My Dead Parents

A Memoir

By: Anya Yurchyshyn

Narrated by: Anya Yurchyshyn

Length: 9 hrs and 37 mins

Publisher's summary

Named one of Esquire's "Best Nonfiction Books of 2018"

"Sharp and searching...a potent look at the fraught, painful, and complicated relationship between parents and children, and the mysteries - revelatory, difficult - that can and cannot be solved." (Boston Globe)

Anya Yurchyshyn grew up in a narrow townhouse in Boston, every corner filled with the souvenirs of her parents’ adventurous international travels. On their trips to Egypt, Italy, and Saudi Arabia, her mother, Anita, and her father, George, lived an entirely separate life from the one they led as the parents of Anya and her sister - one that Anya never saw. The parents she knew were a brittle, manipulative alcoholic and a short-tempered disciplinarian: people she imagined had never been in love.

When she was 16, Anya’s father was killed in a car accident in Ukraine. At 32, she became an orphan when her mother drank herself to death. As she was cleaning out her childhood home, she suddenly discovered a trove of old letters, photographs, and journals hidden in the debris of her mother’s life. These lost documents told a very different story than the one she’d believed to be true - of a forbidden romance; of a loving marriage, and the loss of a child. With these revelations in hand, Anya undertook an investigation, interviewing relatives and family friends, traveling to Wales and Ukraine, and delving deeply into her own difficult history in search of the truth, even uncovering the real circumstances of her father’s death - not an accident, perhaps, but something more sinister.

In this inspiring and unflinchingly honest debut memoir, Anya interrogates her memories of her family and examines what it means to be our parents’ children. What do we inherit, and what can we choose to leave behind? How do we escape the ghosts of someone else’s past? And can we learn to love our parents not as our parents, but simply as people? Universal and personal; heartbreaking and redemptive, My Dead Parents helps us to see why sometimes those who love us best hurt us most.

©2018 Anya Yurchyshyn (P)2018 Random House Audio

Critic reviews

"Yurchyshyn’s first book, a memoir of her relationship with her parents before and after their deaths, examines the idea that children can never fully understand the depth and dimension of their parents.... In this beautifully written, poignant, honest, and unflinching work, the author takes readers with her on her journey through grief and discovery as she finds out - for good or ill - who her parents really were.... An inviting debut that is highly recommended to readers with an interest in memoir, narrative nonfiction, and family history." (Library Journal)

"This is a fascinating and insightful memoir about how relationships evolve and change, even after death." (Publishers Weekly)

"Searching and intense, Yurchyshyn's book is not only a heartfelt examination of parent-child relationships; it is also an unsentimental interrogation of the complex nature of family love. A probing and candid memoir." (Kirkus)

"This candid and redemptive memoir shows the fallibility of family and how perception can change everything." (Booklist)

Unexpected twists and turns

Aside from the flat tone in the narration, this story moved me in many ways. Especially the part about the aching arms after the tragic loss. I did hear real emotion, and I got emotional. I understand that loss.
This book is a thorough telling of the lives of a family-from childhood to end of life for some. There are stories of abuse, with none (except the cat part) being too difficult to hear as it does stop. It was necessary to touch on it in order to get the gist of the dysfunction.
I recommend although, I would rather have read the book.

interesting

once past adolescence we usually become friends with our parents. I think if her father had lived then it would of been a different outcome for her mom. some people don't make it through losing loved ones and Anya s mom was proof of that. most of us only make it bearable never back to the way it was. death isn't natural and it's a thief that is hated by God himself. one day he will undo it. Ukraine will be healed too. this might seem too good to be true but it's not. and I write this for Anya herself to check out JW.Org to find the hard core evidence. you were robbed of your parents. I hope you read your reviews and are brave enough to check out the facts yourself. glad you finally saw your parents as people who are just as flawed as we all are.