• Crooked Little Vein

  • A Novel
  • By: Warren Ellis
  • Narrated by: Todd McLaren
  • Length: 5 hrs and 16 mins
  • 4.1 out of 5 stars (307 ratings)

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Crooked Little Vein  By  cover art

Crooked Little Vein

By: Warren Ellis
Narrated by: Todd McLaren
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Publisher's summary

Michael McGill is a burned-out private detective who suddenly becomes enlisted by an army of presidential goons to retrieve the Constitution of the United States, but not the one we all know about. This would be the real Constitution (the one with invisible amendments), created by some of the Founding Fathers as a fall back for their great experiment. Along the way, McGill gains a polyamorous sidekick named Trix, gets scared to death by what men do with warm salty water, and descends into a world where crime, sex, and madness all seem to be the same thing.

Full of mind-bending style and packed with a wild cast of characters, Crooked Little Vein infuses Robert B. Parker with Kurt Vonnegut and the madness of the graphic-novel world. A surprisingly surreal treat, it will appeal to hardcore comic fans, mystery aficionados, and anybody looking for a riotous adventure.

©2007 Warren Ellis (P)2007 Tantor Media Inc.

Critic reviews

"[A] snappily paced homage to William Burroughs's Naked Lunch." ( Publishers Weekly)
"It's a high-energy joyride." ( Library Journal)
"Funny, inventive, and blithely appalling, this book is Dante on paint fumes." (Joss Whedon, creator, writer, and director of Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

What listeners say about Crooked Little Vein

Average customer ratings
Overall
  • 4 out of 5 stars
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    146
  • 4 Stars
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  • 3 Stars
    38
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Performance
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Story
  • 4 out of 5 stars
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  • 4 Stars
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    30
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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars

Ignore the prude

This book was hilarious. Yes, there are some cringe-worthy moments but it was all in good fun. The narrator was excellent. I lost a lot of sleep with this book because i could not stop listening to it.

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4 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

The wonders of being a sh*t Magnet

I loved this book. The wonders of being a sh*t magnet is the talent of the main character. The people this guy attacks are bottom feeders. The fact that people tell this guy stuff that should never be told puts this guy in some situations that are hilarious. The dialog with the serial killer on a plane had me laughing out loud for at least a minute.

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2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

WOW!

It's has been a few month since I have listened to this book and it has stuck with me like few books have. Sometimes I laugh out loud, others I almost gag. This book was an experience. Good, bad and ugly. I would highly recommend this book if you have a sense of humor and aren't easily offended - well, even if you aren't easily offended this book will probably test your limits. I remember exactly where I was driving when I actually gagged because of a disgusting sexual perversion described in the book. So, in all fairness, be careful because this book is graphic and pretty hardcore - but if you can keep it in perspective - it is a pretty good experience. I have been excitedly - but cautiously - waiting for the next novel.

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2 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    1 out of 5 stars

Awful! Couldn't finish

Any additional comments?

The synopsis led me to believe this was about the hunt for a lost U.S. Constitution. Instead I got a catalog of strange sexual perversions. Don't listen if you don't have the stomach for it.

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars

Enjoyable.

This is not the greatest book in the world. There are plot holes and contrivances that are just staggering, and sometimes it seems like excuses to show weird things. But the overall package is still a lot of fun, with plenty of laugh out loud moments.

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    1 out of 5 stars

ugly

This "novel" is art in the same way that art works steeped in waste products are art. It's a series of offensive vignettes glossed over with a filthy wash. Don't waste your money or time.

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

Amazing Book, Lackluster Narration

One of my favorite books, however the narration leaves something to be desired, not awful but could have been done better Justice.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    4 out of 5 stars

A weird trip worth the vulgarity

This boom isn’t for everyone. Many people choose to ignore the underbelly of the world we live in but this book takes it on in an interesting thriller/mystery kind of way. If you familiar with the work of Chuck Palahniuk, this will feel like a stem off that tree dark, twisted tree. The voicing has just enough nuance to tell the characters apart without sounds cartoonish and lends a genuinity to their portrayal.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    5 out of 5 stars

what an adventure!

that was definitely a roller coaster of different kinds of things. I enjoyed it, it definitely had its moments.

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  • Overall
    2 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    3 out of 5 stars
  • Story
    2 out of 5 stars

Shock me shock me shock me

I like the story, I like the characters, I like the narrator, and I get the message and what Ellis is trying to do here. But this was too crass and heavy handed for me. Like the audiobook version of Serbian Film. Lost it's punch and blew its shock was too hard too soon

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