently wrong with the story or information, the book lacked for me. But then, I am BIPOC. I would be curious to hear the description of how it relays from passing white friends. The book gentlely holds passinh white women accountable. However, I struggle with the gentleness/ kindness because it is not what women of color receive. With that being said, I hope the kindness 'allows' passing white women to really hear and absorb the information and compels them to do better.

author's anger gets in the way

there was some good learnings and information, the author's anger was so distracting, I stopped listening with time left...